


Despite All Of This

by facethefall



Category: Glee
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 01:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facethefall/pseuds/facethefall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine prefers the term "<i>friends with benefits</i>", but Sebastian has always been fond of "<i>fuck buddies</i>", instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings** : semi-public sex, oral sex without condoms.  
>  **Notes** : AU after 4x04. Diverges from the canon timeline in a few places, but that was mostly due to my laziness. :)  
>  **Thanks** : To Suzey, for making the amazing graphic. My cheerleaders and hand holders - Alice, Dianna, and Alana, who helped me with this fic more than they know. My betas - Lindsey, who went so far out of her comfort zone to do this for me, and Liz, who was there for me every step of the way. I can safely say this fic would not have been written without her.

The music inside Scandals is loud as Blaine calls his order out to the bartender.  He’s never been on a Saturday night before and the environment is totally different than during the middle of the week — the lights are lower, the music is louder, the dance floor is full of people his own age.  It’s a little overwhelming, but in a good way.  It gives him something to focus on besides the dull ache in his chest, the constant pounding in his head, New York and Vogue and his ex-boyfriend.

He takes a sip, the liquor burning just a little as it slides down his throat.  He’s not sure what exactly he’s looking for tonight.  He wants to let loose and have fun for the first time in months, since his cell phone had been glued to his hand with Kurt’s voicemail playing constantly in his ears.  He’s tired of beating himself up, tired of his texts going unanswered, tired of taking complete blame for a break up that was a result of so many things wrong in their relationship.  Maybe it’s immature and selfish, but he just wants to forget for a while; to drink and dance and leave New York City as far from his mind as possible

He looks around the dance floor, running his fingers through the condensation that collects on his glass.  It’s hard to see the men that are here, the lights too low to make out much of anything.  But he sees bodies pressed together; arms around shoulders, hands on hips, lips crushed together.  He feels heat in his stomach that he blames on the alcohol rising up, the warmth settling in his cheeks.  He’s never been allowed to look before, to be so blatant in wanting something.  He watches as a few people look from the dance floor, feels his skin prickle as their eyes drift up and down his body.

The rest of his drink is finished with a final gulp, the warm liquid washing down his throat as he swallows.  He wipes his mouth with the bar napkin that his drink was sitting on, collecting a few drops of soda water that cling to the corner of his mouth.  The bartender calls from behind him, asking if he wants another drink and Blaine turns around, resting his elbows on the dark wood of the bar.

“Not right now, but can I keep my tab open?” Blaine asks.  He’s not done drinking, but he wants to dance.

“A tab won’t be necessary,” a voice says from behind him and Blaine recognizes it instantly.  “I’m buying his drinks.”

Blaine turns around, colors spinning in front of his eyes as he moves.  Sebastian looks good, but Sebastian always looks good.  Blaine drags his eyes up Sebastian’s body; up his long legs, his narrow waist, the broad stretch of his shoulders.  His stomach tightens when he sees Sebastian’s smirk, just a hint of teeth showing, and it’s easy enough to blame it on the alcohol flowing through his body.

“You don’t have to do that,” Blaine says, already smiling as Sebastian moves closer.  He squeezes his way in between Blaine and the barstool next to him, leaning on the bar while their feet mix together.

“Don’t mention it,” Sebastian says before turning to the bartender.  “Two tequila shots, please.”

It’s on Blaine’s lips before Sebastian finishes speaking, the apology and excuses about why he shouldn’t take the offered shot.  But then he remembers that it’s okay to have fun with Sebastian, to do something that was previously forbidden.

The bartender, a man in a too-tight vest and highlights from fifteen years ago, pours their shots, holding the liquor bottle up high as it drops into their shot glasses.  Blaine watches as the small glasses are filled and doesn’t know how to tell Sebastian that he’s never tried tequila before.

“Lime or salt?” The bartender asks as he slides the shots carefully across the bar, not even a drop of alcohol spilling out of them.

“No training wheels for me,” Sebastian says, taking the shots in his hand and offering one to Blaine.  “Blaine?”

Blaine looks at the amber colored liquid. “Can I get a lime, please?” He asks.

The bartender places a wedge on a cocktail napkin and passes it over.

“To second chances,” Sebastian says, clinking their glasses together and Blaine is bringing the shot to his lips before he can stop himself.

It burns, so much more than his earlier drink.  He coughs at the end of it, reaching for the lime and sinking his teeth in, sucking out the juice until his throat stops burning and he can take a deep breath.  Sebastian is watching him intently, the shot glass still gripped in his hand, but now empty.  Blaine removes the fruit from his mouth, but licks his lips slowly, collecting the excess juice with his tongue.  He smacks his lips together, the tartness of the lime juice making his mouth pucker just a bit.

“So,” Sebastian drawls, pulling up a stool next to Blaine.  He angles his chair so they’re facing each other and Blaine sits down on his.  “I didn’t think I’d see you here again.”

Blaine shrugs a shoulder casually, slouching down just a bit in his seat so their knees brush together.  “Well here I am,” he says, hoping Sebastian doesn’t want any more of an explanation.

“Are you here alone?” is all he asks and Blaine nods once.  Sebastian’s grin is huge and he steps down from the barstool.  “Then I think we should dance.”

It’s exactly what Blaine wants to hear, hopping down from his seat and following Sebastian out to the dance floor.  The song is loud and he doesn’t recognize the lyrics, but he can feel the bass beating in the center of his chest.   They pass through bodies, making their way to the back of the small area for dancing.  Sebastian slides his hands around Blaine’s hips easily and then they’re pressed together; chests, thighs, knees.  It’s so different from the last time Blaine was here dancing with him, now that he’s allowed to want this, doesn’t have to feel guilty about enjoying the way their bodies move together.  The alcohol doesn’t make him uncoordinated or sloppy, it just puts everything into a nice haze, making his arms and legs loose and the dancing comes easily.

He loops his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders and pulls them closer together, until he can feel Sebastian’s belt buckle rubbing against his lower stomach.  The feeling it gives him is something he’s been searching for for months; to be wanted, to be acknowledged, to know that he’s the only thing on someone else’s mind.

“I almost forgot how hot you are,” Sebastian says, bringing his face down to speak into Blaine’s ear.  He must be talking at a normal volume, but the music is so loud that it sounds like he’s whispering. He sneaks his hands from Blaine’s waist around to his back, until his fingers are dancing beneath the tight denim of Blaine’s jeans.  “Almost.”  He lets his fingertips rest there, not dipping in any farther, even though Blaine has the sudden desire to know what it feels like to have Sebastian’s hands gripping onto him.

Blaine doesn’t respond, just moves a half step closer and rocks up on his feet, forcing Sebastian's hands to slide farther down his ass. The guilt is starting to slip away with each beat of the music; the guilt of cheating, the guilt of wanting someone else, the guilt of the knowing that it's _okay_ to want someone else. He doesn't want to stop and think about why it took Sebastian’s hands on him to figure that out, why he suddenly has nothing else on his mind besides the way Sebastian’s chest feels pressed against his.  
  
The song changes, switching from one loud, thumping beat to the next, and Blaine moves with it. He pulls back from where his face is pressed into Sebastian's neck and half expects to see Sebastian eyeing the room, looking for the next boy he's going to fuck. What he sees instead, is Sebastian with his eyes closed, opening only when he feels Blaine pull back. Sebastian raises an eyebrow as Blaine looks him over, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.  
  
Blaine's more than a little surprised when he feels a surge of want zip through him, how he has to psychically hold himself back from pushing up and kissing Sebastian in the middle of the dance floor.  It rocks him like a punch to his stomach, leaving him dizzy and lightheaded.  He's spent the entire breakup being so absolutely certain that he'd never want anyone but Kurt again, that he _couldn't_.  He can barely think back to the moment of getting dressed afterwards without a wave of nausea hitting him, remembering how he slowly tugged on his shirt while Eli joked from somewhere off behind him. He had thought that was all the confirmation he would ever need, that he wouldn’t ever want anyone besides Kurt.  
  
Blaine takes a deep breath and steadies himself  using the alcohol to bolster his confidence — and he doesn't think of Kurt at all as he tugs on the collar of Sebastian's shirt, pulling him down so he can whisper in Sebastian’s ear. "Do you want to grab another drink?"  
  
Sebastian's teeth nip at Blaine's jaw and Blaine jolts, straightening his back, and turns to press his cheek closer to Sebastian’s willing mouth. "No," Sebastian says and Blaine can't stop his mouth from dropping open in shock. He tightens his grip on Sebastian's collar and pulls back. Maybe he read the entire situation wrong.  Maybe Sebastian doesn’t want him, doesn’t want someone so broken.  He casts his eyes down, ready to grab a bottle of water from the bar and drive himself home.

Sebastian runs his finger along the bottom of Blaine’s jaw, pressing up until his mouth is closed.  “I don’t want to get a drink,” Sebastian explains, his voice smooth and his eyes locked with Blaine’s.  “Because if we have another drink, you might not remember this in the morning.”  He pauses, long enough to drop his arms back to Blaine’s waist, pulling closer until his knee is pressed high along the inside of Blaine’s thigh.  Blaine’s entire body burns, from the bottom of his stomach to the tips of his ears, and he slouches down into Sebastian’s touch.   Sebastian doesn’t even flinch under the added weight, just tightens his grip and Blaine can feel the muscles in his arms clench. “And I want you to remember every second,” Sebastian finishes, dropping his face until their foreheads are nearly touching, a few strands of  Sebastian’s hair caught in between.

Blaine had given little thought to the moment where he would kiss someone new, to when he would _want_ to.  Late at night, after staring at his silent phone for hours, he had thoughts that drifted to people who he wanted to kiss that weren’t Kurt.  It gave him a sinking feeling in his stomach and he would roll over, typing out a text that was sure to go unanswered.

His heels slip out of the back of his shoes as he reaches up to slot their lips together.  Sebastian makes a surprised noise, but Blaine can feel when Sebastian smiles into the kiss.  It’s short, and Blaine tries to follow Sebastian’s lips as he pulls back.  Sebastian chuckles and presses a kiss to Blaine’s cheek.

“Are you sure you want this?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine hardly has to think before he has his answer.

It’s in the way he’s licking his lips, chasing after the taste of Sebastian on them.  It’s how he hasn’t pretended Sebastian was anyone else, new or old, from the moment he laid eyes on him in the bar tonight.  It’s the way Blaine notices how Sebastian’s cheeks are stained red, and the trail of sweat dripping down his neck.

Maybe he should be surprised at how quickly he has his answer, but then again, maybe he shouldn’t.  There’d always been something about Sebastian; from his first bit of cockiness that caught Blaine so completely off guard, to his apology in The Lima Bean.  Sebastian had always been there, something he needed to convince himself he didn’t want, telling himself over and over even when he was happy with someone else.

He tilts his head back up as Sebastian leans down, and they meet in the middle.  Their lips open at the same time as their hips grind to the beat of the music, Blaine’s breath leaving him entirely at the onslaught of sensations.  His arms move on their own, sliding up Sebastian’s back until they’re resting on his shoulders, and Blaine dips his fingers under the collar of Sebastian’s shirt to press into the warm skin.  Sebastian kisses him like he wants to do nothing else, and it has been so long since Blaine has felt this way.  Sebastian pushes his tongue past Blaine’s lips, licking inside his mouth.  Blaine’s head is clouded with tequila and arousal, but he’s aware enough to kiss back.  He pulls back to bite at Sebastian’s bottom lip, running his tongue over the small indentations.  Sebastian growls and pulls Blaine impossibly closer, no longer dancing, just kissing, as they rock their hips together.

Later he can blame it on the heat in the bar, the flash of the lights, the pounding of the bass, the alcohol drifting through his body, for what he asks Sebastian next.  It’s off his lips before he has time to think about it, but if he’s being honest with himself, he’s thought about it for a long time, longer than just the fifteen minutes they’ve been dancing together.

“If we’re not having another drink,” Blaine says, trailing his lips across Sebastian’s jaw and down his neck.  His words are muffled, his mouth pressed into Sebastian’s overheated skin, but he speaks clearly when he asks, “why don’t we get out of here?”

Sebastian pulls back completely, putting a few inches between their bodies.  Blaine misses the warmth immediately, wants to feel Sebastian’s solid body pressed against his again.  Blaine chews on his bottom lip as Sebastian looks him over, Sebastian’s mouth dropped open as he takes quick inhales of breath.  Blaine doesn’t know what Sebastian’s thinking, has never seen this look on Sebastian’s face before.  It’s not his trademark smirk or a knowing grin, no flirting eyes or quirked eyebrows.  Blaine closes his eyes and braces himself for Sebastian’s answer, hoping he doesn’t ask why or if Blaine’s sure.

“Your place or mine?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine’s eyes snap open.

Blaine waits for his flight instinct to kick in, to tell him to get as far away from Sebastian as possible — even after admitting that he wants Sebastian, it’s still what he expects.  It’s what he’s been conditioned to do when Sebastian flirts shamelessly with him, had it pounded into him over and over again, “ _don’t answer his phone calls_ ” and “ _delete his number_ ”.   He waits, holding his breath, but the feeling never comes.  Instead of feeling offended at Sebastian’s blatant invitation, he feels nervous excitement creep up from his stomach.  There’s no disgust as Sebastian licks his lips and drags his hand up and down Blaine’s spine, just a sharp heat making its way through Blaine’s entire body.

“My parents aren’t home,” Blaine answers as calmly as he can, keeping his hands steady to not give away his nerves.

Sebastian’s smile is wide across his face, his bright teeth shining even in the darkness of the bar.  Blaine is momentarily mesmerized, his glance caught between the flush on Sebastian’s cheeks, the dip of his neck, a lock of hair falling down onto his forehead.  He’s made his mind up, the last bit of doubt washing away as Sebastian lays his palm flat across the small of Blaine’s back.

“Are you okay to drive?” Sebastian asks, and the serious tone in his voice catches Blaine off guard.

“I’m fine,” Blaine insists—and he is.  The effects of the liquor are almost completely gone, nothing left but a slight buzz to his head that could easily be from the beating music or pulsing lights.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sebastian asks and—just because he can—Blaine leans up and brings their lips together.  He can feel that Sebastian is caught off guard, the way he jolts just a bit as Blaine licks into his mouth.  Sebastian is quick to respond, though; digging his fingers into the muscles of Blaine’s back and opening his mouth eagerly.  The kiss is dirty, open mouths and tongues and wetness, and Blaine can’t get enough.  He can’t remember the last time he’s been kissed like this, with such obvious passion and want.  Sebastian clings to him, holding him as tightly as he can, not satisfied until their entire bodies are lined together.

Blaine pulls away first, licking at the lines of his lips.  Sebastian is panting just slightly, just enough that Blaine can notice.  It makes something like pride surge through him, knowing he can effect Sebastian in such an obvious way.

The rise of Sebastian’s chest is subtle before he starts speaking.  “I’ll follow you back to your place,” he says, leaning down and brushing his lips against Blaine’s warm cheek.  “Don’t chicken out on me now.”

Blaine laughs, shaking his head.  His mind is made up, there’s no chance of him running away.  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he teases and god, this entire exchange with Sebastian just makes him feel _good_.

“Then lead the way,” Sebastian murmurs against his skin before pulling back.

They make their way through the crowd of people, the pressure on his back from Sebastian’s palm warm and comforting in a way Blaine doesn’t really want to stop and think about.  They cut through strangers on the dance floor, men stopping to watch them as they leave.  Blaine thinks he sees jealousy on their dark faces and doesn’t miss when Sebastian tugs him a little closer to his body.

The cool air is like a slap to the face as they make their way outside, the effects of the alcohol long gone, and so is the feeling of being pleasantly warm.  Blaine does a full body shiver, jumping a bit in Sebastian’s arms, and Sebastian runs a hand from Blaine’s shoulder down to his elbow.

“The quicker we get back to your place, the quicker I can warm you up,” he says and Blaine has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sebastian,” Blaine says as they cross through the parking lot, weaving in-between cars.  “You don’t have to use those terrible lines on me.”

Sebastian just smirks and stops next to a sleek black car, only then taking his hand away from Blaine’s back and reaching into his front pocket to pull out his keys.  “How far away is your house?”

“Ten minutes,” Blaine answers and suddenly he wishes he lived closer.  He wants Sebastian near him, touching him, doesn’t want space away from him where he could change his mind.  He’s instantly colder as Sebastian steps away to unlock his car and Blaine doesn’t think before he presses his chest up against Sebastian’s back.  He can feel Sebastian’s laugh vibrating and Blaine loops his arms around Sebastian’s waist, pressing his cheek to Sebastian’s shoulder.

“I’ll see you in ten minutes then,” Sebastian says, turning around in Blaine’s arm.  He finds Blaine’s eyes and brings his hand up, running his thumb against the skin under Blaine’s bottom lip.

This is his last chance to pull away, to call this entire thing off.  To go home alone and lie in his bed and stare at the wall until the sun comes up.  He doesn’t want that though, doesn’t want to spend another night alone while he thinks of someone who doesn’t want him.  He wants Sebastian sharing his bed, wants the intimacy that it will bring.

Sebastian leans down and presses a kiss to Blaine’s lips, firm and promising, before pulling back and giving him a quick wink.  He opens the door and slides into his car as Blaine walks over to his own, parked a few spaces away.  He sits down in the driver’s seat and starts the car, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before putting the car in gear and driving off, Sebastian’s headlights clear in his rearview mirror.


	2. Chapter 2

“Nice place,” Sebastian says as they walk up the short path to Blaine’s front door.  Blaine can’t tell if Sebastian’s being sarcastic or not, so he just slips his key into the lock and pushes the door open.  He can’t pinpoint the feeling that’s rushing through him, causing his fingers to buzz and his vision to blur.  Sebastian is inside his house, a few short steps away from his bedroom, and he never thought he’d truly see this day.  He had thought about it almost a year ago, dreamt and fantasized about what it would be like, when Sebastian’s cocky smile seemed to be a permanent fixture when he closed his eyes.

The door shuts softly behind them and Blaine turns around to see Sebastian leaning up against the wood, his shoulders relaxed.  He toes off his shoes slowly, never breaking eye contact.  Blaine just watches, eyes flicking everywhere Sebastian moves—where his waist bends, where his neck turns, where his elbow crooks.  Blaine stands still where he is, unsure of what to say or how to act.

“This part is always awkward,” Sebastian says, pushing off from the door and walking over.  Blaine swallows once and nods slowly.  The feeling is different now. Maybe not awkward, but his nerves are back now after the short car ride, without Sebastian pressed up against him.  Sebastian stops a few feet in front of Blaine.  “Why don’t you show me to your room?”

The hallway is dark as they walk down, Sebastian sticking close as Blaine leads the way.  He pushes his bedroom door open and flicks on the switch, covering the entire room in bright light.  It’s a shock that makes him squint, his eyes not used to artificial light after spending most of the night in darkness.  He steps out of his shoes and looks over at Sebastian, who’s hanging back in the doorway.  He looks even better like this, covered in light and not hidden in the back corner of the bar.  Blaine can see the freckles that peek out from the collar of Sebastian’s shirt, the deep red of his lips, the barely-there stubble across his cheeks and jaw that Blaine is aching to feel again.  His _want_ for Sebastian that had curbed during the drive comes roaring back, settling in the pit of his stomach.

His breath starts low in his chest, filling his lungs deeply before exhaling.  He knows he wants this, wants Sebastian, and his toes curl into the carpet before he moves closer.  He’s only a little hesitant as he takes a few short steps, stopping right in front of Sebastian.  Sebastian quirks an eyebrow, and the familiarity of it hits Blaine square in the chest.  His fingers itch to touch him and he’s almost overwhelmed with the thought that he’s allowed to—that Sebastian wants it too.

Blaine reaches his hand up and starts at the hollow of Sebastian’s neck, dragging the pads of his fingers down the front of Sebastian’s chest, catching on the buttons of his shirt.  He stops when his knuckles bump into the buckle of Sebastian’s belt and he stares in awe as his fingers trace the shiny metal, cold to the touch.  Sebastian’s breath catches in his throat, a sharp intake of air as Blaine lets his hands wander.  His eyes are wide as he pushes up the bottom of Sebastian’s shirt, finally exposing the skin that’s been on his mind for longer than he cares to admit.  With one hand holding up the fabric, Blaine brings his other hand to trace the dips of Sebastian’s abs, watches as they constrict with every swipe of his fingers.

“Blaine,” Sebastian says, and Blaine jerks his head up, leaving his fingers pressed against Sebastian’s stomach.  “Why don’t we move this to your bed, hmm?”

 “Yeah,” Blaine says, nodding quickly as he starts moving backwards, his hand still twisted in Sebastian’s shirt.  “We should do that.”

It takes no time at all before the back of Blaine’s knees are bumping into the bed, startling him a bit and causing him to jerk forward.  Sebastian gives him an easy smile and runs his palms down the length of Blaine’s sides.  It’s calming and just what Blaine needs to center himself, to slow his racing heart.  He moves back with purpose this time, letting go of Sebastian’s shirt so he can sit on his bed, falling back onto his hands and letting his legs slide open.  Sebastian’s eyes drag slowly up Blaine’s body and Blaine can’t help but notice where they seem to linger—right below the dip of his stomach, where he’s already hard and pressing against the zipper of his jeans.

Sebastian steps forward into Blaine’s space, moving in-between his legs.  He licks his lips, slowly dragging his tongue along the lines of his mouth, and presses his palm against Blaine’s shoulder.  Blaine takes the hint and scoots back up the bed, not stopping until the back of his head thumps against the headboard.  Sebastian is quick to follow, inching up on his hands and knees until he’s leaning into Blaine’s space.  He places a hand onto Blaine’s stomach, up underneath his shirt until his fingers rest against the warm skin.  He slides his hand over until he’s gripping onto Blaine’s hip and tugs, pulling until Blaine is sliding down from the headboard and landing softly in the pillows.

“Hmm,” Sebastian hums, dropping his head down to murmur against Blaine’s neck and dipping at his elbows until their chests are pressed together. “I’ve got you right where I want you.”

The feeling of being under someone, pressed down into the mattress, makes Blaine’s head spin. His entire body buzzes everywhere they touch, sharp pin pricks of pleasure searing through his fingers, his chest, the inside of his thighs.  He closes his eyes and stretches his head back, pulling the skin on his neck tight, giving Sebastian more room to run his lips over.  Blaine can’t help but focus on how Sebastian’s arms are resting so closely to his shoulders, his knees straddling high on Blaine’s thighs, trapping him against the mattress.

Sebastian’s fingers tiptoe down the length of Blaine’s neck, his lips following, until they’re stuck in the collar of Blaine’s shirt.  Sebastian pulls it down, exposing the dip of Blaine’s throat, and grazes his teeth against the sensitive skin.  It’s like an electric shock ripping through Blaine and he tears his hands off the bed, grabbing onto Sebastian’s waist as his hips jerk up.

“Can we lose some clothes?” Blaine asks, his hips continuing to rock.  It feels so good, exactly what he wants, but he needs more.  He needs to see Sebastian’s skin, to feel and to taste, to know that this entire thing is real and actually happening.  He wants everything tonight with Sebastian, and he feels his last bit of nerves drift away.

Blaine can feel Sebastian’s lips pull into a smile against his neck, his hips grinding down easily against Blaine.  “Like you even need to ask,” Sebastian says, pulling away from Blaine’s neck and settling back, until Blaine can feel Sebastian’s weight pressing down on his thighs.  Blaine watches, his mouth dropped open just a bit to take in a few labored breaths, as Sebastian slowly undoes the buttons on his shirt.  With each new inch of exposed skin Blaine feels his head get lighter, his skin grow hotter.

Sebastian shrugs his shirt from his shoulders and tosses it onto the floor.  Blaine barely has a chance to take Sebastian’s naked chest in before there are hands at the hem of his polo, untucking it from his pants and pulling it up above his eyes, an extra hard tug when the shirt gets caught on an elbow.  His shirt clears his head and is quickly lost on the floor and Blaine blinks twice, clearing his eyes to look at Sebastian.

The skin on his chest and stomach is just a shade paler than the skin on his arms, and smooth, stretched tight over the muscles of his abs.  Blaine’s fingers itch to touch, to run his hands along the dips and grooves of Sebastian’s body.  He reaches up before he can stop himself, realizing he doesn’t _want_ to stop himself, straining his back and shoulders until his hands are sliding across Sebastian’s lower stomach, mapping out the muscles with his fingertips.

“Fuck, Blaine,” Sebastian murmurs, watching intently as Blaine’s fingers trace the freckles that are scattered across his skin.

Blaine loves the way his name sounds falling from Sebastian’s lips, can feel himself already getting addicted to the low pitch of his voice, the way he holds onto the vowels of Blaine’s name for half a second too long.  It’s erotic, the way his lips and mouth move as he forms the word, and Blaine commits the sound to memory.

“Pants too?” Blaine asks, but his fingers are already dropping lower, leaving Sebastian’s stomach until they’re pulling at the buckle of his belt, tugging quickly at the button of his jeans and yanking down his fly.  The jeans hang loosely on Sebastian’s hips and Blaine pulls harder, getting his point across without speaking.

“Well somebody’s in a rush,” Sebastian muses, but doesn’t stop Blaine from pulling at his pants.  He rises up onto his knees and Blaine slides the jeans off his hips, tugging until they get caught on Sebastian’s thighs.  Blaine makes an aggravated noise in the back of his throat, needs Sebastian’s pants off and on the floor _now_.  Sebastian just chuckles and eases Blaine’s hands away as he kicks his jeans off the rest of the way.  His underwear is black and tight, clinging to his waist and thighs, his dick hard and obvious in the dark material.  Blaine stares, completely overwhelmed with what’s in front of him and how much he wants it.  He reaches forward without thinking anymore, so done with overthinking everything in his life, and runs his palm up the length of Sebastian’s covered erection.  Even with a layer between their skin, Blaine can still feel how warm Sebastian is, how solid he is when Blaine wraps his fist around the base of Sebastian’s cock and strokes up once.

Sebastian hisses, rocking his hips into Blaine’s hand.  “Yeah, yeah okay,” he mutters, his hands immediately coming down and starting in on Blaine’s pants, undoing the button and fly with what Blaine can only assume is practiced ease.  Blaine lifts his hips up as Sebastian pulls his pants down; off his hips, past his knees and ankles, until they join the rest of the clothing on the floor.

Blaine’s hands are back on Sebastian almost immediately, running his thumbs over each of Sebastian’s hipbones, before sliding his palms around until they’re lying on Sebastian’s back.  He lets the tips of his fingers sneak under the elastic of Sebastian’s underwear, fitting perfectly into the two small dips right above his ass.  Blaine tugs, hard, until Sebastian is moving up Blaine’s legs and settling all of his weight on Blaine’s hips.

“C’mon,” Blaine urges, pulling harder, needing to feel Sebastian pressed up against him again like they were on the dance floor.

Sebastian shuffles forward the last few inches, moving closer and closer until their cocks are finally fitted perfectly together.  Blaine bucks up at the first bit of contact, struggling to take a breath as Sebastian rocks their hips together easily.  Blaine’s dick is trapped in the tight space between Sebastian’s cock and the crease of his upper thigh and Blaine knows this is enough, knows that he could come from rutting up against Sebastian.  His skin feels like it’s on fire, like he can’t catch his breath, but it’s exactly what he wants.  His mind is nowhere but here, with Sebastian—the way Sebastian’s breath catches in his throat, the way his teeth dig into his lip, the flush that starts at his cheeks and moves all the way down his chest.

“Before we go any further,” Sebastian starts as he leans forward.  His voice is muffled to Blaine’s ears, his head filled with too much pleasure to make out Sebastian’s words clearly.  Sebastian pauses as he bends forward, mouth open and wet along the top of Blaine’s chest.

“What?” Blaine asks after a few moments, Sebastian still silent as he marks red trails along Blaine’s chest.  Blaine digs his fingers hard into Sebastian’s back, rocking his hips up faster and faster, the friction of their dicks rubbing together bordering on too much.  They work together in a perfect rhythm of give and take, Sebastian’s dick sliding and catching just right against Blaine’s.  The way Sebastian’s hips rock back and forth reminds Blaine of getting fucked and he spreads his legs wider to give Sebastian more room to move.

“Oh,” Sebastian says, almost as an after-thought, as if he had forgotten what he was going to say in the first place.  Sebastian’s teeth catch on one of Blaine’s nipples and the groan that leaves Blaine’s mouth sounds almost pained.  “I’m sure you know already, but I don’t do boyfriends,” Sebastian explains, his hips picking up speed as they rock together.

Blaine isn’t sure if Sebastian is looking for a reaction out of him, but Blaine isn’t surprised in the slightest.  He knows Sebastian’s reputation, knows his views on monogamy.  Blaine’s not jaded enough to think that he’ll never want that again someday, but right now it’s the furthest thing from his mind.  He doesn’t want a boyfriend to disappoint him or ignore him, doesn’t want to get close enough to get hurt again.  He tugs on Sebastian’s shoulder until Sebastian glances up, his mouth still open against the skin of Blaine’s chest.

“Are you going to fuck me?” he asks.  Whatever nerves he had about asking are gone as soon as he sees Sebastian’s reaction—his mouth drops open and his eyes go wide.  It only lasts for a second before he schools his face into something more unreadable, pulling back and sitting up as he hooks his thumbs into the waist of his underwear.

“Of course I am,” Sebastian answers, separating their hips so he can take off the material.  Blaine groans at the loss as Sebastian moves away, but watches as Sebastian slides the underwear down off of his hips.  Blaine focuses on each new inch of skin as it’s revealed, not blinking as Sebastian pulls the boxer briefs down his thighs and off his legs.  He reaches down to his ankles and kicks the material to the floor before looking up and meeting Blaine’s eyes.  “How do you want me to fuck you?”

Blaine doesn’t think twice as he plants his feet on the mattress and grabs Sebastian by the shoulders, rolling them over until Sebastian is spread out on his back underneath Blaine.

“Off,” Sebastian commands, grabbing onto Blaine’s ass before tugging at his waistband.  Blaine moves with Sebastian’s hands, letting Sebastian push and pull until Blaine’s’ underwear joins the rest of the clothing on the floor.

“Like this,” Blaine says, settling over Sebastian’s hips and thighs so that Sebastian’s cock is pressed against the bottom of Blaine’s ass.  Blaine sighs and drops his weight down, until Sebastian is a constant press right where Blaine wants him, a promise of what’s to come.  Even though it’s not enough, not nearly enough of what he really wants, Blaine stays where he is, enjoying the feeling of Sebastian’s hands wrapped tightly around his waist.

Sebastian plants his feet on the bed and arches his hips up, his cock a tease as it rubs against him.  It makes Blaine snap, and he reaches over to his bedside drawer, keeping his and Sebastian’s legs tangled together.  He searches through books and pieces of paper until he finds what he’s looking for, his fist tightening around the bottle of lube.

Blaine settles back over Sebastian and takes a moment to stare down, to catch his breath, and to just look at the boy underneath him.  Sebastian is long and lean, trim muscle and light skin.  His hair falls against his forehead, a few of the longer strands getting caught over his eyebrows.  He looks delicious—there’s no other word for it.  His thumbs stroke over the bones of Blaine’s hips, constant circles against his skin, and Blaine tries not to notice the look that Sebastian gives him—one that makes goosebumps break out along Blaine’s neck and makes him wonder, in the very far corner of his mind, if what they’re doing is more than just a hookup.

Blaine shakes his head to clear his thoughts and looks away from Sebastian’s face, focusing on popping open the lid in his hand and spreading the cool liquid on his fingers.  He’s unsure how intimate Sebastian gets with one night stands and the last thing Blaine wants is for this to get awkward.

He starts with two fingers, wants Sebastian inside of him as quickly as possible, contorting his arm behind his back and down, until the tips of his fingers are pressing against his hole and then pushing inside.  The angle is awkward, he’s never fingered himself in this position before, but it still feels good, being stretched open, even if he can’t touch himself like he normally would.

He has two fingers fully inside, pressing and opening, when he feels Sebastian stretch off of the bed, reaching around and grabbing at Blaine’s wrist.

“Fuck, Blaine,” Sebastian says, his hand a tight bracelet around Blaine’s wrist until Blaine gets the hint and removes his fingers.  “Let me do it.”

Blaine moans, loud and long, spreading his legs wider at the first press of Sebastian’s fingers.  They slide in easily and Blaine listens for the hitch in Sebastian’s breath, the sound that he’s slowly becoming addicted to.  It feels so much better with Sebastian doing this, his long fingers angling just right, sliding in and out and filling Blaine up better than he could do on his own.

“You feel…” Sebastian says, his voice filled with heat and awe, but he trails off and Blaine’s unsure if Sebastian even knows he’s speaking out loud. Sebastian’s eyes are trained between Blaine’s legs, where his hand disappears between their bodies.

Soon Blaine is rocking back onto Sebastian’s fingers, babbling and begging for him to add a third.  Sebastian is bordering on clumsy as he pours more lube onto his fingers and Blaine can’t help but wonder if he’s this anxious with all of his hookups.

When he pushes a third finger inside, Blaine’s knees buckle and he falls forward, his hands landing on Sebastian’s chest as he tries to keep himself upright.  It’s been so long since he’s done this, since he’s had this done to him, and he’s slowly losing his mind at the way Sebastian’s fingers move inside him.  There’s no pain, just a complete fullness that Blaine has been missing, and when Sebastian turns his fingers just right, there’s a promise of more.

“Okay, okay,” Blaine says hurriedly, ready and so willing.  He groans as Sebastian slowly removes his fingers and swings his legs off Sebastian’s thighs when Sebastian taps his hips.  He watches as Sebastian rolls over onto his side, the muscles of his back moving and shifting as he looks for his pants on the floor.  Blaine leans forward and places a kiss in between the space of Sebastian’s shoulder blades, Sebastian tensing up for just a moment before relaxing.

Sebastian is rolling over onto his back as quickly as he left, settling back into the pillows, condom in hand.  He rips the condom open and starts unrolling it without a second thought, tossing the wrapper and covering his dick with lube.  Blaine watches, heat and excitement gnawing at his stomach, waiting until Sebastian tosses the lube to the side and crooks a finger at Blaine, beckoning him closer and grinning the entire time.

Blaine quickly moves up Sebastian’s legs and drops down over his hips, his knees sliding apart as he fits his body perfectly against Sebastian’s.  He holds Sebastian’s cock tightly in his hand and slowly, slowly sinks down.

It feels like too much at first, like it always does, but soon his body is opening as he falls further and further down.  He lets go of Sebastian’s dick and reaches back, gripping his fingers onto Sebastian’s bent knees.  He rests for a moment once he’s completely filled, lets his body get used to the feeling that he’s been missing for months.

“Blaine,” Sebastian says, his voice choked, his hands gripping Blaine’s thighs. He jerks his hips up and Blaine moans. “I knew you’d be so fucking good.”

Blaine feels his chest swell and he tells himself it’s with pride.  He’s not a let-down for Sebastian, not a disappointment.  He rises up a few inches and drops back down, moving his hips in small circles as he goes.  Sebastian thrusts up and they almost instantly find a rhythm together.  Blaine tries not to think about how it’s never been this easy for him, how they’ve been fucking for barely five minutes and this is already the best Blaine’s ever had.

It’s how Sebastian moves his hips, the way his nails scratch against Blaine’s skin, the way he already knows how Blaine likes him to stay inside for just a second too long before pulling back out.  The way his voice sounds, scratchy and deep, the perfect pitch as Blaine’s name rolls off his tongue.  He fucks Blaine like he’s not thinking of anything else, like there’s nowhere he’d rather be.

“Did you think about it too?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine’s not sure when his eyes closed, but he opens them as Sebastian’s voice catches in his ears.  “Did you think about me fucking you?”

Blaine could lie, could say no.  But he finds himself not wanting to lie to Sebastian about this, about anything.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice shaky as Sebastian quickens his thrusts.  Blaine moves faster to keep up, rising and falling in perfect time with Sebastian.  “Yeah, of course I did.”

Sebastian groans and digs his fingers harder into the muscles of Blaine’s thighs.

There’s sweat dripping down the back of Blaine’s neck, a burn in his thighs that he loves and craves.  His muscles are starting to get sore, but he wants more, wants Sebastian to push him over the edge.  He moves quicker, rocking up and down, his body meeting the sharp, precise thrusts from Sebastian.  It’s almost unforgiving, the way Sebastian moves inside of him, hard and exactly right, exactly the way Blaine wants it. But there’s something more there, the way Sebastian looks at Blaine, the way his hands are now cradling Blaine’s hips, and it makes Blaine’s breath catch in his throat.

He’s so fucking close, walking on a tight rope all night that’s about to snap.  He fucks down quicker, harder, urging Sebastian to do the same.  He finally lets go of Sebastian’s thighs, his fingers cramped after digging into the hard muscles, and wraps his fist around his dick.  He’s not going to last, he was never going to, not with the way Sebastian is touching him, looking at him, saying his name.

“Come on,” Sebastian urges, his voice almost pleading, his eyes stuck watching where Blaine fucks his hand.  “Blaine, come on.”

The tightrope snaps and Blaine falls, his back bending forward as pleasure shoots up his spine.  He loses himself for a while, drifting as Sebastian’s groans grow louder beneath him.  He doesn’t know how long he stays like that, only opening his eyes when Sebastian stills and begins to rub his palm across Blaine’s lower back.

“Hey, you with me?” Sebastian asks, gently tugging on Blaine’s hips until Blaine gets the hint, groaning as he rises up on his sore legs and off of Sebastian.  He falls down onto the bed next to him, his limbs heavy but completely content.

The bed dips as Sebastian rolls off and Blaine blinks through blurry vision to see Sebastian picking up his clothes from the floor, wiping off his stomach, and tossing the condom into the trash.  He watches as Sebastian dresses, pulling on his jeans and buttoning up his shirt.

“You have my number still?” Sebastian asks as he pats his pockets, checking to make sure he has his wallet.

“Yeah, I think so.” Blaine doesn’t tell him that he memorized his number months ago, when he deleted it out of his phone to make someone else happy, but never erasing it from his memory.

“Give me a call if you want to do this again.  It was fun,” Sebastian says easily, no hint of embarrassment and Blaine thinks he must be used to this part by now.

“Do you need me to walk you out?” Blaine asks, although he’s unsure his legs will actually work long enough to walk with Sebastian to the front door.

“No thanks,” Sebastian laughs, tossing his keys from hand to hand, his grin wide and his showing teeth.  “I think I can find my way out.”

“Okay.  See you, Sebastian,” Blaine says, rolling onto his side to get more comfortable.

The last thing Blaine remembers before he drifts off is Sebastian’s smooth voice and the sound of the door shutting behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine looks forward to Friday all week—since he opens his eyes Saturday morning, his body sore and tired and completely content.

He counts down the days; watching the minutes tick by during class, finishing his homework on autopilot, the words and numbers barely registering.  He rehearses for glee with Sam and Artie after school and trips over his feet while he thinks about how many hours until his house is empty, until his parents leave for dinner and drinks and a movie on Friday night.

He spends all week pressing his fingers into the bruises covering his thighs; when he showers, when he gets dressed, through his jeans while he’s sitting in class, the small purple marks a perfect match to Sebastian’s finger tips.

He gets texts throughout the week; Sam’s excited ramblings about the newest _Avengers_ movie and Tina asking for advice on buying bright flats or black platforms.  He doesn’t hear from Sebastian at all and it doesn’t bother him, not really.  They haven’t spoken in so long and he hadn’t expected their friendship to pick right back up again after a night of sex.  Not hearing from Sebastian doesn’t surprise him.  What does surprise him is that he doesn’t get his hopes up, not once, that one of the texts is from Kurt.

\--

It’s not as crowded as it was the weekend before, Blaine notices as he slips his fake ID back into his wallet.  The bouncer grins at him and shakes his head as Blaine makes his way passed, shoulder hugging the wall as his eyes scan the crowd.  He tells himself he’s not looking for Sebastian, not specifically, but he can’t help the sinking feeling that starts in his chest and settles in his stomach when he doesn’t see a tall, lean body and light brown hair dancing in the crowd of people.

He stands with his back against the wall of the outskirts on the bar, kicking his foot up so the bottom of his shoe rests against the wall.  Most of the men on the floor are paired up, dancing with their bodies close together, and the flashbacks come hard and quick; Sebastian’s hands skimming against Blaine’s back, Sebastian’s thigh nudged in between Blaine’s legs, their lips pressed together.  Blaine feels heat creep up under his collar and he shakes his head to clear his thoughts.  He doesn’t need Sebastian here to have a good time and enjoy himself.  There are plenty of guys here tonight for Blaine to flirt and dance with—and maybe more.

Blaine spots a cute boy at the jukebox.  He’s on the short side, maybe an inch shorter than Blaine, and Blaine can’t help but think how they would stand eye to eye while they danced, how his cheek wouldn’t rest against the warm skin on the boy’s neck.  He’s got a nice smile, though, and the muscles of his arms flex as he flips through the selections on the jukebox.  He’ll be easy enough, Blaine decides, and he slips his hands in his pockets as he pushes off of the wall.

“Going so soon?”  a voice asks behind him and there’s a sudden warm pressure catching him by the elbow.  Blaine knows the voice, of course he does, and he lets himself be pulled to a stop.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, turning around to face him.  He looks even better than last time; his jeans tighter, his shirt clinging across his chest and arms.  Blaine wonders if Sebastian dressed like this on purpose, if he had Blaine on his mind as he picked out his clothes.  The thought makes Blaine dig his teeth into the inside of his cheek, holding himself back from asking Sebastian back to his house immediately.  Instead he plays it cool, casually shrugging his arm out of Sebastian’s hand.  “Having fun?”

“I am now,” Sebastian replies easily.  He takes a step forward, until there’s only a sliver of space between them.  “Want to dance?”

Blaine nods and Sebastian reaches for his hand, guiding them through the small crowd of people and onto the dance floor.  There’s plenty of room around them, but Sebastian still moves his arm around Blaine’s body until it’s resting on his back, pulling Blaine closer until they’re crowded together.  They’re close enough that Blaine can smell Sebastian’s cologne and there’s something already familiar about it, the scent making Blaine shiver as he remembers the way it smelled concentrated in the dip of Sebastian’s neck.

They rock to the beat of the music, their bodies finding the rhythm easily as it pulses through their chests.  Blaine lets his arms hang loosely around Sebastian’s waist as they dance through one song and then the next, their hips rocking together in a give-and-take movement.  The music is loud, too loud to speak with their mouths so far apart.  So Blaine rocks back with the beat and then up onto his toes, reaching up to find what is quickly becoming his favorite spot—the curve of Sebastian’s neck where his jaw disappears behind his ear—and pressing his lips to the skin.

“How was your week?” Blaine asks, mostly because it’s the polite thing to do.  After he says it, he realizes how out of place it seems, asking Sebastian such a simple question while their bodies are pressed together—Sebastian’s knee sneaking in between Blaine’s thighs—but they haven’t spoken since they started dancing.

Sebastian pulls back from Blaine just enough to throw his head back in laughter, his feet never losing the beat of the music.  Blaine casts his eyes to the floor as Sebastian laughs, his shoulders shaking and his hands moving just slightly against Blaine’s back.  He leans back in, so, so close, right up against Blaine’s ear.

“Are you trying to turn us into friends?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine can hear the smirk in his voice.

“We used to be friends, didn’t we?” Blaine asks, just loud enough over the music for Sebastian to hear.  They were, they both know it.  When they would spend hours on the phone together, trading stories about Dalton and the Warblers, until Blaine’s phone beeped with an incoming call and he was forced to hang up.  When Blaine had to make a choice, _“me or him, Blaine”,_ as unfair as it was.

It’s only then that Blaine notices that they’ve stopped dancing, their feet barely shuffling on the floor.  Their arms are still wrapped around each other, but Sebastian is looking questioningly at Blaine, the barest hint of a frown on his lips.  Blaine tries to backtrack quickly, to get them back to how they were before, grinding hips and wondering hands.

“Besides,” Blaine says, dipping his hips along with the music, coaxing Sebastian back into dancing.  “Isn’t the term ‘friends with benefits’?”

Sebastian doesn’t say anything for a beat and Blaine can feel his pulse pounding.

But then Sebastian’s lips turn up and the awkwardness disappears.  “I’ve always preferred ‘fuck buddies’,” he replies, his thigh finding its way back between Blaine’s legs.  Blaine lets out a sigh of relief that Sebastian doesn’t hear.

“So?” Blaine prompts, leaning closer to speak against curve of Sebastian’s neck.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow as if to say, _“are we really doing this?”_ before taking a breath.  “You just want to hear about the Warblers,” he says, the vibrations from his voice skimming along Blaine’s skin, and Blaine shrugs his shoulders.  “You miss us.”

“Some more than others,” Blaine mumbles, even though he’s confident Sebastian doesn’t hear him.

They talk as they dance, their conversation consisting of lips against heated skin.  The way Sebastian moves against him makes Blaine flush, from his cheeks down to his neck, and he’s glad for the dark lighting in the bar.  He hears about a new Warbler, unable to catch his name over the loud music, picking up details here and there about military school and an evil white cat.  Blaine’s not sure if he mishears him or not, but he finds that as long as Sebastian is slotting their hips together, he doesn’t really care.

“Do you want to grab a drink?” Sebastian asks, his moving his hips in small circles.

“No,” Blaine says.  He doesn’t want to wait for the alcohol to wear off so he can drive home, doesn’t want anything making his head cloudy tonight.  He wants Sebastian again, wants him in his bed, but there’s still a hint of lingering doubt swirling around in his head—just enough to not ask for what he wants.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sebastian asks and Blaine would be jealous at how easy it is for him to say what he wants, but Blaine’s eyes are already searching for the glowing red exit sign.  It’s quicker than it was the week before, Sebastian confident and Blaine quick to follow.

Sebastian tugs his head to the side, motioning towards the door.  Blaine nods his head quickly and Sebastian grips tightly onto his hips one last time before letting go.  He turns and Blaine can’t help but stare; he knows what the slope of Sebastian’s shoulders feel like under his fingers, knows how hard he can dig into the muscles of Sebastian’s back before he gasps.  It’s dizzying, the way the _want_ surges through him as they pass by pairs of men.  He feels as though he has tunnel vision, the edges of his sight blurred down until all he can focus on is making it out of the door.

They sweep past the bouncer, not touching, but Blaine so close behind that he can see the muscles move under Sebastian’s shirt as he presses the heavy door open.  They walk outside quickly and Blaine jams his hands into the pocket of his sweater as the chilly air travels down his body.

Sebastian is parked across the lot from Blaine, he can see the street lights bouncing off the shiny black car, but Sebastian doesn’t go over.  Instead, he slows his steps until he falls a few paces behind Blaine, following him until Blaine is standing in front of his own car.

“You know,” Sebastian says, crowding closer to Blaine, his voice a low murmur as he presses Blaine back against the car.  The glass and metal are cool against Blaine’s back and he blames that on the sudden goose bumps that break out across his skin.  Sebastian leans in closer, until Blaine can feel the warm puff of his breath on his cold skin.  “We were in such a hurry, I didn’t even get a chance to do this.”

Blaine’s ready for it when Sebastian leans down and presses their lips together, but it still makes a small gasp catch in the back of his throat, his mouth parting before their lips actually touch.  Sebastian’s lips are warm against his own, such a difference from the cool air around them, and Blaine automatically moves up, closer, soaking in Sebastian’s body heat.  The warmth starts in his cheeks, traveling down his body as Sebastian takes a step closer, Blaine’s legs sliding apart to give him more room to move in.

Sebastian has one hand pressed against the car, the other wandering Blaine’s body; skimming over his shoulder, catching an elbow, resting on his hip, before moving to Blaine’s chest and down, landing on his lower stomach.  Blaine feels his muscles tense up—so close to where he wants him—and he bites down gently onto Sebastian’s lip, urging Sebastian to do what he wants.

Sebastian’s groan vibrates against Blaine’s lips and he pulls back from the kiss, licking at his lips, his eyelids heavy as he breathes deeply.  He watches Blaine for a moment and it causes the hairs on the back of Blaine’s neck to stand on end, just imagining what’s running through Sebastian’s mind.

“I can’t wait to fuck you tonight,” Sebastian says and then he finally, finally moves his hand lower, passed the waist of Blaine’s jeans until he’s right over Blaine’s cock.  Blaine is already hard, has been since Sebastian’s hands were all over him on the dance floor, and his pushes his hips off the car and into Sebastian’s flat palm.  His head falls back, thumping against the side of the car, his eyes sliding shut as Sebastian starts to rub at him through the layer of his jeans.  The feeling is dulled and only a hint of what Blaine knows is coming, but it’s still enough for him to bite down on his lip to hush his cries that are threatening to spill out.

“It’s so hot how badly you want it,” Sebastian continues, his voice low and right against Blaine’s ear, adding more and more pressure until Blaine’s knees are shaking.  Blaine doesn’t know if he should be embarrassed by how easily Sebastian can coax moans and whines from him, how only his hand already has Blaine writhing against the car—but he doesn’t care.  It feels so good already, and there’s a voice in the back of his head reminding him how much better it’s going to get.

“Sebastian,” Blaine groans, unable to stop himself, louder than he should while they’re still outside.  Blaine needs more—now —and it takes all of his strength to lift his head up off the car and ask, “Can we please go back to my place?”

Sebastian’s hand pauses, just holds a firm pressure, and he chuckles against Blaine’s cheek.  “Of course,” he says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Blaine’s jaw.  “You’re driving.”

Blaine misses the warmth of Sebastian’s body against his the second Sebastian pulls away, dropping a wink as he walks around to the passenger door.  Blaine’s a little surprised, had expected they would take two cars like the week before, but he doesn’t say anything as he gathers himself and sits down in the car, leaning over to unlock Sebastian’s door.  Sebastian slides in, smooth and graceful, looking over at Blaine.  “Let’s go.”

Blaine nods, starting the car and gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to focus some of his energy.  He’s wound tight, excitement and arousal buzzing through him.  He keeps his eyes on the road as he drives out of the parking lot, not once flicking them over to peek at Sebastian, so it’s a complete surprise when he feels fingers plucking at the button of his pants and tugging on his zipper.  Blaine jumps, jerking forward against his seatbelt, completely startled.  He whips his head to the side and is met with Sebastian’s sly grin.

“What?” Sebastian asks innocently as he slides his fingers through a layer of fabric, until his fingers are wrapping around Blaine’s dick over his briefs.  Blaine sputters out a surprised cough and Sebastian only laughs.  “Aren’t you supposed to be driving?”

Blaine drags his eyes away from Sebastian and back to the road, short breaths coming in quick puffs as he tries to concentrate on driving.  He can’t, though, and it’s useless to try, not when Sebastian drags his fist up and down Blaine’s cock slowly, the sensation not at all dulled by the thin layer of Blaine’s underwear that separates their skin.

“Eyes on the road, Blaine,” is the only warning Sebastian offers before he’s stretching out, his long body turning sideways and bending in half.  Blaine only has a moment to wonder what Sebastian is doing before he feels warmth on his cock, Sebastian’s mouth open and his tongue pressing at Blaine through his briefs. He mouths at Blaine’s cock, breathing warm air and licking until the fabric is damp and sticking to Blaine’s skin.

“What are you doing?” Blaine says, gritting his teeth and trying to concentrate on the road.  His eyes keep threatening to close, to roll into the back of his head as Sebastian mouths at his dick, the warmth of his mouth radiating through the cotton.  Sebastian’s tongue is pressing everywhere and it’s as if there’s not a layer between them.  Sebastian’s lips catch on the head of Blaine’s cock and he sucks, bringing his free hand across his body to stroke high on Blaine’s thigh.  Blaine tightens his grip on the steering wheel and can feel when Sebastian smirks against him, the corners of his lips pulling up, his mouth never stopping as he sucks at Blaine’s dick.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Sebastian says, pulling away just enough to answer him.  His voice is just a bit smug, knowing exactly what he’s doing and how it’s affecting Blaine.

“You have to stop,” Blaine begs. It pains him to say it; Sebastian’s mouth on him feels good, _too_ good—good enough that his arms are shaking and his foot is slipping off of the gas pedal.  They’re so close to his house now and the last thing he wants is his car in a ditch, which is bound to happen if Sebastian keeps dragging his fingers on the inside of his thighs.

Sebastian pulls away with a teasing pout on his face.  “Well, you’re no fun,” he says, sitting back in his seat.  He reaches over and buttons Blaine’s jeans, not bothering to zip them. 

Blaine takes a deep breath to settle himself, dropping his eyes down for just a moment to where Sebastian’s hand is still resting on his lap, his fingers tracing absent minded patterns against Blaine’s inner thigh.  He can feel the warmth of Sebastian’s fingers bleeding through his clothes, excitement settling in the pit of his stomach and making him drive just a little bit faster, until they turn onto his street and pull into his driveway.

It’s a race to get out of the car.  Blaine tries to play it cool, he really does, but he can’t help the way Sebastian makes him feel, how badly he wants him.  It’s addictive; the way Sebastian’s hands settle on his hips as he tries to unlock his front door, the way he covers Blaine’s back completely as he moves closer, rubbing his dick against Blaine’s ass.  Blaine can feel how hard he is, the pressure nothing more than a tease, and Blaine fumbles with the key a few times before he gets the door open and they stumble inside.

They lose their shoes quickly, Blaine tugging off his sweater as he makes his way down the hall, Sebastian close behind.  He’s done being worried and nervous, done with feeling bad for wanting this.  He flicks on the light of his bedroom and doesn’t even think twice before grabbing Sebastian’s hand and pulling, until they’re crowded at the foot of Blaine’s bed.

“Whoa.  Someone’s in a hurry,” Sebastian says.  He may be teasing Blaine, but the look on his face gives him away; eyes dark and low, his mouth parted just a bit as he breathes quickly.

Blaine climbs onto the bed, body thrumming as he realizes he’s the one that made Sebastian look like that, so undone.  He lies back on the bed and tugs his shirt off.  “Is that a problem?”

“Fuck,” Sebastian curses, eyes sweeping down Blaine’s chest.  “Of course it’s not.”  His hands are at the bottom of his shirt in an instant, pulling it up over his head and casting it on the floor.  Blaine’s not sure if he’ll ever tire of seeing Sebastian like this, pale skin and lean muscle.  It’s delicious; the way his broad shoulders taper down to his slim waist, the cut of his hip bones, the light line of hair on his lower stomach that Blaine wants to feel with his lips.

It’s almost predatory, the way Sebastian stalks up the bed; on his hands and knees until he’s sliding up in between Blaine’s legs, his chest hovering right over Blaine’s.  Blaine arches up, needs to feel their naked skin together, but Sebastian just pulls away, smiling and teasing.

“How do you want it tonight?” he asks, an edge to his voice that Blaine’s not used to hearing.  Sebastian’s the more experienced one out of them, knows how to control himself and keep his composure while he’s in bed with another guy.  But Blaine doesn’t miss the small tremors that wrack his hands, the way his eyes goes unfocused when Blaine licks his lips.

“However you want it,” Blaine says, keeping their eyes locked together.  He wants to get a reaction out of Sebastian and he’s not disappointed; Sebastian groans, deep in the back of his throat, and he drops down immediately to kiss Blaine.

It’s hot and eager right away, mouths open and tongues licking.  Blaine moans when Sebastian moves down far enough so their chests finally press together, Sebastian’s skin feeling as if it’s on fire against Blaine’s own.  His hands are on Sebastian’s back in an instant, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.  It makes Blaine’s head spin when Sebastian licks into his mouth, moving their tongues together.  Blaine rocks his hips up, can’t stop himself, accidently biting down on Sebastian’s lip when their cocks slide together.

“Blaine, you’re fucking killing me,” Sebastian groans, pulling back and running his tongue over the spot where Blaine’s teeth had just sunken in.  Just a hint of pride swells up in Blaine’s chest and he slides his hands down Sebastian’s back until they’re resting on the waist of his pants.  Blaine tugs down and Sebastian gets the hint immediately, leaning back onto his knees and undoing the button and zipper, pulling off his pants and underwear in the same quick movement.  He reaches into the front pocket of his jeans before he discards them and pulls out a condom, tossing it up the bed and watching as it lands near Blaine’s shoulder.  Blaine takes a second to just look, to appreciate Sebastian, before he’s undoing his own pants, hips lifting off the bed so Sebastian can tug his clothes off of him completely.

They pause for a moment; Blaine laid out on the bed and Sebastian up on his knees, the only sound in the room is their labored breathing, rough breaths spilling through their lips.  Blaine moves first, hooking an ankle around Sebastian’s calf and pulling, coaxing Sebastian back up the bed.  Sebastian shakes his head as if he had been lost in the moment and then moves quickly, sliding back up the bed and grabbing onto Blaine’s hips.

“Like this,” he says, digging his fingers into Blaine’s hip and urging him to move.  “I want to fuck you like this.”

Blaine gets the hint, rolling over onto his stomach and then up to his knees and on his elbows.  The position is so blatantly sexual that a blush is creeping up the back of Blaine’s neck.  There’s no doubt that it’s hot though, that part of Blaine is incredibly turned on at the idea of being so obviously on display for Sebastian.  His arousal overpowers all if it, the hint of embarrassment etching away as Sebastian presses a hand to Blaine’s ass.

“You have no idea how long I wanted this,” Sebastian murmurs, his voice low and barely carrying to Blaine’s ears.  Blaine shakes lightly at his words, lets them sink through his skin and settle in his bones.  It’s what gets him the most about this whole thing, what makes him hard and panting and sweating before Sebastian is really even doing anything at all; the knowledge that Sebastian wants this just as badly as Blaine does, maybe even more.

Sebastian nips his teeth at the bottom of Blaine’s spine and Blaine jerks forward and then back, rocking into Sebastian’s touch.  Sebastian just chuckles and presses a quick kiss to the same spot before leaning over and blindly opening Blaine’s bedside drawer.  The intimacy of it makes something curl up deep in Blaine’s chest, watching as Sebastian is already familiar enough with his room to know where he keeps his most private things.  Sebastian’s fingers snatch the condom on his way back and Blaine settles in on his elbows, head dropping down between his shoulder blades.

“Okay?” Sebastian asks softly, running a hand lightly down Blaine’s back, over his hips, across his ass.  It’s almost sweet, as close to it as Blaine’s ever heard from Sebastian anyway, and he struggles to nod.

The cap flicks open and Blaine lets his knees spread a little farther apart, making it easier when he feels the tip of Sebastian’s finger pressing at his hole.  It’s so good right from the start and only gets better as Sebastian slides his long finger inside.  His free hand stays on Blaine’s hip, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against Blaine’s skin.

Blaine bites roughly onto his lip, trying to stay quiet.  They’ve only done this once before and Blaine doesn’t know what Sebastian likes in bed, not really.  Doesn’t know how Sebastian likes his partner to respond, how quiet or loud he should be.  But he can’t help the loud whimper that breaks through his lips when Sebastian adds a second finger.

“God Blaine, the sounds you make,” Sebastian says as he presses his fingers inside, a bit of awe edged to his voice.  “You’re so fucking perfect like this.”

And that’s what gets Blaine the most, what he’s wanted to hear for months but hasn’t.  Someone telling him he’s good, that he’s worth it.  Sebastian leaves no doubt that this is what he wants, that he wants _Blaine_ and no one else right now.

“I’m ready,” Blaine chokes out, like he can’t keep it inside anymore.  Sebastian is all around him, and Blaine can’t stop it, doesn’t want to.

Sebastian pulls away and a whine gets stuck in Blaine’s throat as he slowly inches back, until he bumps into Sebastian’s legs.  Sebastian just laughs and pets a soothing hand across the small of Blaine’s back.  “Easy, easy.  I’m getting there,” he whispers.

Blaine holds still as Sebastian moves behind him, tense only out of excitement, out of want.  He holds his breath until he feels Sebastian place a hand on his back, steadying him as he slowly pushes inside.

And then all of his breath leaves him at once, a loud burst of air pushing through his lips and turning into a groan as Sebastian moves, pressing slowly, his hand a solid pressure on Blaine’s back.  It’s right on the edge of being too much; the way Sebastian fills him up so completely, the way his hands move to grip Blaine’s hips as he rocks forward, his voice soft as he asks, “are you okay?” when Blaine’s arms start to shake.

“Yeah,” Blaine chokes out, starting to shift back, meeting Sebastian’s thrusts.  “I’m good.  It’s so good.”  He’s rambling, he knows it, but he can’t stop the words from falling out of his mouth.  But the way Sebastian’s thrusts pick up speed, how his fingers grip tighter on Blaine’s waist, it’s clear that Blaine’s words are affecting him, too.

Blaine is almost shocked when Sebastian leans forward and presses his chest to Blaine’s back, draping himself over Blaine’s body completely.  He jerks back at the unexpected contact but settles down quickly, enjoying the feeling of Sebastian covering him.  It’s overwhelming how Sebastian is touching him everywhere—along the back of Blaine’s thighs, up his spine, his breath pricking against Blaine’s neck as his hips rock against Blaine’s ass.  Sebastian stretches his arms out alongside Blaine’s, their fingers brushing together as Sebastian grinds his hips.

Blaine is already so close, and maybe he should be embarrassed about that, but he’s not at all—can’t possibly be when Sebastian is whispering bits and pieces of sentences against his ear, dirty thoughts about how Blaine feels growled into his neck, making him shiver.

“Please,” Blaine begs, although he’s not sure for what.  He just knows he needs more… something, anything—his entire is body strung up tight. Sebastian must understand what he’s pleading for because his arm moves from Blaine’s side, around his waist, and slides along his stomach until his fingers are circling Blaine’s dick.

“Is this what you want?” Sebastian asks, his voice right there, right against Blaine’s ear, as he fucks him with hard, quick thrusts.  “Is this going to make you come?”

There’s no way for Blaine to form words right now, not even if he wanted to, so he just nods his head quickly, gasping when Sebastian’s fingers tighten around him and his hand starts moving, the rhythm of his hips never faltering.

It feels like forever and no time at all before Blaine starts to come, moaning Sebastian’s name over and over, his arms threatening to give out from under him as Sebastian strokes him through the last of it. He soaks up the feeling, the last few seconds of Sebastian all over him.  He whines softly as Sebastian pulls back, removing his chest from Blaine’s back and putting his hands back on Blaine’s hips.  His thrusts are turning erratic, filth tumbling out of his mouth as he gets closer.  Blaine basks in it, loves hearing his name sandwiched between curses, and tries to commit the sound to memory.

Sebastian’s hips still as he finishes coming, but he stays inside Blaine for a few moments longer before slowly pulling out, his fingers stroking lightly at Blaine’s skin as he does.  Blaine sags down immediately, his arms loose and weak, the bed creaking as Sebastian rolls off to clean up.  Blaine stays face down, his cheek pressed into the pillows, for a few blissful seconds before rolling over onto his back and searching for Sebastian.

He finds him, bent over and looking for something on the floor.  His naked skin seems to stretch on forever, the red blush across his chest slowly fading.  Sebastian turns at the sound of Blaine moving and offers him a small but genuine smile and Blaine feels his heart lodge somewhere in his throat.  It’s a bit of intimacy; something he hasn’t really felt with Sebastian yet, something that he hasn’t had for months and misses.

Sebastian doesn’t bother putting on the clothes he was just picking through, instead crossing back over to the bed and getting on.  He lies down next to Blaine, only a few inches of space separating their bodies, and tucks his arms underneath his head as he reclines back.  Blaine lets his eyes drift shut, just enjoying the moment as he listens to Sebastian’s even breathing beside him.  He knows he has to tell Sebastian his parents will be home soon, that they have to leave and get Sebastian back to his car.  He doesn’t want this moment to be over, not yet, not when he knows he won’t be seeing Sebastian again for another week.

It’s when Blaine feels Sebastian tuck his ankle around Blaine’s that his eyes snap open, looking down the length of their bodies.  It’s the only spot where they’re touching, just two ankles wrapped together, bones and skin.  Blaine holds his breath, just watching, notices the hair on Sebastian’s legs and how his skin is just a shade paler than Blaine’s own.

“We have to go,” Blaine blurts out.  Because Sebastian doesn’t do boyfriends, commitment, monogamy, and Blaine can’t let his mind go to those places.  Sebastian jerks besides him, Blaine’s voice too loud for the quiet room.  “I mean, my parents are going to be home soon,” he pauses and takes a breath.  “So we should probably get you back to your car.”

The speed at which Sebastian rips his ankle away makes Blaine’s head spin, a blur of skin as Sebastian climbs off the bed in search of his clothes.  Blaine feels something like lead sink in his stomach and he rolls off the bed, gathering his own clothes and crossing the hall to the bathroom to get dressed and clean up.

When he gets back to his room, Sebastian is in his clothes, his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping.

“So are we going or what?” he asks, clearly impatient.  The rock in Blaine’s stomach grows as he reaches into his pocket to make sure he has his car keys.

“Yeah,” Blaine mumbles.  “Yeah, we can go.”  He’s not sure how he can make the situation better, to get it back to the moment where they were sharing Blaine’s bed, their ankles hooked together.  So he stays quiet, opening his bedroom door and leading Sebastian down the hallway.

The car ride back to Scandals is tense, Sebastian staring out the window as Blaine drives.  There’s a hundred thoughts running through Blaine’s head, but he can’t make up his mind on what he wants to say.  Nothing seems good enough, won’t get his point across about how much he enjoyed everything that happened tonight.  Sebastian’s face is blank and unreadable, his eyes flicking at the trees and telephone poles passing outside his window.

When they drive into the parking lot, Blaine pulls up besides Sebastian’s car.  Sebastian is quick to unbuckle his seat belt, his hand on the door when Blaine reaches over to stop him.  Sebastian looks down to where Blaine is gripping onto his thigh, the muscle tense beneath his fingers.

“We’re okay, right?” Blaine asks.  Because if this is the last time they do this, if he’s never going to have Sebastian like this again, he wants to know.

Sebastian doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then he grins.  Blaine wishes it was a smile instead.

“Of course we’re okay,” Sebastian says easily.  “I’d say we’re more than okay after a fuck like that.”

Blaine laughs, relief washing over him, the tension broken.  He releases his hold on Sebastian’s leg, but leans closer and Sebastian meets him in the middle, their lips pressing together.  It’s not sweet and chaste or fast and dirty; it’s just a nice kiss, their lips parting slightly before closing again and pulling away.

Sebastian opens his door, but before he gets out he turns to Blaine.  “I know you have my number,” he says, one foot out of the car.  “Use it.”

Blaine nods and Sebastian winks before stepping out, the door shutting softly behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday afternoon finds Blaine in glee practice, sitting in the choir room between Sam and Ryder, watching as Finn tries – and fails – to keep order as the girls bicker over solos.  Blaine’s not paying attention.  He knows that inevitably, Tina and Kitty will come to a decision, through no help of Finn, and that the rest of the group will have to wait it out.  He hears Sugar join in, loudly proclaiming how underused her talented voice is, and Blaine knows he has time before the girls calm down.

He lets his mind wander.  He tries to keep it to thoughts related to school; running over dates for history and formulas for calculus, but it doesn’t take long at all for his thoughts to drift somewhere else.  Back to Scandals, to his car, to his bedroom, to Sebastian’s hands and mouth all over him, building him up and breaking him down in the best way.  He feels heat crawl up his neck, threatening to peek out from the collar of his shirt and up to his cheeks, so he thinks about other things to get himself under control; the way Sebastian poked fun as Blaine hummed along to Katy Perry on the dance floor, how Sebastian swiped his thumb against Blaine’s cheek during one of their kisses, the countless number of compliments Sebastian whispered into Blaine’s ear while they danced.

He reaches into his pocket before he can think better of it, grabbing his phone and sliding his thumb across the screen.  He glances up to the front of the choir room and then opens up a message to Sebastian in his phone _.  It’s times like this I miss the Warblers._ He pockets his phone, assuming Sebastian will take a while to respond, if he does at all.  He’s shocked when he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket.

**From Sebastian:  What’s your group of underprivileged misfits up to now?**

Blaine laughs, a smile instantly on his face.  He replies quickly.  _Everything is an excuse to argue._   He keeps his phone in his hand this time and his smile widens when Sebastian replies just as quickly.

**From Sebastian:  They should just give every solo to you and be done with it.**

The compliment makes Blaine lick his lips, reading over the words a few times before responding.  _I don’t mind not having solos.  I just wish they could all agree on something_.  He feels something he can’t put a name on bubble up in his stomach as he rereads Sebastian’s text, toes bouncing anxiously on the floor.

**From Sebastian:  They’re public school morons, you can’t expect much.  But enough about them.  Tell me what you’re wearing.**

Blaine laughs so loudly that the girls stop mid-fight, glaring up to look at him.  He mouths ‘ _sorry_ ’ before slumping back in his seat to make himself smaller.  The girls go back to their fight and Blaine brings his phone out again.  _What do you think?  I’m at school._   His fingers pause and he bites his lip, debating on if he should send the next part of his text, if he should ask Sebastian what’s been on his mind all week.  He takes a shallow breath and continues.  _Will I see you on Friday?_ He holds his breath.

**From Sebastian:  At least tell me if you’re wearing underwear or not.**

And then

**From Sebastian:  Of course you will.  Wear something tight.**

Blaine keeps his laughter inside this time, but only barely.  His shoulders shake as he reads Sebastian’s text, imagines him sneaking his phone out during his own glee club practice, hiding it from the new head Warbler that he told Blaine about the week before.

“What’s up, dude?” Sam whispers, leaning over discreetly.

Blaine is startled out of his thoughts and jumps just a bit, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor.  “What do you mean?” he asks, settling down into his seat and slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Your smile is like, super huge right now,” Sam says and then motions with his eyes to the front of the room where the girls are still arguing.  “And I know it’s not because of what’s happening in here.”

Blaine flushes at getting caught and shakes his head, biting at his bottom lip to try and suppress his smile.  “It’s nothing,” he insists but Sam doesn’t seem to buy it.

“No way, dude.  I can tell something’s up,” he says, shifting his chair closer to Blaine’s.  “I haven’t seen you smile like that in,” he trails off, trying to think. “I can’t even remember the last time you smiled like that.”

He rubs this thumb over the outline of his phone through his pocket, remembers how Sebastian traced his thumb on the skin over his hipbones.  “Just looking forward to the weekend, that’s all,” he replies.

 

\--

The parking lot at Scandals is packed when Blaine pulls in, his eyes scanning the rows of cars as he searches for Sebastian’s.  He can’t see it anywhere, all of the cars looking similar in the darkness, so he finds a spot and parks his car.  He glances in his rearview mirror before heading out, his fingers plucking at his bowtie and making sure it’s straight.  His body is filled with excitement as he sprints across the pavement, weaving in between cars as he heads for the entrance doors.  He knows Sebastian’s in there somewhere, waiting for him, and his fingers shake as he pulls his ID out of his wallet.

The inside of Scandals is filled with more people than Blaine’s ever seen, but it’s different tonight.  The music isn’t as loud, pulsing techno beat, but it’s a song Blaine recognizes from one of his mom’s old records.  There’s a shoddy looking stage built off to the back, and Blaine struggles to see what’s going on through the sea of people.  Nothing seems to be happening at the moment, the dark red curtains closed, and Blaine brings his attention back to the bar.

It’s crowded, men leaning over to call out drinks to the bartender.  They all blur together and Blaine has a hard time picking out Sebastian from the large group.  He’s reaching in his pocket to pull out his phone, hoping that Sebastian can hear his text over the music, when their eyes meet.  A wide smile instantly spreads across Sebastian’s face before he schools it into something more serious, casting his eyes down for no more than a second.  When he looks back up he waves Blaine over, a short flick of his hand.  Blaine excuses himself through the sea of people, squeezing in between bodies as he makes his way over.  The closer he gets, the more clearly he can see Sebastian; the way the cuffs on his sleeves are rolled up as he leans his elbows on the bar, how his hip looks cocked out to the side and so inviting, his eyes on Blaine and no one else.  Blaine can feel his heart beat faster with each step he takes and he realizes that he may definitely be in trouble.

When Blaine finally makes his way over, he sees that the barstools are gone and that everyone is standing in front of the bar.  Sebastian has a tiny sliver of space saved for them and Blaine squeezes in, turning his body sideways in order to fit.  He’s instantly pushed up against Sebastian as the man next to him moves his elbows to order a drink and Blaine finds that he really, really doesn’t mind.

“Did you dress up for me tonight?” Sebastian asks, his fingers instantly up by Blaine’s neck.  Blaine’s breath catches as Sebastian tugs gently on his bowtie, his thumb running across the fabric.

“I—“ Blaine starts, but doesn’t finish.  He hadn’t dressed up for tonight, not specifically, but he wanted to look good for Sebastian.  He always wants to look good for him, the new worry in the back of his mind that Sebastian will find someone else to spend his Friday nights with.  He’s rethinking the bowtie now, unsure if it’s too much for just a casual hookup.

“I like it,” Sebastian says, letting his hand move from the bowtie to the side of Blaine’s neck, his fingers pressing into Blaine’s skin.  Blaine grabs onto the bar to steady himself, still not used to the way Sebastian’s touch is so quick to affect him.  Sebastian slides his fingers until they’re on the back of Blaine’s neck and then pulls him forward, closing the few inches that separate them.  Sebastian stops right before their lips touch, their eyes locked, and Blaine is the one that closes the distance completely.

Sebastian’s lips taste vaguely of tonic and something stronger and Blaine pushes his tongue into Sebastian’s mouth to chase after it.  Sebastian opens up willingly, his fingers digging into the skin on Blaine’s neck as their kiss turns just a bit sloppy and desperate after not seeing each other for an entire week.

A loud, impressed whistle comes off from the side of them and Blaine breaks away quickly, an embarrassed flush filling his cheeks as he tries to breathe evenly.  Sebastian looks pleased, licking his lips slowly before reaching over to the bar and taking a long sip from his drink.

Blaine clears his throat, his hand still gripping tightly against the bar.  “So what’s going on tonight?” he asks, motioning towards the stage.  There’s a bit of a commotion but the lights are still low and the curtains are still closed.

Sebastian shrugs his shoulders.  “I think the sign outside said something about a drag queen show,” he says, rolling his eyes.  “Which means I’m going to need about five more of these if I’m going to survive,” he says, motioning towards his glass.

Blaine smiles and calls the bartender over, ordering them each a drink.  He reaches into his wallet and pulls out some money and quickly puts it on the bar before Sebastian can stop him.  He knows this isn’t a date, of course he knows that, but he still wants to pay.  And the way Sebastian chuckles and shakes his head fondly at Blaine’s insistence is easily worth the twenty dollars.

Blaine pushes Sebastian’s drink over to him and takes a sip of his own, grimacing slightly at the strong taste.   The bar is getting more and more crowded and the two of them continue to get pushed together, until Blaine has to slide a foot in between Sebastian’s legs so he doesn’t get squashed by the guy trying to push in beside him.  Sebastian looks over Blaine’s shoulder at the drunken man shouting an order out to the bartender and smoothly brings his hand up until it’s resting on Blaine’s hip, tugging him closer.

Blaine lets out a small ‘oof’ and stumbles forward a few inches, until the man behind him is no longer pushing into his side.  Sebastian leaves his hand on Blaine’s hip and scoffs at the drunken man as he grabs his beer and stumbles away from the bar.  As soon as the man leaves, some free space opens up behind Blaine, but he doesn’t want to move.  It doesn’t seem like Sebastian wants him to move, either, his hand settling on the small of Blaine’s back and staying there.

“So should we take bets on who’s going to have the worst outfit?” Sebastian asks, smiling around the lip of his glass before swallowing.  Blaine lets himself relax further in Sebastian’s arms, slumping down a bit and letting Sebastian tower over him.

“Someone will over-do Gaga.  It’s inevitable,” Blaine says, rolling his eyes.  “Some terrible silver body suit or something equally horrendous.”

Sebastian throws his head back and laughs, his teeth showing and his body shaking with movement.  They’re so close now that Blaine can feel the vibrations running through him, up his arms and down his spine.  He loves the way Sebastian sounds when he laughs, when he’s far from composed and lets himself go, loves it even more when he’s the one who causes it.

“What’s so funny?” Blaine asks as Sebastian finally pulls his head back.  He’s still shaking his head, crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes.

“I’ve just never heard a mean word come out of your mouth before,” Sebastian explains.  “It’s refreshing.”

Blaine ducks his head, a little flustered and a small smile on his lips.  He turns to grab his drink, the sound of Sebastian’s laughter still ringing in his ears, when he feels Sebastian’s hand slip from the small of his back to down over his ass.  His drink sloshes around in his glass, a bit of the liquid falling out and onto the bar as he jerks in surprise.

“Sebastian,” Blaine hisses as Sebastian’s hand slips down into one of Blaine’s back pockets, his fingers digging in.  “What are you doing?”

“Hmm,” Sebastian hums.  “I think you know exactly what I’m doing.” He pauses to lean forward and whisper into Blaine’s ear.  “And I think you like it.”

There’s no denying how much Blaine has missed Sebastian’s hands on him, how Sebastian makes his head spin and his knees weak.  Of course he likes it; being with someone who wants him, who’s not afraid to touch him when there are other people around, even if they can’t see exactly what Sebastian’s hands are doing.  His body responds immediately, his hands reaching out and rubbing across Sebastian’s lower stomach.  It’s quickly becoming one of Blaine’s favorite spots, loving how he can feel Sebastian’s muscles tighten and relax under his touch.

The lights turn down, signaling the start of the show, and Blaine couldn’t care less.  Everything is darker and covered in shadows and it makes Blaine a little braver, lose a little more of his inhibitions.  It’s been a wee— a fucking _week_ —since he’s seen or touched or kissed Sebastian.  It makes his chest squeeze tight in a way he doesn’t want to think about, instead focusing on the way his palms lay flat on Sebastian’s stomach and how he can feel his shallow breathing.

The people around them disappear.  A deep voice introduces the people on stage but Blaine isn’t paying attention.  Sebastian’s hand is gripping his ass, his other hand traveling up Blaine’s chest until his fingers are dipping under the collar of Blaine’s shirt, rubbing the skin behind his bowtie.

“You always look so fucking proper,” Sebastian says, his voice just loud enough for Blaine to hear it.  Blaine swallows hard, Sebastian’s words lighting a fire underneath his skin.  Sebastian moves his hand from Blaine’s neck to the back of his head, threading his fingers through Blaine’s hair and pulling.  “Can’t wait to get you all messy,” he says, almost a growl.  He moves his hands possessively over Blaine’s ass, dragging him even closer.

Blaine’s hands are trapped between them, still pressed against Sebastian’s stomach.  He glances around and sees that no one is paying attention them—instead, the crowd is focusing on the show happening on stage.  It makes something burn low in Blaine’s stomach, knowing that anyone could look over and see the way they’re touching.  He’s never gotten off on this before, but then again, he’s never had the chance to experience it.

“You’d let me fuck you right on this bar, wouldn’t you.” It should be a question, but it’s not the way Sebastian says it.

“ _Yes_ ,” Blaine says, his throat suddenly dry, his mouth dropping open in shock at his own admission.  He’s never felt like this before, not ever—like he can’t catch his breath, like his entire body is straining towards Sebastian, as if he can’t get enough.  “Can we go back to your place?” Blaine begs.  “ _Please_.”

Sebastian groans, dropping his head down into the crook of Blaine’s neck.  “We can’t,” he says as if the words physically pain him to speak.  “My roommate has the flu.  He’s stuck in our room all weekend,” he explains.  “And besides,” he continues, his face still tucked into Blaine’s neck.  “Your house is closer.”

“My parents didn’t go out tonight,” Blaine says, feeling his heart sink.  He didn’t even think to mention it to Sebastian, assuming that his dorm room would be free.  His mind races to think of other places they can go, _anywhere_ where they can be alone.

“How big is the back seat of your car?” Sebastian asks and Blaine quickly shakes his head no.  He doesn’t want old memories hanging over his head while he’s making new ones with Sebastian.  Sebastian groans in frustration, his teeth nipping at Blaine’s neck.

“Where else can we go?” Blaine asks, completely and utterly desperate.   He drags his fingers down a few inches, leaving Sebastian’s stomach and tugging at his belt.  It’s like his hands are disconnected from his body, as if he has no control over them as he pulls the buckle on Sebastian’s belt open.

“ _Blaine_ ,” Sebastian says, reaching to pull Blaine’s hands away, his long fingers wrapping tightly around Blaine’s wrists.  “Okay, okay.  Fuck.”  Sebastian takes a deep breath and then his hands are back at Blaine’s bowtie, tugging on the fabric and hauling him up for a kiss.  Their mouths are open before their lips even touch, both ready and willing and so, so desperate for more.  Sebastian slides his tongue into Blaine’s mouth and Blaine whines, his body absolutely wrecked as Sebastian takes him apart.

Sebastian pulls away and Blaine tries to follow, up on his toes as he chases after Sebastian’s lips.  Sebastian shakes his head and reaches down for Blaine’s hands, threading their fingers together.  It catches Blaine completely off guard, the way Sebastian’s hand fits so perfectly in his.  He hadn’t expected this, and he looks down to stare at their fingers locked together.

“Come on,” Sebastian urges strongly, pulling on Blaine’s arm, and the moment is broken.

 Blaine follows as Sebastian leads him through the crowd, never letting go of Blaine’s hand as they weave through.  Sebastian turns and twists to fit through the bodies on the dance floor, pulling Blaine through the darkness.  Blaine is clueless as they move farther away from the door leading outside.  He has no idea where Sebastian could possibly be leading him, as they turn a corner and head down a dark hallway.  There’s barely any light filtering back and Blaine stumbles over his feet as he tries to keep up.

They push through a door and Blaine quickly realizes they’re in a bathroom, three stalls and one sink.  He barely has time to catch his reflection in the mirror, just a quick glimpse of his bitten-red lips and crooked bowtie, before Sebastian is yanking open a door and crowding them inside a stall.  He turns them around and slams the lock shut, pressing Blaine back against the door so hard that the walls shake.

Sebastian starts on his neck immediately while his hands pin Blaine’s hips to the door.  He’s rougher than he has been so far; his teeth biting in just a little too sharply, his fingers digging too hard into the bones of Blaine’s hips.  It should hurt, should make him shake Sebastian off, but instead it just makes his stomach twist up tighter.  It’s Sebastian’s obvious desperation that makes Blaine shake, each too-hard bite against his neck sending a sharp flash of intensity down his spine.

Sebastian’s hands leave Blaine’s hips and quickly move up his chest, fighting with the bowtie knotted around his neck.  Blaine has never seen Sebastian as anything other than calm and collected while they’ve been together, so it makes him stop and notice when Sebastian has trouble untying the bow, a loud, frustrated growl leaving his mouth when his fingers won’t cooperate.

“Here, let me,” Blaine says, pulling at the material until it falls loosely around his neck.  Sebastian lets out a pleased hum and immediately flicks the top button high on Blaine’s collar open, spreading the fabric and licking against the dip of Blaine’s neck.  It’s one of his sensitive spots, makes his eyes roll back and his head thump against the door, and he grabs onto Sebastian’s hips to steady himself, wondering if Sebastian remembers how much it affects him as he drags his teeth across the skin.

The fingers on his neck are suddenly gone, moving lower until Blaine can feel when Sebastian starts on the button of his jeans.  Sebastian fumbles for just a second, quickly recovering as he yanks down the zipper, Blaine’s pants resting loosely on his hips.  There’s nothing slow and cautious about the way Sebastian moves, not pausing at all as he pulls Blaine’s pants and underwear until they’re caught around his knees.

“I don’t ever do this with just hookups,” Sebastian says, mouth moving against Blaine’s neck.  “It’s not safe.”  He pauses and then mumbles, “but it’s you,” although it’s said so softly that Blaine’s not sure it was said at all.

“Oh,” Blaine says, Sebastian’s words taking him out of the moment just a bit.  “That’s okay.”  He tries not to get too disappointed, backing up against the door as far as he can to put some space between them.  The last thing he wants to do is make Sebastian uncomfortable enough to he rethink this whole thing.  “I don’t have a condom, I thought you would.  We don’t have to, it’s fine.  We can just—“

Sebastian cuts him off with a hard kiss, closing the few inches of space Blaine had put between them.   “That’s not what I meant.”  It’s the only explanation he offers before dropping to his knees and taking Blaine’s cock into his mouth.

Blaine’s arms fly out, his palms pressing flat on each of the walls beside him.  Sebastian mouth is like a shock to his system, warm and wet, his lips tight as he slides up on Blaine’s cock.  Blaine forces himself to keep his eyes open, to drop his head down and _watch_ ; Sebastian’s knees pressed against the filthy floor, his hands wrapped around high on Blaine’s thighs, his hair falling loose and dropping into the corner of his eyes, his mouth stretched open and wide.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, holding onto his name as long as he can before it turns into nothing more than a messy groan.  He still gets a thrill out of moaning Sebastian’s name, not having to censor himself or worry about what words might slip out of his mouth as he loses more and more of his control.

Sebastian moves quickly, no hint of teasing as he works his mouth over Blaine’s dick.  Blaine’s nails scratch down the graffiti covered walls when Sebastian’s tongue presses hard against the underside of his cock, dragging it up and swiping over the head.  It’s a little sloppy, just the way Blaine likes it, Sebastian’s mouth flooded with spit as Blaine rocks forward.  It feels too mind numbingly good to keep his hips completely still, so he keeps his thrusts small and shallow as he fucks his cock inside of Sebastian’s mouth.  Sebastian swallows down around him, lets his jaw slide open a little bit more to accommodate Blaine’s thrusts.

“Yeah, yeah.  Like that.  Please, like that,” Blaine rambles.  He tries to keep quiet, the fear of someone walking in prickling up his neck, but his jaw hurts from biting down so hard to keep his mouth shut.  It feels so _good,_ and he wants to tell Sebastian how much he’s enjoying this, how amazing it feels and how he never wants it to end.

Sebastian groans around Blaine’s dick at his words, dragging his hand away from Blaine’s thigh to wrap it around the base of Blaine’s cock.  Blaine’s knees almost buckle under the added pressure, Sebastian’s fist a tight circle around him, stroking him where his mouth can’t reach.  It’s devastating, there’s really no other way for Blaine to describe it, his senses completely overloaded as Sebastian uses his mouth to turn Blaine inside out.  He slides his hand off the dirty wall and presses it to Sebastian’s shoulder, pushing until Sebastian gets the hint and pulls off.  Sebastian is off of his knees immediately, rising to his feet and crowding next to Blaine, his hand still stroking over Blaine’s cock.

“You’re going to come, aren’t you?” Sebastian whispers against Blaine’s ear and Blaine can only nod helplessly.  He’s proud of himself for lasting this long, for being able to watch Sebastian down on his knees, his mouth wrapped tightly around Blaine’s cock, and not come immediately.

He throws an arm around Sebastian’s shoulder and pulls him in tighter, until their breath mixes as Blaine pants against Sebastian’s mouth.  Sebastian’s hand moves quickly over him, jerking his wrist and flattening his palm.  Blaine finally lets his eyes snap shut, unable to keep them open any longer, as he starts to come, his fingers digging into the muscles of Sebastian’s shoulder to keep himself upright.  It hits him hard, so much harder than he expected; the way they’re pressed so tightly together, how he can feel Sebastian’s breath all over him, how he can turn his head and drown out his shouts into the warmth of Sebastian’s neck.

Blaine slumps back against the door, his arm still clinging tightly around Sebastian’s shoulder.  He takes a few deep breath, tries to calm his racing heart.  He can feel Sebastian pressed all along his side, his hips just barely grinding against Blaine’s.  He opens his eyes, blinking a few times until he can see straight, and then reaches down to palm Sebastian through his jeans.

“Yeah, Blaine.  Fuck,” Sebastian mumbles, his hips jerking under Blaine’s touch, his cock pushing against Blaine’s hand.  “It won’t take long, I promise.”

Blaine undoes Sebastian’s pants blindly, not letting his eyes drop down and leave Sebastian’s face for even a second.  He slides his hands through layers of fabric until he has his fist tight around Sebastian’s cock, bringing it out of his clothes so his hand isn’t trapped inside.  He moves quickly right from the start, wanting nothing more than to see Sebastian fall apart.  He looks stunning like this; his eyelashes resting against the tops of his cheeks, his skin flushed red, his teeth digging into his lip as he moans Blaine’s name.  This might even be better than Sebastian on his knees, Blaine thinks, stroking his hand to coax intense sounds from Sebastian’s mouth, noises that Blaine has become addicted to.  They’ve never been this close before, and even though it’s only Blaine’s hand on Sebastian’s dick, it feels more intimate than any of their other times together.

“Blaine.  Missed you, missed you so much,” Sebastian mumbles unintelligibly, his voice so low that Blaine barely catches it.  Blaine jerks, Sebastian’s words hitting him square in the chest and a ringing starts in his ears, his hand coming to a stop around Sebastian’s dick.  “What?  Why’d you stop?”  Sebastian asks, his head snapping up, suddenly coherent.  He moves his hips, fucking into Blaine’s lax fist, coaxing him to start moving his hand again.  Blaine shakes his head, snaps himself out of it, and grips tightly on Sebastian’s cock.

It doesn’t take more than a minute before Sebastian is coming, panting into Blaine’s neck, his entire body shaking as he clings tightly to Blaine.  They’re still for a few moments, the sound of the music playing from inside the bar drifting through, before Sebastian gathers himself, reaching for some toilet paper and starting on clean up.  Blaine’s mind is racing, Sebastian’s words echoing in his ears, but he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if it was just something Sebastian said in the heat of the moment, if he even remembers saying it at all.

Sebastian tucks himself back into his pants and then buttons Blaine back up, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before unlocking the bathroom door.  They’re silent as they stand next to each other to wash their hands in the sink, their shoulders bumping together.  It’s not an awkward silence, not really, Blaine is just completely unsure of what to say, not wanting to blurt something out that he will regret later.  He glances at his watch and sees it’s almost eleven.

“I have to get going,” Blaine says, his words apologetic.  “Curfew.”  He wants to stay with Sebastian for as long as he can, until the sun comes up and they have to separate only for sleep.  But his parents are home this weekend and he can’t stay out late, and he’s unsure if Sebastian would even want him to.

Blaine swears he sees disappointment in Sebastian’s eyes before Sebastian clears his throat.  “Okay.  I think I’m going to stay for one more drink, make fun of a few drag queens,” he says, his voice just a little bit off to Blaine’s ears.  He opens the bathroom door for them.  “Do you want me to walk you out?”

“Sure,” Blaine says, his fingers itching to link their hands together.  Instead he keeps them balled into fists at his side, following Sebastian through the crowd of people, not even glancing up at the men onstage.

They walk outside, quickly crossing the parking lot, weaving in between cars until they’re standing in front of Blaine’s.  Blaine’s mind flashes to the week before, when Sebastian had him pressed up against his car, his hands everywhere, and Blaine fumbles as he unlocks the door.

“I’ve gotta be honest, Blaine,” Sebastian says.  “Public sex, I didn’t think you had it in you.”  The corner of his mouth is turned up in a smirk as he teases, and Blaine just dips his head down, flustered.

“I have to keep you on your toes,” he answers.  “Wouldn’t want you to get bored.”

“Trust me, I don’t think that’s possible,” Sebastian says before continuing quickly.  “Text me when you make it home, okay?”  Blaine nods and Sebastian tugs at the ends of his undone bowtie, still laying around his neck.  “See you next week?”

“Of course.”  What Blaine doesn’t say is that he’s already looking forward to it and he hasn’t even left yet.

He gets into his car and Sebastian shuts the door behind him, tapping on the window and giving him a small wave.  Blaine smiles in return and then starts his car, letting it sit idly for a few moments before pulling out.  He watches Sebastian in his rearview mirror; his hands jammed into his pockets, standing in the same spot until Blaine drives out of the parking lot and loses sight of him.

The drive home goes quickly, Blaine replaying the entire night in his head, moment by moment.  He gets home and walks through his house quietly, not wanting to wake his parents.  He changes into his pajamas and he knows he should shower, but he decides he’ll wait until tomorrow.

His crawls into bed, content in only the way he gets after he and Sebastian have been together, grabbing for his phone on the night stand.  He opens up a text to Sebastian.  _Home safe and sound.  Thanks for a fun night._ He resists adding anything else and waits for his phone to buzz with Sebastian’s answering text.

**From Sebastian:  The pleasure was all mine.  Sleep tight.**

Blaine smiles and rubs his thumb over the screen, switching his phone to silent and settling into bed.  He closes his eyes and lets his thoughts drift to next Friday and Sebastian, before falling asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine’s fingers coast over the keys on his laptop, typing different phrases into the YouTube search bar.  It’s Tuesday night, the debate is on Thursday, and Blaine wants to be prepared.  He’s watched hours of presidential speeches over the past few days, learning when to pause to take a deep breath and when to ball his hand into a fist in order to really get his point across.  Public speaking has never been hard for him – he had no problem introducing the Warblers to a crowd of people or standing up in front of the kids in glee club – but this is different.  He has to make people _like_ him, to get them to actually listen to what he has to say.  He knows his ideas are good ones and he wants to help make McKinley a better school (as unlikely as that is to happen), so he needs this speech to be perfect, needs people to care enough to put a little check mark next to his name.

He’s watching his fourth grainy black and white video of JFK, his eyes starting to ache from staring at his computer screen, when his phone rings.  His heart jumps in his throat, the same way it has been for the past week, and nothing at all like it was a few months ago.  He reaches over to look at the screen and his eyebrows pull together.

“Cooper?” Blaine asks as he answers the phone.  It’s not unheard of for his brother to call him, but it’s always a little unexpected.

“Hey baby bro,” Cooper says loudly and Blaine can hear Los Angeles traffic in the background.  “How are things at home?”  Cooper had started calling more often since the breakup, quick phone calls to check in and inevitably give Blaine updates on how his auditions were going.  The phone calls were exactly what Blaine had needed at the time, to take his mind off his heartache and to focus on Cooper’s ridiculous stories about LA, if only for a few minutes.

It’s the first time that Cooper has called that Blaine doesn’t even hesitate to answer. “Things are good.  Really good, actually.”  He can’t hide the happiness in his voice and he finds that he doesn’t want to.

“Really?” Cooper asks, his shock evident in Blaine’s ear, as if he doesn’t fully believe him.  “Why?  Did you win class president?”

Blaine’s taken aback that Cooper even remembers that he’s running.   Blaine hardly mentioned it in their last e-mail.  “No, the speeches are in a few days.”  He sighs and looks at the computer screen.  “That’s actually what I was working on when you called.”

“Say no more, squirt,” Cooper says, and Blaine doesn’t even cringe at the nickname.  “I’m here to help.  Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed in your research that pointing is the key to any political race.”  Blaine holds the phone away from his mouth and groans.  “Now, I’ve taught you the basics, so you should be okay.  But if you want to win, we’ll have to step up your game.  Can you Skype tonight?  I can try to teach you the double-point.  Once you can do that, you’ve got this thing in the bag.”

“I think I can manage, Coop,” Blaine says, a little irritated but mostly grateful to have his brother to talk to.  “How are auditions going?”

He lets Cooper ramble for a few minutes, telling him about his new job as a bike messenger and how the wife of some big time Hollywood producer opened her car door at the exact moment Cooper was riding by.  “I gave her my card.  I think this might be my shot, Blaine!”  They talk for a little while longer, until Blaine mentions that he really needs to finish up on his speech for Thursday.

“Okay, I’ll let you go,” Cooper says.  “Tell the parents I said hi.”

“I will,” Blaine promises.

There’s a pause between them before Cooper starts again.  “You seem really happy, Blaine.”

“I really am, Cooper,” Blaine says sincerely.

“You’re not going to tell me why, are you?”

Blaine doesn’t really want to explain his whole situation with Sebastian to Cooper, and he doubts that Cooper would really understand, anyway.  He’d try, he always tries, but he would inevitably just give Blaine some silly advice and then tell him how to channel his feelings for a future role.

“Maybe during our next phone call,” Blaine says.  “I’ll talk to you later, Coop.”

“Don’t forget to poin—“  Blaine hangs up, cutting Cooper off, shaking his head and laughing.  Talking to his brother always puts him in a good mood and he’s smiling when he turns back to his computer to watch the rest of the video.  He only gets a few seconds in before his phone buzzes with what Blaine assumes is a text from his brother reminding him to bleach his teeth before the debate.

**From Sebastian:  Please tell me you had Mr. Parker for history.**

It catches Blaine off guard, a text from Sebastian so early in the week, but he’s quick to reply. _I unfortunately suffered through his class my entire sophomore year.  Let me guess, you have to pick a topic for your research paper?_ The video of JFK plays in the background, but Blaine doesn’t hear it.

**From Sebastian:  Yes and he’s being a giant prick about everything.  Help me?**

Blaine pauses, rereading the words.  Sebastian has an entire school full of boys who can help him, ones who are currently taking the class with him.  Blaine knows Thad would be happy to help and that Nick loves history.  But he’s asking Blaine, who hasn’t been inside a Dalton classroom in over a year.   _Pick something interesting, not something predictable like Abraham Lincoln or The Great Depression._

**From Sebastian:  What topic did you pick?**

Blaine thinks back.  _I’m pretty sure it was the role of photography and journalism during The Civil War._

**From Sebastian:  Write my paper for me and I’ll pay you back in blowjobs.**

Blaine feels heat creep up the back of his neck and his eyes quickly glance over to the door, as if his parents are going to walk through and grab his phone from his hand.  He clears his throat.  _I have my own homework to do._

**From Sebastian:  Lame.  And we both know I’d blow you anyway.**

Blaine can’t think of anything to write back, his eyes fixated on his phone.  Heat has stretched up his neck and down to his stomach and he’s not even shocked when he feels himself getting hard at the memories from the Friday before; Sebastian on his knees, his mouth tight and warm and never stopping.

**From Sebastian:  Cat got your tongue?**

Blaine can picture the smirk that he knows is on Sebastian’s face, leaning back on his bed as he types out the texts, completely pleased with himself for getting Blaine flustered.  Blaine shakes his head and starts to respond, ignoring the heat in his stomach.  _I’m not sexting with you, Sebastian._

**From Sebastian:  Really?  You don’t want to hear about what I’d do to you if you were here right now?  How I’d have you bent over my computer desk.**

Blaine doesn’t know if there’s more to the text because he stops reading it, clicking his phone screen black and putting it face down on his bed.  He stares at the back of his phone and takes a few deep breaths through his nose to calm himself.  He can’t get worked up thinking about Sebastian when it’s only Tuesday, when Friday is still three longs days away.  The gnawing in his stomach comes earlier and earlier every week, his anxious excitement to see Sebastian starting almost as soon as he leaves.

He’s still staring as his phone when it buzzes again and he jumps at the vibration.  He debates not looking, just leaving it face down and not reading whatever Sebastian wrote.  But he can’t stop himself, not lately, and not when it comes to Sebastian.

**From Sebastian: What are you doing?**

Blaine’s eyebrows draw together.  _I told you, I’m doing my homework._

**From Sebastian: Come over.**

Blaine’s mouth drops open so quickly that his jaw actually cracks.  He rereads the words a few times, convinced that he must have made them up entirely.  But they’re there, in black and white on the screen of his phone.  Blaine is still so confused that he can only type:  _What?_

**From Sebastian: My roommate just snuck out to see his girlfriend.  He’ll be gone for a few hours.  Come over.**

Blaine debates for less than a minute before he’s opening his bedroom door and peeking down the hall.  It’s past nine o’clock and there’s no light filtering out underneath his parents’ door.  He hesitates before calling out, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight, dear.”  His mother’s voice floats down the hallway but it’s sleepy and low and Blaine can tell they’ll be asleep soon.

He goes back into his room, grabs his jacket and slips on his shoes before he can think twice.  He checks his phone again as he gets his keys from his nightstand.

**From Sebastian: Well?**

_Leaving now._ Blaine sends back.  Maybe a few weeks ago he would have stopped and thought about going over to Sebastian’s, spent time debating on if he should sneak out of his house on a school night and driving over to Dalton.  But he doesn’t even pause as he tiptoes out of his room, down the hall, and out the front door.  Even though he’s more than a little confused about what he’s feeling, his desire to see Sebastian overrides everything.  He’ll think about it later; how he’s slowly wanting to spend time with Sebastian, more than just quick fucks late at night, how his stomach fills with butterflies every time he sees Sebastian’s name pop up on his phone, how he knows, deep down in his gut, that he _misses_ Sebastian when he’s not around.  He doesn’t think of that though, not now, unlocking his door and watching to make sure his parents’ window stays dark before backing out of the driveway.

\--

The drive to Dalton is a muscle memory to Blaine, hardly needing to pay attention to the road as he drives the familiar path.  He knows it takes twenty-three minutes to get to his old school (thirty-eight with traffic and forty-four in bad weather) but tonight he makes it there in nineteen.  He pulls up to the dorms and his heart aches as he stares at the large brick buildings.  There are days when he misses Dalton so much that his insides actually hurt, the feeling of longing strong and ever-present.

He slides out of his car slowly and shuts the door quietly, careful to not make a sound.  He knows Dalton has a strict no-visitors-after-nine rule, and Blaine wonders who Sebastian bribed to look the other way.  He shoots off a quick text, _I’m here.,_ before crossing the parking lot.  It’s dark and the only lights that are on are by the lacrosse field, yards and yards away, barely making their way over to Blaine.  He doesn’t need them though.  He knows his way around Dalton better than almost anything else in his life; the twenty-two steps on the main staircase, the weight of the double doors at the front entrance and how they’re always cool under his palm, the shine of the marble floor throughout the halls.

“Blaine!” Sebastian quietly hisses in the darkness.  Blaine picks up his pace to a light jog, crossing the parking lot quickly until he meets Sebastian, who is holding the door open so Blaine can slip inside.  Sebastian presses his finger to his lips, whispering, “shhh,” as he waves Blaine over to follow him.

They creep down the hallway slowly, both of them knowing exactly which steps to take so the floorboards don’t squeak.  Blaine’s heart is in his throat; the fear of getting caught is there in the back of his mind, but mostly his body is reacting to having Sebastian so close.  He tries to notice the things around him, the paintings and the architecture and everything about Dalton that he’s missed over the past year.  He hasn’t been back since Regionals the year before, when he watched the Warblers preform Michael Jackson and he had to lie through his teeth.  He wants to take everything in, remember all the little things about this school that he’s missed, but he can’t concentrate on anything past Sebastian; pressed up along his side as he pushes the key in to his door.

Sebastian unlocks his door quietly, opening it wide enough for them both to slip through.  It’s dark in his room, a hint of light seeping in from underneath the door and through the cracks in his window shade.  Blaine doesn’t even have a chance to orientate himself to the darkness before Sebastian is on him, pushing him back and trapping him roughly against the door.

“I’m surprised you came,” Sebastian says.  His voice is low, quiet in the darkness, a small vibration against Blaine’s throat.

“No you’re not,” Blaine gasps as Sebastian scratches his teeth along the side of Blaine’s neck, following with his tongue.

Sebastian chuckles as he slides his hands up and under Blaine’s shirt, dragging his fingertips along the sensitive skin of Blaine’s stomach.  “No, you’re right.  I’m not surprised,” he says, moving back as he grabs as the bottom of Blaine’s shirt and pulls it over his head.  He’s back quickly, mouthing down the slope of Blaine’s neck before Blaine even has time to process what’s happened.  “I didn’t know if I could get you out on a school night, but I had to see you.  I couldn’t wait until Friday.”  Blaine knows that he only means for sex, but it doesn’t stop his heart from beating a little faster deep inside his chest.

Blaine is aching already, throbbing in his jeans as Sebastian works at his neck, his fingers digging patterns into the curves and dips of Blaine’s stomach and chest.  He’s no longer surprised at how quickly he gets hard when Sebastian’s hands are on him, how it doesn’t take much more than Sebastian’s open mouth or his flat palms to get Blaine’s entire body shaking.  It feels as if he can’t catch his breath, his mind blank as he lets the feeling of Sebastian’s tongue and hands wash over him.  He pulls uselessly at Sebastian’s shoulders, fisting the rough fabric of his blazer until Sebastian gets the hint and shrugs it off, letting it fall to the floor.  Blaine grabs at Sebastian’s tie, loosening it enough until he can pull it over Sebastian’s head while Sebastian rips open the first few buttons of his shirt, just enough so it can follow his tie and blazer onto the ground.

And then they’re back together, bare chest against bare chest, Sebastian’s lips hard and needy against his own.  It knocks the breath out of him, leaves him lightheaded and struggling for air as Sebastian kisses him.  Sebastian claws at Blaine’s waist, desperately fitting their hips together, and all Blaine can do is hang on.  He clings to Sebastian’s back as Sebastian grinds forward, pressing Blaine into the hard wood of the door, his hips snapping and rubbing and making Blaine see sharp flecks of color behind his eyelids.

“Love how eager you are for it,” Sebastian mumbles against Blaine’s lips, his voice low, the threat of getting caught still a real possibility.  It makes Blaine’s hips jerk, pushing off the door and closer to Sebastian, always closer.

“Sebastian,” he moans, a little too loudly when only a door separates them from the hallway outside.  He knows he needs to be quiet, knows that he can’t be heard, and that he needs to keep his desperate moans locked down inside, but he _can’t_.  Not when Sebastian is rubbing so perfectly against him, rolling his hips up and down and just right, causing Blaine’s knees to shake each time their cocks press together.  It’s dizzying, even through his jeans and Sebastian’s uniform pants, the intensity clawing its way up Blaine’s spine, making his head fall back and his jaw drop open as Sebastian licks inside his mouth.

“Bet I could get you to come in your pants, couldn’t I?”  Sebastian whispers, and Blaine has no idea how he’s still so composed when Blaine is so close to the edge, tripping towards his orgasm and completely embarrassing himself.

Blaine tries to mumble something, yes or no or maybe something else entirely, but his voice is lodged in the back of his throat, trapped there while Sebastian works against him.  He can do nothing besides hold on, fingers digging into the hard muscles of Sebastian’s back as his thrusts take Blaine closer and closer to the edge.

“St-stop,” Blaine begs, not because he wants Sebastian to still his hips, to stop rubbing hard and fast against his cock—he can’t come in his jeans and he’s so, so close to doing just that.

“Just do it,” Sebastian urges, the naked skin of his chest feeling like fire against Blaine’s.  Their breathing is heavy, labored, too loud in the quiet room.  “Blaine, come on.  I want you to.”

Blaine’s body tenses all over and then snaps, his body jerking as much as it can while Sebastian holds him steady against the door.  He bites down on the slope of Sebastian’s shoulder to keep from crying out while he comes, the taste of Sebastian’s skin on his tongue only making it more intense.

He doesn’t even have time to come down before Sebastian is pulling him from the door and dragging him over to his bed, his hands fumbling with the button and fly on Blaine’s pants.  Blaine stumbles over, tripping as his pants catch around his knees.  He falls onto the bed, his back hitting the familiar soft mattress, and Sebastian tugs his pants off the rest of the way.  Blaine is still loose-limbed from his orgasm and he moves easily, watching with heavy eyes as Sebastian strips off his own slacks and underwear.  He climbs onto his bed, crawling up Blaine’s body.

“I’m going to fuck you now, okay?”  Sebastian asks, trying to keep his voice steady, but Blaine can hear the clear desperation.

“Mmm, yeah,” Blaine replies, already rolling over onto his stomach.  He doesn’t climb onto his hands and knees, content to just lay with his head and arms resting on Sebastian’s pillow, digging his nose in and breathing deeply.  His eyes are closed and he can hear Sebastian moving behind him, a drawer sliding open and then the top of a bottle snapping.

Sebastian’s hand is a firm pressure against the small of Blaine’s back, pressing Blaine down into the mattress as he coats his fingers.  Blaine sighs, wiggling down into the bed and getting a bit more comfortable, sliding his leg open just enough for Sebastian to fit his fingers.

Sebastian starts with two and Blaine opens up easily, his body relaxed and craving Sebastian’s touch.  Blaine can tell Sebastian is barely holding himself back, can feel the how tense he is, not wanting to rush but hardly able to stop himself.

“You can do it,” Blaine says, his voice muffled by the pillow.  He picks his head up and looks back, his pulse quickening when he sees the way Sebastian looks outlined in the darkness; hair a mess, his chest heaving, his eyes locked down on Blaine’s ass.  It’s enough to make him start to harden again, rubbing against the bed as Sebastian pushes his fingers deeper inside.  “Fuck me, please.”

Sebastian’s groan is loud and bordering on painful.  It sends sparks shooting up Blaine’s spine and he buries his face deeper into Sebastian’s pillow.  He hears rustling behind him, a wrapper ripping, and then Sebastian’s large hands are on his waist, his long fingers curling around the bones of Blaine’s hips.

“You’re so fucking hot and you have no idea,” Sebastian says, his jaw locked in concentration, steadying Blaine’s hips as he slowly pushes inside.  Blaine’s skin burns at the compliment, holding it close and committing it to memory.

Sebastian is quick from the start, the bed protesting beneath them as Sebastian fucks down.  Blaine’s hips raise and push back to meet his thrusts, the pleasure changing from a slow burn to an immediate need.  It seems that it doesn’t matter that he just came, writhing and pressed up against the door; he’s already hard and gasping for breath as Sebastian fucks him, hands scratching at the sheet as he tries to hold on.  Sebastian’s hands are touching him everywhere; sliding up the length of his back, fingers catching on the knobs of his spine, grabbing onto his shoulders before dragging them down and fitting them in the notches over Blaine’s hips.  Sebastian’s fingertips leave a trail of goose bumps everywhere they touch; down the skin of Blaine’s neck, in the curve of his spine, across the planes of his back and around to his chest.

“You,” Sebastian murmurs as he bends forward, sliding his arms under Blaine’s body and wrapping them around his chest, hiking him a little further up on his knees.  Blaine listens, waiting for Sebastian to continue talking, but he just presses his cheek into the space between Blaine’s shoulder blades, breathing heavily against Blaine’s skin, and chokes out “Blaine”.

Blaine can feel Sebastian struggling to hold back, to hold on.  His arms shake where they’re wrapped tightly around Blaine’s middle, his hips a constant pressure as they grind forward.  It feels good, but it’s not enough, not when he knows Sebastian wants more.  “Come on,” Blaine urges, pushing back, taking Sebastian deeper inside.  “Don’t hold back,” he begs, moaning when Sebastian’s hips snap forward.  “I can take it.  I want it, I promise,” he babbles, trying anything to get Sebastian to move faster.

And that’s all it takes.  Sebastian snaps, unwrapping his arms from Blaine’s chest and pulling back.  Blaine misses the heat of his skin as soon as he moves away, trying his best to keep his whines deep down in his chest and not let them out through his wide open mouth.  He stops them from spilling out, but just barely, Sebastian’s thrusts picking up speed as his hands scramble for purchase on Blaine’s hips and lower back.  The pleasure is overwhelming, almost too much, as Sebastian’s quick thrusts fill him so fucking perfectly.  It should scare him, the level of how good this is—how he knows he’ll never tire of it or be done wanting more.  He wants Sebastian all the time, constantly, every moment that he’s awake and even when he’s dreaming.  He hasn’t admitted it to himself, not yet, but he can’t stop thinking it, not when his feelings are clawing at the inside of his chest so obviously that he can’t pretend anymore.

He reaches a hand down, just enough room to touch his cock, pushing the unwanted thoughts out of his head.  Instead he thinks of things that won’t get him in over his head, repeating to himself that Sebastian doesn’t want a boyfriend, nothing serious, that this is just sex to him and nothing more.  It hurts, but Blaine pushes it aside, focusing on the drag of Sebastian’s dick as he pulls back, the fullness as he pushes inside.  Blaine works his hand in fast strokes over his cock, focusing on his own need to come.  He knows Sebastian is close, has already memorized his quick puffs of air, how his hips lose their rhythm and become erratic right before he comes.

Their breathing is loud, the bed groaning beneath them and tapping against the wall as Sebastian fucks Blaine deep into the mattress.  Blaine knows they need to be quiet, knows that getting caught is a real threat, but he can’t stop.  It feels like too much—too much to keep his mouth closed and the sounds inside.

“Close,” Sebastian struggles to say, and Blaine closes his eyes and lets Sebastian’s voice wash over him.  Sebastian’s hips snap forward a final time before stilling, his fingers digging into Blaine’s waist until it borders on pain.  Blaine’s so fucking close, right there, moving his hand quickly, wanting to come with Sebastian still inside of him.

But it’s not Sebastian’s hands, or his cock, or his teeth, that sends Blaine over the edge; it’s his words, barely audible as he slowly starts to come down, his fingers loosening their grip.  “You’re the best I’ve ever had, you know.”  It’s soft and low, but it’s there, Blaine hears it, and then he falls.

Sebastian’s words echo in Blaine’s ears on a loop as they fall onto the bed together, Blaine onto his side and Sebastian curled up right beside him, throwing a protective arm around Blaine’s waist.  Blaine tries not to let his heart speed up, tries to stop his brain from overthinking as Sebastian tucks his chin over Blaine’s shoulder and throws a blanket over their legs.  Blaine doesn’t think about how Sebastian’s arm fits around him, how their breathing syncs up perfectly, how this is something that he might want all the time.  Instead he closes his eyes, and floats.

\--

He’s not sure how long he sleeps for, but he wakes to Sebastian rubbing his shoulder and whispering in his ear.  “Blaine, wake up.  My roommate is going to be back soon.”

Blaine’s body protests as he rolls onto his back, a loud groan leaving his mouth as he moves his sore muscles.  He’s exhausted, doesn’t have the energy to move, but he knows that’s not the only reason he doesn’t want to leave Sebastian’s bed.  “Give me a minute.”  Sebastian chuckles as he rolls off the bed and Blaine frowns at him.  “This is your fault, you know.”

“And I will gladly take full blame,” Sebastian teases back.  He turns on the lamp by his bedside and pulls on just his uniform pants before walking around the room to gather Blaine’s clothes.  He stops at Blaine’s jeans and makes a face.  “Well these are ruined.”

“Again, your fault,” Blaine says, sitting up and tugging on his shirt that Sebastian tosses over.

Sebastian walks over to his dresser and pulls open a drawer, digging through before he finds what he’s looking for and bringing them over to Blaine.  “Here, wear these,” he says, handing him a pair of well-worn sweatpants, the Dalton lacrosse logo stitched across the hip.  “Try not to drown in them.”

Blaine rolls his eyes and pushes at Sebastian’s shoulder, but his heart swells as he stands up to put the pants on.  They’re huge on him, obviously, but he rolls the waistband up a few times until his feet are no longer covered.  “Thanks,” he says, watching closely as Sebastian just shrugs his shoulder.

“I’ve got a million pairs,” Sebastian says as if it’s nothing, but Blaine hopes that it’s something more.

\--

They sneak back through the Dalton hallways, stopping every so often when they’re sure they hear voices or a door opening.  They make it outside without getting caught, Sebastian sticking close to Blaine’s side as they cross the parking lot.  It feels nice, having Sebastian right there, and Blaine has to dig his nails into his palms before doing something stupid, like reaching out for Sebastian’s hands.

When they come up to his car, Blaine feels his heart drop just a little.  He doesn’t want to leave, wants to stay curled up on Sebastian’s tiny bed, his back pressed tightly against Sebastian’s chest, and not wake up for hours.  Instead he unlocks his door, focusing on turning the key and not on Sebastian.

“So just bring me back the pants on Friday,” Sebastian says suddenly and Blaine’s hands pause.

“What?” he asks, needs clarity, positive that he heard Sebastian wrong.

“Just come here on Friday, okay?” Sebastian says quickly, rocking from foot to foot.  Blaine’s never seen Sebastian as anything besides completely put together and he almost wants to laugh.

“No Scandals?” Blaine asks, needing to be sure.

“My roommate always goes home over the weekend, we’d just end up back here anyway.”  He shrugs his shoulder casually.  “It’s just a waste of gas.”

Blaine knows that money for gas is the last thing Sebastian ever has to be concerned about, but he nods along anyway, his eyes wide.  “Yeah, that works,” he says, trying to keep his hope down and the smile off his face.  “I’ll text you?”

“Sure, whatever,” Sebastian says, glancing back at the dorms.  “I have to get back, but drive safely, okay?”  Sebastian leans down for a kiss and Blaine is already on his toes, meeting him halfway there.

“See you on Friday,” Sebastian murmurs against his lips, dragging his hand down Blaine’s side before pulling back.  He slides his hands into his pocket and turns, making his way slowly across the parking lot and back to the Dalton dorms.

“Friday,” Blaine repeats, getting into his car and closing his eyes, his grip on the steering wheel so hard that his fingers begin to ache.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s loud inside Breadsticks; Sam’s election playlist (that consists mostly of different versions of “Born in the USA”) blaring through speakers that are tucked into the corner of the ceiling, everyone happy and boisterous as they offer Blaine congratulations.  It’s mostly just the glee club, a couple of parents, and a few unlucky patrons who are crowded into the restaurant tonight.  It should be overwhelming, every time someone comes up to him and slaps him on the back in congratulations, but Blaine finds that he can’t be anything other than excited.  He won, he’s senior class president, his hard work and dedication had paid off.  He feels like he’s on top of the world, his cheeks sore from smiling so hard.  He tries to think of the last time he was simply this happy, assuming it will take a while for him to think back to a time when he felt like this.  He shocks himself when he remembers instantly, just a few days before, when he was curled up on Sebastian’s bed.

Everyone seems to be occupied, so Blaine grabs his coat and steps outside, reaching into his pocket for his phone.  He walks down the length of the sidewalk and away from the door, pressing his back against the hard wall as he thumbs through his contacts.  He wants to call someone, to share his news and ramble on about everything he has planned as class president.  His thumb pauses over Cooper’s name.  He knows his brother will be happy for him and gladly listen as Blaine tells him all about winning the debate, but he remembers the text he got the night before from Cooper, telling Blaine that he would be in auditions all day and to wish him luck.  He scrolls passed Cooper, passed _H I J K L_ , until he stops at Sebastian’s name.  He hesitates for a few seconds before hitting ‘call’.  It barely rings twice.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?”  Sebastian says as he answers the phone.  Blaine grins and kicks at the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe, tracing cracks in the concrete.  It settles him to hear Sebastian’s voice, his emotions all over the place after winning.  He’s excited and nervous and anxious and a million different other things, but it all floats away as Sebastian speaks into his ear.

“Hey,” Blaine says softly, affectionately, even though he tries not to.  “I have some good news.”

“You’re leaving that joke of a school,” Sebastian says quickly.  Blaine knows he’s joking, but he swears he hears hope in Sebastian’s voice.

“Actually, it’s kind of the opposite.”  He pauses, wondering how Sebastian will respond.  “I ran for senior class president and won.”  He’s giddy saying it, excited to share his important news with Sebastian.  He wants Sebastian to be happy for him, to congratulate him, to wash away the memory of how ambivalent Kurt was when Blaine brought up the idea of running for president over the summer.

Sebastian doesn’t say anything.  It can’t be more than ten seconds, but the silence seems to stretch on forever and he mentally kicks himself for even mentioning it.

“You didn’t tell me you were running,” Sebastian says finally.  His voice is soft and just a little dejected and Blaine never would have guessed that this is how Sebastian was going to react.  He’s not even sure how to respond, his shoulders pressed against the stucco wall and his mouth slightly open, no words coming out.

“I—I didn’t think—“ Blaine starts, unsure of how to finish, but Sebastian cuts him off.

“Well I guess I can cross ‘fuck a politician’ off my bucket list,” Sebastian says, and for some reason that makes Blaine’s stomach lurch even more.  It’s an obvious out and Blaine takes it, even if he feels like a bit of a coward for it.

“I can’t even imagine what’s on your bucket list,” Blaine says, steering the conversation away from something more serious.

“Sex in public was on there, but now thanks to you…” Sebastian trails off, his voice nothing more than a deep rumble in Blaine’s ear.  He remembers two weeks ago; when they were crowded into that tiny bathroom stall, Sebastian on his knees and his mouth on Blaine’s cock.  Despite the cold weather Blaine feels his entire body heat up.  They can’t do this now, not when Blaine has an entire restaurant full of people waiting for him.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, almost scolding, but Sebastian only chuckles in response.  “I still have to give my acceptance speech.”

“You know, phone sex is on the list, too,” Sebastian says suggestively.

“I’m hanging up now,” Blaine laughs, shaking his head.   He tries to keep the hope out of his voice when he asks, “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it,” Sebastian says.  He adds more seriously, “Congratulations, Blaine.”

They hang up and Blaine stays outside for just a few minutes longer, wondering what he’s gotten himself into, until Sam sticks his head out of the door and calls out that people are expecting him back inside.

\--

Blaine stands at the foot of his bed, hands on his hips, his overnight bag out with his clothes folded neatly inside.  It’s seven o’clock and he’s just gotten the text from Sebastian, _roommate just left.  Come over whenever_.  He can’t bring himself to ask if Sebastian wants him to stay the night, instead, he’s standing in the middle of his room, staring at his bag as if it has all the answers.  He knows what he wants to hear; to have Sebastian tell him to pack enough clothes for two days so they can spend the entire weekend together, to bring his toothbrush and set it down on the bathroom counter, lined up right next to Sebastian’s.  The thought settles warmly in his chest before he shakes his head.  He knows there’s a good chance they’ll fuck and Sebastian will send him on his way, back home and away from Dalton.  He can picture Sebastian’s confused face if he shows up with his overnight bag slung over his shoulder, puzzled before telling Blaine that he didn’t plan on asking him to stay the night.  It’s an awful thought, makes Blaine’s stomach turn, and he quickly shoves his bag under his bed, his decision made.  He grabs the sweatpants he borrowed from Sebastian and leaves his room before he can change his mind.

“I’m going over Tina’s,” Blaine call out down the hallway, his voice carrying over to his mother who’s sitting at the kitchen table, filling in a crossword puzzle.

“Have fun, dear,” she says, turning her cheek to the side for Blaine to kiss.  “Will you be home tonight?”

Blaine pauses because he doesn’t know.  He wants to say no, he won’t be home.  He wants to go to Dalton and stay as long as Sebastian will have him.  He figures it’s the safest answer, anyway.  If Sebastian asks him to leave, he can always come home and tell his parents that he hadn’t been feeling well.  He clings to the chance that Sebastian will ask him to stay.  “No, I’m sleeping over.”  He doesn’t like lying to his mother, but it’s not as if he can stay away from Sebastian.

“Alright then.  Have a good night,” his mother says, her eyes cast down as her pencil scratches against the newspaper.

\--

It’s strange pulling into the Dalton parking lot this time, his mind flooding with memories from the last time he was here.  It was only three days ago, but between finishing his speech and winning class president, it seems like so much longer.  He quickly sends Sebastian a text letting him know that he’s arrived and leans back in his seat, breathing deep and even, trying to calm his excited nerves.  He won’t let himself get worked up over this, even if he wants to, downplaying the entire thing as he waits for Sebastian to text him back.

There’s a tapping on his window and Blaine jumps, his eyes snapping open as he turns to face the noise.  Sebastian is smiling and laughing on the other side of the glass, his hands in his pockets as he gives Blaine a small nod.   Blaine tries to catch his breath and calm his heart that’s been racing since before he even pulled into the Dalton parking lot.

“Boo,” Sebastian says as Blaine steps out of the car.  Blaine smiles before he can even stop himself, his body physically reacting to being near Sebastian.  His arms pull towards Sebastian as if they’re magnetized, knowing how perfectly they fit around Sebastian’s shoulders.  Sebastian’s hands stay jammed in his pocket, no hint of movement, and Blaine quickly changes directions, lifting his arms above his head as he pretends to stretch after the drive.  The movement is awkward and Sebastian quirks his eyebrows, smiling as Blaine’s cheeks turn red while he shrugs his shoulders.

“You want to head inside?” Blaine asks.  He doesn’t want to seem too eager, but they both know the reason he’s here.

“Follow me,” Sebastian says, placing his hand low on Blaine’s back and guiding him through the parking lot.  There’s no doubt that Blaine knows his way around Dalton, probably better than Sebastian does, but he doesn’t try to step away from Sebastian’s touch.  It’s easy and casual, Sebastian’s hand fitting in the slope of muscle perfectly, as if this is something they do all the time.  Blaine closes his eyes, just for a second, and imagines what it would be like if this was every day; if he still wore the red and navy blue, if he was here at Dalton with Sebastian, sharing classes and gossip and striped ties.  He shakes his head to clear his thoughts as Sebastian opens the door for him, guiding him over to the table and chair where a student is sitting.

“Signing him in, Sebastian?”  The kid asks.  Blaine knows the drill from his time at Dalton and takes his license out of his wallet so the student working the sign in table can take down his information.  He opens up the notebook and doesn’t write down more than a few words before looking back up.  “Wait, you’re Blaine Anderson?”

Blaine’s confused as to how this boy knows his name, wondering if he should recognize him from his time at Dalton.  “That’s me,” he says, remembering his manners and reaching across the table to shake the boy’s hand.  “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

The boy laughs and shakes his head.  “No, not at all.  I’m just a freshman, but you’re like Warbler royalty.  And this guy,” the kid jerks his thumb over at Sebastian, “won’t stop talking about you.  I swear he’s brought you up at every practice since school started.”

“Are we done here?” Sebastian says quickly, reaching over and grabbing Blaine’s license from where it sits on the table.  Blaine notices how Sebastian fumbles as he tries to pick it up, dropping the ID a few times before thrusting it into Blaine’s hands.  “Here.  Now let’s go.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Blaine calls over his shoulder as Sebastian leads him away.  He wants to question Sebastian about what just happened; why people who never went to school with Blaine know who he is, why Sebastian brings up Blaine at every practice when he hasn’t gone to Dalton in over a year and belongs to a rival show choir.  But he keeps his mouth shut, keeps his questions inside, and follows Sebastian down the hall, holding out hope that maybe Sebastian feels the same way he does.

They make their way through the halls, an easy silence between them, their hands and elbows brushing together when they step to the side to let other students pass.  It feels strange to step inside Sebastian’s room without the rush to take their clothes off, labored breathing and lips everywhere.  Every other time they’ve been alone together like this, it’s been because they can’t keep their hands off each other, can’t stop themselves from wanting more.  But while Blaine wants Sebastian —that feeling is constant and never goes away —it’s different this time; slower, not as rushed or immediate.  It’s different, but it’s nice, and Blaine finds himself wanting to get used to it, to come to Sebastian’s dorm room after school and just do homework or watch a movie.

But when Sebastian closes the door behind them and backs Blaine up against it, all thoughts of homework and movies fly away, replaced with Sebastian’s smirk as he laces their fingers together and slowly brings Blaine’s hands above his head, pressing them against the wood.

“Don’t let that go to your head,” Sebastian says, his hands gripping tighter around Blaine’s wrists as he leans down to mouth at the side of Blaine’s neck.  “Hunter asked about old Warblers and your name got brought up.  That’s it,” he says, as if he’s trying to convince himself.

“Whatever you say, Sebastian,” Blaine teases, his words turning into a gasp as Sebastian nips at the column of his neck.  It’s only been three days since he was in this exact position, pressed along this same door, but his body is craving more.  He doesn’t believe Sebastian for a second, can already recognize the small tells that convince Blaine he isn’t telling the truth—the way his eyes flick to the side, the way he tries to distract Blaine from his words by sliding their hips together.  Blaine doesn’t say anything more, leaves it alone out of fear that calling Sebastian out on his lies might backfire in his face.  He wants to, wants to be sure that they’re on the same page, but he can’t find the courage to spit the words out.  His stomach twists and he blames it on the way Sebastian has jammed their knees together, rubbing slow circles with his hips, breathing deep and steady against Blaine’s neck.

“Let’s move this over to the bed, hmm?”  Sebastian suggests, still holding Blaine’s hands high above his head.   Blaine is reluctant to move away, fully enjoying how Sebastian is pinning his wrists and hips to the door.  He’s barely standing; his body loose and draping against the door as Sebastian holds him in place, small whimpers leaving his mouth as Sebastian sucks tiny marks under the collar of his shirt.  It feels so good and he’s not sure he can even make it over to the bed, but then Sebastian is pulling away and twisting his fingers into the front of Blaine’s polo, another arm hooking around his waist to keep him upright as he drags him over to the bed.

They fall down together, quickly arranging themselves on their sides in order to fit on the small bed.  Their hands tangle as they immediately go for buttons and belts, laughing their way through it when they can’t seem to accomplish much of anything.  Sebastian presses a kiss to Blaine’s mouth and Blaine focuses on how Sebastian’s teeth feel digging into his lips and not on his shaking fingers.  The kiss slows everything down long enough for them to navigate their hands between their bodies, Sebastian’s fingers opening Blaine’s jeans and tugging them down just enough to slide his hand through the layer of his underwear.  Blaine bucks his hips at the contact, stuttering out a breath as Sebastian wraps his fingers around Blaine’s cock.

“How do you want it?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine is amazed at how composed his voice is.  Blaine feels like his insides are breaking, cracking and splitting as Sebastian moves his hand with purposeful strokes.  Blaine realizes with sudden clarity that he will never tire of this, will never be done wanting Sebastian in every way possible.

“Just like this,” Blaine gasps, finally unbuttoning Sebastian’s scratchy uniform pants and shoving his hand inside.  Even though he wants Sebastian inside of him, pushing and fucking and stretching him open, he doesn’t want to wait— _can’t_ wait, not when his stomach is already clenching hotly, his brain dizzy as Sebastian runs his palm along the length of his cock.  “Please, like this.  Don’t stop.”

Sebastian groans and moves his hand quicker, his hips pushing up into Blaine’s fist.  The angle is terrible; the bed is so small and his wrist is already starting to cramp, but it’s worth it to be this close, to have Sebastian’s chest pressed up against his own and to feel Sebastian’s warm breath catch in the dip of his neck.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Sebastian groans, tightening his grip, moving his hand the way he knows Blaine likes.  Blaine buries his face in Sebastian’s neck, panting against hot skin as he quickens his pace.  “So perfect.  Can’t wait to fuck you,” Sebastian continues and Blaine can feel himself throb in response, his eyes slamming shut as he tries to hold out just a little bit longer, but it’s useless.  Sebastian is whispering filthy words in his ear and his fist is tight and quick, pushing Blaine closer and closer to the edge.

“Are you close?”  Blaine asks.  He tries to move his hand the way he knows Sebastian likes, but he can’t focus on anything besides the way Sebastian’s fingers feel wrapped around him.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says.  “Just keep doing that, a little tighter—yeah, yeah,” Sebastian mumbles, his voice nothing more than a growl in Blaine’s ear.  It’s so fucking hot to hear Sebastian losing it, to know that he’s the one causing it.  His entire body _throbs_ as he listens to soft pants and grunts leave Sebastian’s mouth, Blaine’s name spliced in between them.

He’s close, so fucking close that he can’t even concentrate on making this good for Sebastian, even though he wants to.  He wants to rock Sebastian’s world, give him the best he’s ever had every time they’re together, but he can’t think about what his own hand is doing to Sebastian’s cock when he feels like his blood is going to boil.  All it takes is one extra hard pull, Sebastian’s palm sliding wetly over the head of his cock, and Blaine is coming, unconscious to everything around him.  He doesn’t know if he shouts or swears or praises god, his mind completely blanking as he spills all over Sebastian’s hand.

He’s finally coming back, the fog clearing from his brain, when he feels Sebastian press a light kiss to his cheek.  He looks down and sees his hand has stilled around Sebastian’s softening cock.  He’s momentarily upset that he missed Sebastian come, his desperate sounds and the incredible look on his face, but Sebastian is rolling over, grabbing a box of tissues from his nightstand and cleaning them both up.  He reaches across Blaine’s body, his chest pressing Blaine into the mattress and making Blaine’s breath catch, and throws the tissues in a small trashcan.  He rolls back over and settles in on his side, the same position they were both in just minutes ago, and gently tucks Blaine back into his boxer briefs, not bothering to zip his pants up.

Blaine waits for Sebastian to say something, to ask him to stay or tell him to leave, but he says nothing.  His eyes are closed and his breathing is even, one of his hands laying casually on the bump of Blaine’s hip.  Blaine keeps still and then counts to ten before saying anything.

“Sebastian?”  He asks, shifting just a bit on the bed.

“What?”  Sebastian responds, his voice deep and scratchy around the edges, his eyes remaining closed.

“What are we doing?”  Blaine asks and he means it in a million different ways.  He holds his breath and waits.

“We’re enjoying the afterglow and you’re ruining it,” Sebastian says, but there’s a smirk on his lips that lets Blaine know he’s joking.  He knows Sebastian doesn’t let his guard down very often—or at all—and his heart beats faster knowing that he’s the one who gets to see Sebastian like this.

“Do you want me to go?” Blaine asks quietly, pretending to joke but really being afraid of the answer.

“Shut up, Blaine,” Sebastian says fondly, tugging Blaine closer until their chests are tucked together.  “You’re helping me with my history paper after this.”

\--

Blaine ends up back in Sebastian’s sweatpants, the material hanging low on his waist as he settles in next to him, both of them on their stomachs and with their thighs and hips pressed together as they open Sebastian’s history book in front of them.  Sebastian explains the essay to him and it seems pretty straight forward, but he knows how much more difficult the grading curve is at Dalton as opposed to McKinley.

“Do you have a notebook I could take down some notes in?”  Blaine asks, eyes scanning the page of the book in front of them, picking out important names and dates.

“Who still writes notes on paper?  Don’t you use a laptop?”  Sebastian asks.  He dressed down too, finally out of his uniform, wearing a pair of loose basketball shorts and a deep green henley.  Blaine has never seen him like this before and he looks almost vulnerable without the protection of his Dalton blazer.

Blaine shrugs.  “I hate the clicking sound of a keyboard,” he says, watching as Sebastian rolls his eyes.  “And I feel like I remember things better when I write them down.”

“Only you, Blaine,” Sebastian says, but it’s said with such fondness, like Sebastian is happy to know these little quirks, that it makes Blaine flush.

Sebastian rolls off of his stomach and reaches down underneath his bed, pulling out his book bag and looking for a notebook for Blaine.  It hits Blaine suddenly that this is how it could have always been, if he had never transferred, if he had stayed at Dalton.  He could be curled up on Sebastian’s bed every night, taking notes or studying for a test or talking about what happened during Warbler practice.  He would know which drawers Sebastian keeps his spare ties in and which side of the bed he prefers to sleep on.

He’s knocked out of his thoughts when Sebastian tosses the notebook across the bed, hitting Blaine in the shoulder.

“Don’t get ink on my sheets,” Sebastian says, settling back down on his stomach.  He has a notebook of his own and Blaine quirks on eyebrow at him.  “What?  I don’t want to annoy your delicate sensibilities with the horrifying sound of a keyboard.”

They work quietly for almost an hour, taking down notes and piecing Sebastian’s essay together.  It’s domestic in a way that Blaine craves from Sebastian, happy down to his bones knowing that they can do more than just fuck.  He’s about to turn the page of his notebook when Sebastian snatches it away and drops everything from the bed onto the floor.

“I’m bored,” he sighs, turning over onto his back and stretching his arms over his head, pillowing them under the back of his neck.  Blaine is ready for Sebastian to initiate something, a not so subtle hand on the front of his pants or a comment about getting him on all fours.  It never comes, and instead Sebastian asks, “What are you doing when you graduate?”

Blaine’s caught completely off guard.  No one has asked him about his plans after high school.  His parents assume he has it under control and he’s yet to be called into Miss Pillsbury’s office to talk about colleges and universities.  The fact that Sebastian is the first person to ask him without any bullshit attached makes his vision go blurry.

“I’m not sure, exactly,” he answers honestly.  He doesn’t know if that’s the right move, if Sebastian even cares about his college plans or if he’s just making small talk before asking Blaine to fuck.  He continues anyway.  “The plan was always for me to go to New York with—“

Sebastian cuts him off with a scoff, rolling his eyes.  “You’re so much better than that, Blaine,” he says, not looking at Blaine, his eyes glued up at the ceiling instead.  “If you want to go to school in New York, it should be your choice, not because of anyone else.”

It’s hard to hear—of course it is.  Because going to New York with Kurt had been Blaine’s plan for almost a year.  They had everything planned, down to what corner their Starbucks would be on and the wallpaper pattern of their first apartment together.  But things have changed.  Blaine’s not naive enough to think that those plans will still happen, and he’s shocked when he realizes he doesn’t really want them to.  He still wants to go to New York, to go to school in his favorite city in the world and live out his dream of preforming on Broadway, but it won’t happen with Kurt by his side.  He’ll do it on his own, he knows he can, and he won’t let the thought of someone else keep him from accomplishing everything he wants.

“They have great schools in Boston, you know,” Sebastian says and it startles Blaine from his thoughts.  Blaine’s eyebrows draw together, unsure about where this is coming from.

“I’m sure they do,” he says, his voice rising at the end as if it’s a question.

“That’s where I’m going,” Sebastian clarifies.  “Harvard.  I’m going to study medicine.  My dad was pushing for law,” he pauses to deepen his voice.  “Smythe men are lawyers,” he says, mimicking his father.  “But I couldn’t be less interested in it.”

“That’s amazing, Sebastian,” Blaine says.  “I had no idea you wanted to be a doctor.”

Sebastian turns his head to the side until he’s looking at Blaine, an easy smile sliding over his face.  “Well, we don’t really do a lot of talking when we’re together, now do we?”

Blaine blushes, but knows it’s true.

“Anyway,” Sebastian continues, as if he’s uninterested.  “Berklee is better than any school is New York if you want to go for music.”

Blaine’s pulse pounds in his ears as he listens to Sebastian.  He needs clarity, can’t read into this and make it something it’s not.  “You want me in Boston?” Blaine asks, his voice barely above a whisper.  That can’t be what Sebastian’s implying, there’s no way.

“I didn’t say that,” Sebastian says quickly, turning away from Blaine and back to staring at the ceiling.  “This is all information you should have gotten from a half-wit guidance counselor at that public school of yours.”

His reaction is immediate and harsh and Blaine can see right through it.  He smiles to himself and nods, biting at his lip.  “I think Boston is only a three hour train ride from New York, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Sebastian grumbles, clearly agitated.  He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t look away from the ceiling.

Blaine stretches across Sebastian’s body, laughing at Sebastian’s huff of annoyance, reaching for his phone to check the time.  “We should get some sleep,” he says, staying pressed against Sebastian’s chest for a moment longer than is necessary, before settling back in to his side of the bed.  “I don’t think these walls have gotten any thicker since I’ve been here and I remember rooming next to a kid who liked to sing scales at six am.”  Blaine doesn’t think Sebastian ever met Wes.

“Yeah, okay,” Sebastian says, reaching over to turn the lamp on his nightstand off.  “Besides, I’ve got plans for you tomorrow.”

Blaine doesn’t question him, doesn’t ask how long Sebastian has been thinking about the two of them spending the night together.  Instead he pulls back the covers and slides under the blankets, his mind racing with possibilities for tomorrow.  The room is dark and Blaine expects Sebastian to start touching him, waits for his palm to skim down the front of his chest and slip under the waist of his sweatpants.  But it never comes.  The only touch Sebastian gives Blaine is a push to his shoulder, until Blaine gets the hint and rolls over on his side.  Sebastian is behind him immediately, his chest pressed along Blaine’s back, a hand tucked around Blaine’s waist, their knees and hips lined up together perfectly.

Sebastian’s breath is even and Blaine can feel it against his back each time he takes a deep breath in.  His chin is tucked over Blaine’s shoulder, his cheek pressed to Blaine’s neck.  He traces his fingers in abstract patterns over Blaine’s stomach, never dipping lower than his belly button.  There’s nothing sexual about the way Sebastian moves; it’s soothing, intimate, relaxing, and it’s what lulls Blaine to sleep, staying awake just long enough to feel Sebastian’s fingers leave his stomach and find his hand instead, lacing their fingers together as they drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

They don’t wake up to anyone singing before sunrise.  Instead, it’s the light through the curtains that wakes Blaine, settling over his eyes and seeping through his eyelids.  Lately he’s been groggy when waking up, tossing and turning, awful dreams making it hard for him to sleep.  Right now he feels completely at ease, relaxed down to his bones in a way that only a good night of sleep can cause.  He stretches; from his fingers down to his toes, feeling his joints crack as he move silently, trying to not wake Sebastian.  It doesn’t work, the bed creaks as Blaine brings his arms down from over his head and Sebastian cracks an eye open.

“Morning,” Blaine offers, smiling as he takes in the way Sebastian looks; his cheeks red and crinkled from his pillow case, his hair sticking up in spots and lying flat in others, a mess on top of his head.  It’s easy to fall for Sebastian like this, Blaine realizes, when he’s still foggy with sleep and hasn’t had the time to build up his usual walls and defenses.

“Mmmph,” Sebastian grunts, throwing his leg over Blaine’s knee and hooking their ankles together.  “Time’s it?” he asks, digging his face into the crook of Blaine’s neck.

Blaine laughs and soaks up the warmth radiating from Sebastian.  His nose is cold, and Blaine remembers the old windows and unreliable heat from his time at Dalton, but it’s warm under the covers.  “I’m not sure,” he answers, reaching over and patting around on the bedside table until his fingers bump into his phone.  “Just after nine.”

“Too early,” Sebastian says, still speaking in fragments of sentences.  He’s only half awake and maybe a little vulnerable, so sleepy and rumpled that Blaine’s heart aches.  Blaine has to bite down on his lip to keep his thoughts to himself, knowing that one wrong word could end this entire thing.  It’s getting harder, though; harder to not say what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling for Sebastian.

“I thought you had plans for me,” he says instead.

The smile that spreads across Sebastian’s face is large and lazy and Blaine barely sees a hint of his teeth before Sebastian quickly rolls them over, until his long body is pressing Blaine down into the mattress.  Blaine chokes on a surprised laugh, gasping when Sebastian presses his cold nose into the dip of Blaine’s neck.

“My plans for you involve getting out of bed,” Sebastian explains, his voice muffled by Blaine’s skin.

"We could always just stay in bed," Blaine suggests, lifting his hips suggestively, because that's safe. He knows how to handle Sebastian when he's using his mouth or his hands. He knows what he can say while Sebastian's lips are attached to his neck, what he can cry out as Sebastian pushes his fingers slowly inside his body. But being with Sebastian outside of his bed, without the familiarity of sex to fall back on, is dangerous. He's never had a problem keeping his feelings locked up inside before—Kurt leaving him for New York, his brother pushing him to the side, his father's insistence that he'll grow out of "this phase” —but it's different with Sebastian. He can feel it clawing at the back of his throat, threatening to spill through his lips every time he catches Sebastian glancing at him. He reminds himself that this is all Sebastian wants, fucking without feelings, and Blaine wonders how it's so easy for him.  
  
"As appealing as that sounds," Sebastian says, giving Blaine a quick kiss before pushing off of him and getting to his feet. "We have coffee waiting for us."

\--

It feels a little odd putting on his clothes from the day before, but there’s not much else he can do.  He’s not a student here anymore, so he can’t borrow any of Sebastian’s uniforms, which Blaine knows takes up most of any Dalton student’s wardrobe.  Sebastian’s jeans and polos would be too big on him and easily recognizable as not belonging to Blaine, and he tells himself that’s the reason he doesn’t ask Sebastian to borrow some clothes for the day.  It has nothing to do with him being worried about how Sebastian would take such a request, how much it would hurt if Sebastian just brushed it off with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.

Blaine’s sneaking a palm full of mousse (not his first choice, but it’ll do in a pinch) from the top of Sebastian’s dresser when the bathroom door opens.  He quickly slicks his hair back and turns around.

“You’re not wearing your uniform?”  Blaine asks dumbly when he sees Sebastian, dressed in dark jeans and thin, soft sweater that Blaine aches to touch.  As good as he looks in these clothes, it’s not the red and blue that Blaine craves, that he misses deep down in his bones.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow at Blaine.  “I’m sure you remember how scared weekends are around here,” he says, running his hand down the center of his chest to smooth out the fabric.  “No uniform.”

“Right, yeah.  Of course,” Blaine says, eyes caught on how Sebastian’s long fingers look against the black of his sweater.   He needs a subject change but his brain is scrambled.  “I still don’t understand how you got a private bathroom,” he finally decides on and Sebastian smiles.

“It pays when your dad does pro bono work when your school has legal troubles,” Sebastian says with a wink.  He closes the bathroom door and stands in front of the full length mirror on the other side, brushing at his shoulders.

“Must be nice,” Blaine laughs, walking over and standing beside Sebastian, looking at their reflections in the mirror.  It’s a nice picture and Blaine can admit that they look good together, that they would look even better if Blaine was wearing a Dalton uniform instead of day old rumpled clothes.  He loves how obviously taller Sebastian is when they stand side by side; how the top of his shoulder barely hits Sebastian’s upper arm, how if he turned his head to the right and leaned in, his lips would brush against the dip of Sebastian’s throat.  Sebastian must notice Blaine staring because he has a quizzical look on his face, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion but his lips turned up in a small smile.  Blaine coughs and looks away.  “I remember sharing my bathroom with six other guys.”

“It doesn’t suck,” Sebastian says honestly and Blaine laughs.  He watches in the mirror as Sebastian’s nostrils twitch.  “You smell like me,” he says, and there’s no inflection is his voice that gives away what he’s thinking.

Blaine flushes at getting caught, quickly turning his back to the mirror.  “I just borrowed some of your mousse,” he explains.  “I didn’t bring any and my hair gets out of control without some product.”  He knows he’s rambling but he can’t stop himself.  “You were in the bathroom, so I couldn’t ask.”

“Hey, Blaine, it’s fine,” Sebastian says, chuckling at Blaine’s nerves.  “As long as you didn’t use the entire bottle like I know you wanted to.”

Blaine pushes at Sebastian’s shoulder fondly.  “Shut up,” he mumbles, forcing himself to keep a straight face and not smile.  “I don’t use _that_ much.”

Sebastian’s chuckle turns into full out laughter.  “Yes you do,” he says.  “But I like it.” He turns to the side and bends down until his nose is pressed against the nape of Blaine’s neck.  “And I like that you smell like me.”

The blush that had faded comes back quickly and Blaine has to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep from saying something he’ll regret.  Instead he takes a deep breath and counts to ten and when he does speak, Sebastian’s nose is still dragging along the soft hairs that are scattered on the back of his neck.

“Either keep doing that and get your hands involved or stop so we can get coffee,” Blaine says and he can feel Sebastian’s laughter as it rumbles against him.

“Too honorable to walk down the halls of Dalton with your dick hard?” Sebastian says but he pulls back, smacking Blaine on the ass as he goes.  Blaine yelps as he turns to glare and sees that Sebastian’s smile is sweet and fake, the kind he saves for talking his teachers into upping his test scores.  “How about that coffee?”

\--

The hallways are almost empty as they walk from the dorms over to the large study halls, most of the students having gone home for the weekend.  Blaine had been hoping to run into some old Warblers, but the only people he sees are panicked kids that he doesn’t recognize holding stacks of books and rushing down the hall.  He hears Sebastian scoff, “ _freshmen_ ,” under his breath as they pass by the nervous boys.  Blaine remembers his freshman year at Dalton, how the building seemed so big and daunting and how he thought he would never catch up.  He wants to sit the younger kids down and tell them to relax, to reassure them and tell them that everything will be okay.

Sebastian leads them into the largest study hall— the one that Blaine knows has the best coffee.  They walk over to the long tables where the coffee is kept and pour their drinks, keeping quiet in the large room mostly out of habit, even though they’re the only ones there.  Blaine barely has a sugar packet ripped open before Sebastian is leaning over and tapping just the right amount of cinnamon into Blaine’s coffee.  His hands still as he stares at Sebastian.

“What?” Sebastian asks.  “The only place you would ever meet me was the Lima Bean.  Of course I remember how you take your coffee.”

Blaine says nothing, just smiles and reaches for three of the tiny individual creamers —two hazelnut and one French vanilla.  He places them in front of Sebastian without saying a word and watches as Sebastian opens each one and dumps them into his coffee.  They share a wooden stirrer and Sebastian grabs them both sleeves for their cups before catching Blaine by the elbow and steering them over to an open table in the middle of the room.

The realization hits him almost instantly; this is the where they sat the first time they ever spoke, after Blaine had been pulled in by Sebastian in more ways than one.  He smiles to himself as he takes a sip of coffee.

“What?” Sebastian asks, and it only makes Blaine’s smile grow bigger.

“Nothing,” he says, pressing his lips together and blowing off some of the steam that still lingers, trapped under the lid of his cup.

“What?”  Sebastian presses, and Blaine just shakes his head.  “Did I ever tell you that you’re incredibly annoying?”  He’s probably trying to bother Blaine with the statement, but it just makes Blaine laugh, the sound echoing in the empty room.

“Just thinking back to some fond memories,” Blaine explains as he takes a sip of his drink, the coffee warm and sweet in his mouth.

Sebastian’s eyes are rolling before he even speaks.  “Remembering which tables you used to jump all over?”

Blaine smiles and dips his head down and this is all so familiar.   “No,” he says, shaking his head.  “I’m remembering having coffee with a Warbler who I was equal parts attracted to and terrified of.”

The surprise on Sebastian’s face is there for only a moment, but Blaine sees it.  “You were so nervous,” Sebastian says, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the memory.  “It was so much fun watching you squirm.”

“It was your fault,” Blaine reminds him.

“And I had so much fun doing it,” Sebastian says.  He runs the tip of his shoe in a hard line up the inside of Blaine’s calf and Blaine jolts in his seat at the surprise contact.  “Still do.”  Blaine spreads his legs wider, an invitation for Sebastian’s foot to travel higher, but Sebastian pulls away with a wink and says something under his breath that sounds like a laugh mixed with ‘ _sex on a stick_ ’.

“I see you looking around, all wide-eyed,” Sebastian says, as he slides out of his chair.  Blaine notices when Sebastian’s fingers reach down to his stomach to button up the uniform he isn’t wearing, so used to his blazer all week, and Blaine remembers how it took him months to not fasten buttons that didn’t exist, to not tighten a phantom tie.  He has been itching to walk around, to see the school that he’s missed.  “Come on, Bambi.  I’ll give you a tour of the place.”

Dalton is mostly empty this weekend and it’s like they have the entire school to themselves.  Although Blaine had hoped to stumble upon an impromptu Warblers performance, there’s something nice about walking down the halls without being cramped in between students and being politely pushed out of the way.  He and Sebastian can talk in hushed tones as they round corners and walk up a giant staircase, their feet falling in step as they climb the stairs.  It takes them to the second floor and into the library.  Blaine waves at the librarian and almost stops to chat before Sebastian huffs out a breath that’s pure annoyance and drags Blaine over to the back, through the rows and rows of book, until they’re standing in front of a large window that overlooks the entire Dalton campus.

“This was my favorite spot while I was here,” Blaine says, breathless.  He misses Dalton more than he wants to admit, but he’s at McKinley now and that’s where he’s staying.  He made his choice to transfer and he’s honorable enough to stand by it, and not leave the New Directions, even if part of his heart is somewhere else.

The leather is soft and well-worn beneath Blaine’s hands and he sits down on an oversized chair, angling it so he has a view out of the window.  The soccer team is practicing drills on the field below and Blaine’s stomach drops when he realizes he doesn’t recognize a single person running through the grass.  He focuses instead on the trees lining the quad, their limbs almost bare, with just a few burnt orange leaves hanging on.

“Did I ever tell you about my first week at Dalton?” he asks.  Sebastian has dropped into the chair beside him, pulling it closer until the leather covered arms are pushed against each other.

“If you have, I wasn’t paying attention,” Sebastian says honestly, shrugging his shoulder, unbothered.  “I’m listening now, though.”

“Wes, he graduated the year before you transferred, he found me right here after school on my third day.  I was so shy and nervous, I didn’t talk to anyone,” Blaine says, chancing a glance up to see if Sebastian is even listening.  He finds a pair of eyes locked on him, unblinking.  “I was singing to myself and he overheard me and asked me to join the Warblers.”  It’s one of Blaine’s favorite memories; Wes’ firm handshake, his instant joy at learning his new school had a show choir, feeling like he finally belonged.  “I can’t believe I never asked you this, but how did you join the Warblers?”

“Your story is a little different than mine,” Sebastian says and Blaine quirks an intrigued eyebrow.  “My first day here, I corned a freshman and asked him which club I should join that wasn’t absolutely pathetic,” Sebastian says and Blaine laughs so loudly the librarian shushes them.  “What?  I wasn’t going to join the fucking _Mathletes_ ,” he says, disgust dripping from his voice.  “And besides, aren’t you glad I decided on the Warblers?” Sebastian asks, smirking as Blaine dips his head and tucks his chin into his chest.

“I guess some good did come out of it,” Blaine agrees and then jerks his head up.  “Hey,” he says, too loud for the quiet library.  “Who told you I was sex on a stick?”

Sebastian laughs in a way Blaine has never heard before; uninhibited and loud, his mouth open wide and if Blaine were quick enough, he could count each too-white tooth.  Instead he just stares and commits the sound to memory.  “Well?”  He prods and it just makes Sebastian laugh louder.

“Excuse me boys, but if you can’t quiet down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the librarian says, her voice low and stern.  Blaine didn’t even notice her come over and her scolding does nothing to stop Sebastian’s laughter.

“We’re out of here, anyway,” Sebastian says, his laughter finally subsiding, grabbing onto Blaine’s hand and pulling him out of the chair.

“I expected more from you, Blaine Anderson,” she says, shaking her head as she watches them leave.

“Sorry, Mrs. Wheeler,” Blaine calls over his shoulder as Sebastian tugs him out of the library.

Sebastian leads them down the stairs, their hands still clasped together.  He’s not rushing, Sebastian never _rushes_ , but his feet are moving quickly and Blaine has to make it a point to keep up.  They get to the bottom of the stairs and Sebastian doesn’t even look back, just pulls Blaine’s arm so he continues to follow him.

“Where are we going in such a hurry?”  Blaine asks.  They’re going in the opposite direction of the study hall where their forgotten coffees are sitting, away from the large wooden doors that lead outside.

Sebastian stops dead in his tracks, tossing a quick glance around the empty hallway before pressing Blaine up against the door to an empty classroom.  “I was thinking,” he starts, leaning in, placing his palms on either side of Blaine’s shoulders and trapping him in.  “We could go back to my room.”  His lips brush against Blaine’s.  “What do you think?”

Blaine nods so quickly that their foreheads bump together.  Sebastian laughs, but it’s deep and raw, not like the all-out laughter from the library.

“Then what are we waiting for?” he asks, pulling Blaine in for a quick and dirty kiss that leaves him breathless.

The walk back to Sebastian’s room happens in a blur.  Blaine doesn’t remember seeing the paintings that he knows hang on the walls or passing under the archway that connects the school to the dorms.  He doesn’t remember Sebastian unlocking the door or pushing him down on the bed, doesn’t remember falling back into his pillows, can’t focus on anything until he feels Sebastian’s fingers working his jeans open.

“Shirt off,” Sebastian says, pulling impatiently at Blaine’s pants.  Blaine doesn’t hesitate to sit up, his hands gripping and pulling until he can tear the shirt off his back.  He falls onto the bed just as Sebastian is finishing with his pants, tugging them off of Blaine’s ankles and dropping them to the floor.  “Get the lube?” he asks as he starts on his own clothes.  Blaine watches, struck dumb as each inch of Sebastian’s pale skin is revealed.  He should be used to this by now, the freckles on Sebastian’s chest and the light hair that covers his thighs.  It shouldn’t make his breath catch in his throat each time, but it does.

Sebastian’s hands are on his waist, pulling down the fly on his jeans, when he looks up at Blaine expectantly.  Blaine quickly shakes his head and reaches into the second drawer of Sebastian’s nightstand, his hands finding the lube and condoms.  When he turns back, Sebastian is naked and crawling up the bed, stretching his body on top of Blaine.  The skin on skin contact feels amazing and Blaine has missed this more than anything else.  The sex is amazing and he craves it down to his bones, but it’s the _closeness_ that he wants from Sebastian, what he needs to get through the week when they’re not together.  The kiss Sebastian drops on his lips is quick and teasing and when Blaine tries to deepen it, Sebastian just smiles and pulls back, sitting up and resting his weight on Blaine’s knees.  Blaine reaches blindly for the lube by his side, fingers curling around the familiar bottle and pressing it into Sebastian’s hand.  He needs Sebastian inside of him, needs to be filled and stretched and pressed down into the mattress.

But Sebastian doesn’t hold onto the bottle and it falls to the bed.

“Here,” Blaine says, picking up the lube and offering it to Sebastian.  He stretches his hand out, palm up, and waits for Sebastian to take it.  When Sebastian says nothing, does nothing, Blaine asks, “Do you want me to get myself ready?”  He doesn’t mind, not really, even if he prefers Sebastian’s long fingers opening him up.

“No,” Sebastian says and shakes his head.

Blaine’s sits up on his elbows, completely confused.  “Okay?  So what do we need the lube for?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and bites at his bottom lip and if Blaine didn’t know any better, he’d say Sebastian looks _nervous_.  “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“Make you say what?” Blaine asks.  Sebastian stares at him, waiting for Blaine to put the pieces together.  It takes a few seconds as Blaine tries to figure out what Sebastian means, but then it all comes together and Blaine’s breath punches out of him.  “You—you want me to top?”

“And I used to think public school kids were all idiots,” Sebastian says, covering up his nerves with sarcasm.  Blaine barely acknowledges it, instead staring at Sebastian with his jaw dropped open.  “Close your mouth, you look ridiculous,” Sebastian says.  “Do you want to do this or not?”

Blaine nods so quickly that he feels a muscle in his neck pull and he scrambles back, making room for Sebastian to lie down.  They switch positions, Sebastian getting comfortable on his back and Blaine moving in between his open legs.

Seeing Sebastian spread out like this makes Blaine’s hands shake, makes his stomach twist up in knots and his throat close up.  He pops open the cap and covers his fingers, needing to concentrate on something besides the ringing in his ears.  He makes sure his fingers are slick and warm before looking up.

“Ready?”  He asks.

“Blaine, just do it,” Sebastian says impatiently, but Blaine doesn’t miss the way his breath quickens or the way his fingers pluck at the sheets nervously.

The first press of his finger inside is met with so much resistance that it shocks Blaine.  Sebastian is tight in a way that Blaine hasn’t experienced in a long time and he can barely move his finger without Sebastian jerking around him, and not in a good way.  He places a kiss to Sebastian’s knee and moves slowly, just a few soft pushes in order to let Sebastian get used to the feeling.  He adds more lube to make the slide easier, but Sebastian is still tense; every muscle that Blaine can see is wound up tight.

“You have to relax,” Blaine says softly, his finger stilling inside.  Sebastian’s eyes are screwed shut and Blaine can feel the discomfort radiating from him.  “Hey, we don’t have to do this,” he says.  “I don’t mind if we stop.”

“No,” Sebastian says and Blaine can hear that his teeth are ground together.  “Keep going.”

“I can’t when you’re so tense,” Blaine says, pulling his finger back an inch before pushing back in.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I just—“ Sebastian starts and then stops.  Blaine waits until Sebastian speaks again.  “I don’t do this very often.”

“Oh.  _Oh_ ,” Blaine says, understanding dawning on him.  His heartbeat speeds up as he lets Sebastian’s words sink in.  “I’ll go slow, then.  But you have to relax for me, okay?”

Sebastian nods and takes a deep breath and Blaine can feel when he starts loosening up, relaxing around Blaine’s finger.

“That’s better,” Blaine says, moving his finger in and out, slow but firm.  He takes his time stretching Sebastian, moving a little faster as he feels Sebastian open around his finger.  He bites his lip in concentration, his eyes flicking from Sebastian’s face to where his finger disappears further and further inside Sebastian’s body.  “Can I add two?” He asks.  He can feel that Sebastian is ready for it, but he needs to be sure.

Sebastian swallows harshly, his breath picking up speed as Blaine moves his finger.  “Yeah—Yeah, I think so,” he says, nodding along with his words.

The second finger is easier than the first now that Sebastian is relaxed, his body loose and willing.  He drops his knees apart wider as Blaine presses his fingers inside, twisting and curling and pressing in as far as he can.  Sebastian opens up slowly, reacting to Blaine’s careful touches.  It causes heat to build in Blaine’s stomach, his cock already hard and heavy between his legs without even being touched.  He watches the pleasurable shock on Sebastian’s face each time he presses his fingers in just right, the way Sebastian can’t contain his moans when Blaine twists and pushes and fills him up.  Knowing that Sebastian doesn’t do this often—maybe not at all—makes Blaine’s vision swim and he digs his teeth into the side of his cheek to keep his concentration.

“More,” Sebastian begs and Blaine groans at the sound.  Sebastian doesn’t beg when he wants something—he takes it.  He’s asking Blaine though, pleading with him, and Blaine’s fingers shake as he opens up the cap to add more lube.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” he asks, and Sebastian nods.

Three fingers don’t fit as easily, but Blaine takes his time.  He touches Sebastian the way that he likes to be touched; firm strokes in and long drags out, twisting his wrist as he goes, pulling out soft groans from deep in Sebastian’s chest.  He knows this part is important, knows that Sebastian needs extra time to adjust, but Blaine’s not sure how much longer he can wait; not when Sebastian is so tight and slick around him.

“ _Blaine_ ,” Sebastian says, his voice wrecked, his knees shaking lightly as Blaine pulls his fingers out entirely.  “Come on, come up here.  I need to touch you.”

Blaine goes willingly, shuffling his knees up a few inches until Sebastian reaches out and throws an arm across his shoulders, tugging him down into a frantic kiss.  His other arm snakes down Blaine’s chest, fingers dragging along his stomach and wrapping around Blaine’s cock.  Blaine’s hips stutter forward at the surprise contact, breaking away from Sebastian’s mouth to shove his face against Sebastian’s neck, his moans loud and drawn out.

“You don’t even know how hot you are,” Sebastian mumbles as his hand moves faster, his fingers tight around Blaine’s cock.  “You have no idea what you do to me, Blaine.  No fucking clue.”

Blaine whines, the sound high pitched and desperate and bordering on pathetic, but he doesn’t _care_.  Not when Sebastian is whispering into his ear, his hand wrapped around Blaine’s dick, palm stroking up and down as Blaine balance himself over Sebastian’s body.

“Sebastian,” Blaine groans, struggling for breath in the crook of Sebastian’s neck.  He really should tell Sebastian to stop, pull his hands away and search for the condom that’s lost somewhere in the sheets.  He’s too close already and he needs this to be good for Sebastian, doesn’t want him to regret trusting Blaine like this, but he can’t find the words.

“No one else does it for me like you do,” Sebastian continues, his voice a low growl in Blaine’s ear.  His hand moves faster and Blaine’s entire body shakes with the effort to not let go.  His squeezes his eyes shut and pants against Sebastian’s neck, straining to not fuck into Sebastian’s fist.  “I don’t want anyone else but you.”

Blaine’s hips snap forward as Sebastian’s words soak into his skin, the head of his cock catching against where Sebastian is open and slick and warm.  He cries out as his orgasm slams into him unexpectedly, coming hard all over the inside of Sebastian’s thighs.  He fucks through the mess on Sebastian’s legs helplessly, his hips twitching as his cock rubs against soft skin covered in come.  It hurts to breathe, his lungs burning as he gasps for air.  He barely has any time to open his eyes before Sebastian is scrambling for him, letting go of his cock and pulling Blaine away from his neck and in for a kiss.  Sebastian pants against his lips, not even really a kiss at all, arching up to slide his dick against the sharp curve on Blaine’s hips.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles, their lips brushing together as he speaks.  “You felt—I couldn’t _not_.  I’m sorry.”  Embarrassment curls up in the pit of his stomach, his cheeks burning as the realization that he ruined everything smashes into him.

“That was so fucking hot,” Sebastian gasps, rutting harder against Blaine’s hip and Blaine can feel the slickness that’s still all over Sebastian’s thighs.  Sebastian’s breath is coming quick and uneven, his fingers digging into Blaine’s shoulders.  “I can’t—please, please?”

Blaine doesn’t hesitate before sliding down Sebastian’s body, his lips catching on the dips of Sebastian’s stomach as he settles in between Sebastian’s legs.  His knees fall even further apart to make room and Blaine bends forward, opening his mouth around Sebastian’s cock.  He groans as it slides between his lips, the heavy weight welcome against his tongue.  He’s missed doing this, and it’s even better now that it’s Sebastian beneath him, Sebastian’s thighs shaking, Sebastian’s fingers pulling at his hair.  He’s only moved a few inches when he hears Sebastian pleading above him.

“Can you put your fingers back?” he asks, and it’s soft, Blaine barely catches it, almost as if Sebastian’s afraid to ask.  Blaine’s not prepared to hear those words, strained and low above him, and he moves as quickly as he can, circling one teasing finger before pressing back inside.  Sebastian is still wet and open from before, when Blaine had three fingers fucking into him, and the memory is enough to make Blaine grind down against the mattress.

Sebastian is writhing as Blaine drags his mouth over his cock, tongue flat and wide, curling around the head before bobbing back down.  He loves the feeling this gives him; focusing solely on the pleasure of someone else, knowing that he’s the cause of Sebastian’s desperate moans and the way his stomach clenches tightly each time Blaine crooks his finger.  He taps Sebastian’s hip with his free hand, urging him to move, to stop holding back and to thrust into Blaine’s willing mouth.

“Yeah?” he asks and it’s more of an exhale of breath than an actual word.  “You want me to?”

Blaine nods the best that he can, opening his jaw wider as Sebastian starts to thrust shallowly into his mouth.  He’s still holding back, Blaine can tell. His cock doesn’t even brush the back of Blaine’s throat, but it’s still good, still what Blaine wants.  He crosses a second finger over his first and pushes them both in at once and Sebastian cries out.

The fingers in his hair pull tighter, demanding, digging into his scalp as Sebastian tries to pull him back.  He’s having none of it and he shakes off Sebastian’s fingers, opening his jaw as wide as he can despite the small ache.  Sebastian’s hips jerk roughly a few times and he bites back Blaine’s name as he comes, his hands on the back of Blaine’s head keeping his mouth in place.  Blaine loves it—the way Sebastian tastes, sounds, feels, as he falls apart.

Sebastian’s grip on his hair lessens until his hands fall to the side and land in the sheets, his chest heaving as he struggles for breath.  Blaine pulls off of his cock slowly, sliding his fingers out of Sebastian as gently as he can.  Sebastian whines just a bit before he stops himself, reaching his long arms down to tug Blaine up.

“Blaine,” he says, like it’s the only word he knows.  “ _Blaine_.”

Blaine can’t help the huge smile that breaks out on his face as he drops in beside Sebastian, his head finding the crook of Sebastian’s elbow where he fits so perfectly.  “Sorry that didn’t turn out exactly like you wanted,” Blaine says, still a little embarrassed.

“Shut up,” Sebastian says fondly, curling his arm tighter around Blaine’s side.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, their deep, even breathing syncing together, when Sebastian’s phone rings loudly in the quiet room.  He curses and throws an arm over Blaine, their naked chests pressed together, and searches for his cell phone on his nightstand.

“What?” he says harshly into the phone, not hiding his obvious annoyance.  Blaine can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying, but he feels Sebastian tense up.  “Are you kidding?  What the fuck?” Sebastian complains, taking his arm out from under Blaine and sitting up in bed.  “Yeah, fine.  Whatever.  See you later.”  He hangs up the phone and throws it at the foot of his bed.

“Everything okay?”  Blaine asks, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Sebastian.

“My roommate’s coming back early,” he grumbles, leaning forward, and Blaine can’t take his eyes off of the long, pale stretch of Sebastian’s back.  “He’s on his way back now.  He just called to ask if I wanted him to pick me up a coffee.”  Sebastian laughs, but the sound is hollow.

Something like dread settles in the pit of Blaine’s stomach.  “Oh.  Okay.  I guess I’ll head out?” he asks.  He’s not sure why he says it as a question; there’s no way Sebastian is going to ask him to stay.

“Fuck,” Sebastian says, rubbing his palm over his forehead.  “I wanted you to stay longer, okay?  I did.”

“I believe you,” Blaine says, a defeated smile taking shape on his face.  “We can get together next weekend?” he offers.

Sebastian’s sigh is deep and heavy and he looks back to Blaine regretfully.  “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

\--

“I’ll make sure he’s gone all next weekend,” Sebastian promises as they stand by Blaine’s car.  It’s chilly, the wind whipping, and Blaine shivers.  Sebastian’s hands immediately move to rub the length of his arms.  “No surprise visits.”

“Sounds good,” Blaine says.  He’s disappointed that he’s not staying at Dalton for an extra day, that he won’t be waking up tucked into Sebastian’s side, but hearing Sebastian plan for next weekend makes him buzz with excitement.

“Just the two of us,” Sebastian says and there’s a genuine smile on his face, something that Blaine is getting used to seeing more and more.

“Just the two of us,” Blaine repeats.  He feels joy and hope and every other emotion he _should not_ be having.

“Text me when you get home, okay?”  Sebastian asks, not thinking twice before pulling Blaine into a tight hug.  Blaine can feel the cold press of his fingers through the layer of his shirt, but Sebastian’s core is warm, his chest radiating heat as he wraps his arms around Blaine.  They stay like that for what feels like forever and not long enough, Blaine pulling back first to push up and press a kiss to Sebastian’s cold lips.

“Don’t miss me too much,” Blaine says, tucking his nose into Sebastian’s neck.  He can feel Sebastian shake with laughter and he runs a hand down the length of Blaine’s back.

“I’ll see you soon, Blaine,” he says, stepping out of the hug and reaching around to open the car door.

He feels the words on the tip of his tongue, like he’s ready to explode if he holds them in any longer.  This is the moment where he could tell Sebastian how he truly feels, how he doesn’t want to be just another notch on Sebastian’s belt, another number to add to his list.  He wants to be more than that, wants to hold Sebastian’s hand and kiss him whenever he wants and everything else that Sebastian pretends to hate.  He’s confused about most things in his life, but not about this.  His feelings for Sebastian are real and true and keep him awake at night, wondering if Sebastian feels the same way.  He opens his mouth, the words right there, clear and easy and so ready to come out.

“See you later,” he says instead.  He feels like a coward, but he’s not willing to take a chance on Sebastian not returning his feelings.  The thought that he could confess his feelings and then never see Sebastian again makes him literally sick, his stomach clenching tight as he slides into his car.  Of course he wants Sebastian to feel the same way, but he’s not willing to risk ending what they have.  Not yet, not when he needs Sebastian just to get him through his week.

He pulls out of the parking spot and Sebastian tosses him an easy wave.  Blaine smiles and watches him in his rearview mirror as he drives away, until he’s nothing more than a small blur in the reflective glass.


	8. Chapter 8

_From Sebastian:  The Warblers are doing movie night in the senior commons on Saturday._

_From Blaine:  I remember those days.   Whose turn is it to pick the movie?_

_From Sebastian:  Jeff.  Or maybe Nick.  I don’t know, I just overheard them talking about it._

_From Blaine:  Either way, be prepared for lots of naked girls and explosions._

_From Sebastian:  What do I have to do to get you to do to stay Friday night and endure the movie with me on Saturday?  We can sit on that overstuffed chair and I’ll give you a handjob under the blanket._

_From Blaine:  I guess I can stay over._

_\--_

_From Sebastian:  If I ask you about coffee stains on my blazer, will you open up to me about your song selection for sectionals?_

_From Blaine:  Not a chance, Sebastian._

_From Sebastian:  What if I ask nicely?_

_From Blaine:  You won’t._

_From Sebastian:  No.  I won’t._

_From Sebastian:  What if I promise to fuck you first?  Then will you tell me?_

_From Blaine:  You won’t know unless you try._

_\--_

_“How do you feel about French food?”_

_“Sebastian?”_

_“You looked at your phone before you answered, you know it’s me.  So, French food?”_

_“Well, I’ve never had it before.”_

_“What lowlifes were you surrounding yourself with before you met me?”_

_“I—“_

_“There’s a new place in Columbus that my dad can’t stop talking about.  He took whichever girl he’s dating this week out to eat there.”_

_“That’s go od?”_

_“We should go there sometime.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.  Maybe next weekend?”_

_“Sure, yeah.  Yeah, that’d be great.”_

_\--_

_“Congratulations are in order.”_

_“They are?”_

_“To me.  From you.”_

_“What am I congratulating you for, Sebastian?”_

_“Scoring the winning goal and sending the Dalton lacrosse team to the playoffs.”_

_“Really?  Congratulations!”_

_“We play at home next Monday.  If you wanted to come to the game.”_

_“And cheer you on?”_

_“Whatever, I don’t care.  I just thought I’d let you know.”_

_“Can I make a sign for you and hold it up every time you score a goal?”_

_“I’m hanging up on you now.”_

_\--_

_From Sebastian:  Come help me pick out a camera next Wednesday?_

_From Blaine:  Of course.  : )_

_From Sebastian:  I really hate that you use those._

_From Blaine:  It’s an adorable quirk and you love it._

_From Sebastian:  I really don’t._

_From Blaine: : )_

_\--_

_From Sebastian: My dad’s law office scored tickets to some Broadway show playing in Columbus in a few weeks.  I tried pawning them off on the guys here but no one wants them.  Do you want to go?_

_From Blaine:  I know for a fact Trent would be interested._

_From Sebastian:  Whatever.  Are you coming with me or not?_

_From Blaine: I’d love to._

\--

“So tell me again which movie Jeff chose?”  Blaine asks, his cellphone tucked in between his shoulder and his ear as he drives.  It’s almost completely dark now, the sun setting earlier and earlier, and he flicks his headlights on, flooding the road with light.

“Do you think I was actually paying attention?”  Sebastian asks, and Blaine can picture him as he says it: reclined back on his bed, arms tucked under his head, his long legs stretched out until his toes almost hang over the edge.  Only a few more minutes and Blaine will be there to join him, curled up to his side or maybe pressed along his back.

Blaine laughs and switches the phone to his other ear.   “I picked _Casablanca_ three times in a row, until the council passed a rule on no black and white movies.”

Sebastian scoffs.  “You disappoint me,” he starts, _tsking_ Blaine’s movie choice.  “ _Casablanca_ is completely overrated.”

“Excuse me?”  Blaine says with mock offense.  “That movie is a classic.” He hears background noise; clothes sliding against a scratchy comforter, the slam of a door shutting, shoes clicking on hardwood floors.

“And Humphrey Bogart, Blaine?  Really?  He’s not even remotely attractive.  Give me Cary Grant any day,” Sebastian says and Blaine can hear his voice echoing off the walls of what must be an empty hallway.

“Are we really going to argue about _Casablanca_ versus _His Girl Friday_?”  Blaine asks as he turns into the Dalton campus.  There are a few more cars here than there were last weekend, but the parking lot is still relatively deserted.  “Because that’s not even a contest.”

He parks his car and reaches into the back seat for his overnight bag, no second guessing this time as he packed it at home.  Sebastian wants him here, asked him to stay for the entire weekend.  It makes Blaine feel light, giddy, happy in a way he can’t really describe.  When he turns back around he sees Sebastian stretched out against the brick of the dorm building, his shoulders pressed back and his legs kicked out in front of him.  He’s still wearing his Dalton uniform except for the tie and his smile is wide and real when he sees Blaine.

“They’re not even the same genre,” Sebastian says and Blaine is momentarily confused until he realizes that they’re still on the phone.  He watches as Sebastian’s lips are just a split second off from the words he hears in his ear.  “Are you going to stay in your car all night or what?”

He hangs up his phone quickly, shoving it into his pocket as he grabs his bag and opens his door.  He tries to hold back, but he’s jogging before he even realizes it’s happening, crossing over to Sebastian as quickly as he can.  Sebastian gives him a smirk and pushes off the wall, meeting Blaine and bumping their shoulders together.  Blaine tightens his grip on his overnight bag.

“So should we continue on about how wrong you are?” Sebastian asks as they fall into step, Blaine having to walk just a bit quicker to keep up with Sebastian’s long legs.

Blaine just rolls his eyes and ignores Sebastian’s teasing, holding the door opening for them as they step inside.  “Can we at least agree on Audrey Hepburn?” he asks as they walk over to the table for Blaine to sign in.  It’s the same kid who signed him in last time, but this time he stays quiet, silently writing down Blaine’s information and ignoring Sebastian’s stare.  He smiles as he hands Blaine back his license.  Blaine mouths ‘thank you’ as he slides his ID back into his wallet.

“I prefer Katharine,” Sebastian replies and Blaine just huffs out a laugh.

“Now you’re just arguing for the sake of it,” Blaine says as they make their way down the hallways and to Sebastian’s dorm room.

“Maybe I just want to get you riled up,” Sebastian says as they walk, Blaine sticking close to his side, their fingers brushing together as their arms swing between them.  Blaine can feel the words bubbling up in his throat, questions racing in the back of his head.  He wants to tell Sebastian how he feels;  how this is more than just sex, more than just a hook up, how he’s had feelings that he knows are real and true for weeks now, how he’s starting to suspect that Sebastian might too.  He wants to hold Sebastian’s hand and tell him that it’s okay if he feels more for Blaine than he ever expected, that Blaine didn’t plan on this happening either, that they’ll figure this whole thing out together.  Sebastian’s fingers start to curl around Blaine’s and he’s so, so sure.

“Blaine Anderson!”  rings out down the empty hallway and Sebastian’s hand slowly falls away.  Blaine almost reaches out for it, but Sebastian is tucking his hands into his pockets, nodding to the person coming up behind them.

“Nick!”  Blaine says, his voice echoing off the walls, stretching out his arms as Nick moves closer.

“Sebastian didn’t mention you were going to be here tonight,” Nick says as he pulls back from the hug, his smile huge and wide and so genuine.  Blaine’s heart tugs because he _misses_ this, and it’s so much worse with Sebastian at his side.  “Movie night is tomorrow,” Nick tells them, as if they weren’t aware.

“We know when it is,” Sebastian says, and Blaine notices how his eyes are drifting down the hall and focusing on the door to his room.

“So what are you doing here tonight?” Nick asks, continuing the conversation when it’s obvious to Blaine that Sebastian just wants it to be over.

“Well, we’re just—“  Blaine trails off, looking to Sebastian.

“We’re just hanging out, watching a quality movie tonight before we have to sit through whatever garbage you and Jeff picked for tomorrow,” Sebastian says as he starts to move away, tugging on the sleeve of Blaine’s coat.

“Wait,” Nick says, still oblivious to Sebastian’s attempt at leaving.  “So are you two, like, together?”  His eyes are big and hopeful and Blaine wants to pull him into another hug.

“We’ll see you tomorrow night,” Sebastian says, turning away completely and walking towards his room.  Blaine tries to say goodbye to Nick, to form some sort of sentence about how it was good to see him or how he’s looking forward to the movie tomorrow night, but it won’t come.  He tosses a quick wave over his shoulder and catches up to Sebastian quickly.  He wants to ask him why he didn’t say no to Nick, why he didn’t immediately laugh at the suggestion that they were dating.  Hopes swells in his chest and he promises himself he’ll bring it up to Sebastian this weekend; maybe when they’re curled together in Sebastian’s bed, hidden safe under the covers, Sebastian’s thumb running along the lines of Blaine’s hipbones and his guard let down.

“They fall all over you,” Sebastian says as he unlocks his door and lets both of them inside.  “It’s disgusting.  Nick looks at you like you just stepped out of Crawford Country Day.”

“Jealous?”  Blaine asks.  He’s joking, it’s clear in his tone and he says it with a smile, but Sebastian’s jaw sets in a hard line and he tugs at the zipper of Blaine’s jacket.

“Like I’d ever be jealous of Nick,” Sebastian says, pulling Blaine’s coat off his shoulders and tossing it onto his computer chair.  His hands grab at Blaine’s hip possessively.   “He thinks his uniform pants double as napkins and have you seen the posters in his room?”

“Mmm,” Blaine hums, neither agreeing or disagreeing, just a soft buzz as Sebastian leans forward and places soft, almost innocent kisses on Blaine’s neck.  He reaches his arms around and runs his fingers up Sebastian’s back, the familiar feeling of his blazer rubbing against the pads of Blaine’s fingers.

“Come on,” Sebastian urges, pulling at Blaine’s hips while they stumble over to the bed.  They take a moment to slip their shoes off and then Blaine is climbing across the mattress, knees and palms dragging along the covers, until he reaches the pillows and turns, falling onto his back.  He lets his knees fall apart before Sebastian even has to ask, knows by now the way Sebastian likes to climb up his body and fit himself into the small V between Blaine’s legs.

They don’t even need to say anything as they move, knowing and anticipating what the other wants.  Blaine’s hands grab at the lapels on Sebastian’s blazer, pulling him up closer as Sebastian’s fingers easily work the small buttons of Blaine’s cardigan open.  They’re good at this now after so many times and Blaine wonders if Sebastian can see it, if he even notices how effortlessly they move together.  But then Blaine doesn’t really have to wonder at all when Sebastian stops at the button in the middle of Blaine’s stomach, pausing to smile and drop a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips before pulling back and finishing.  Blaine lets go of Sebastian’s blazer to rise up on his elbows, helping Sebastian pull his cardigan off his arms, his shirt underneath tugged up off his shoulders and over his head easily.

“Missed you,” Sebastian confesses against Blaine’s neck, fitting his nose into the slope of Blaine’s shoulder, dragging his lips over to the dip of Blaine’s throat.  It’s slow, almost sweet, not rushed the way Sebastian usually is when they’re alone.

“I missed you, too,” Blaine says once he gets his mouth working again, Sebastian’s words stuck in his ears and maybe his heart.

Sebastian takes his time, kisses and nips and licks slowly down Blaine’s neck until he reaches his chest.  They have all the time in the world right now, could stay just like this all through the night and until the sun comes up in the morning.  They have nowhere else to be, no responsibilities to think about, locked away in Sebastian’s dorm room.  It’s getting harder for Blaine to breathe, the pleasure a heavy weight over him and a dull ache in his lungs as Sebastian continues placing kisses all along Blaine’s chest.  It’s sensual and intimate in a way Blaine’s not used to, not with Sebastian.  Of course they’ve fucked, but the way Sebastian is treating him right now is different; like Blaine is _important_ and he is so ready to tell Sebastian exactly how he feels.  He’s ready to say it, fear and urgency mixing dangerously in his stomach.  He opens his mouth, but stops when he hears murmured words as Sebastian kisses the skin that’s pulled tight over his ribs.  He can’t make out most of it, the words getting lost over the curves and dips and his stomach, but then he hears it, soft and low but crystal clear to Blaine’s ears.

“I fucking love you.”  It leaves Sebastian’s mouth quickly, his lips already forgetting the words as they brush against the bones of Blaine’s hips.

“What?”  Blaine says, frantic and unstable, pushing up onto his elbows and his heart pounding so loudly in his ears.  The words play on a loop, one right after another, repeating over and over as he stares down at Sebastian’s confused face.  “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I love fucking you’,” Sebastian clarifies, smirking as he moves lower and lower down Blaine’s stomach.  “And if you’re done asking questions, I’d like to get on with it.”  He’s smiling, so completely unaware of what he said, and he sinks his teeth into the soft skin right above the buckle on Blaine’s pants.

“No,” Blaine says, shaking his head wildly.  “You didn’t say that.  No.”  He’s confused, feels as though his heart might beat out of his chest, but he’s absolutely sure he heard Sebastian right.

Sebastian stops, pulling back from Blaine’s stomach, and cocks an eyebrow.  “Okay,” he says slowly, concern written on his face when he sees the way Blaine’s hands have started shaking.  “What do you think I said?  And why are you freaking out?”

He is freaking out.  His breath is stuck in his lungs and his eyes sting and it feels like there’s something lodged in his throat.  He lets out a breath and takes a deep one back in, tries to form the words but can’t quite seem to make his mouth move.  Sebastian waits, staring up at him with expectant eyes.  Blaine breathes again.

“You said,” he starts and then stops.  He realizes this could ruin everything, could end what they have if he tells Sebastian the truth.  But there’s hope swirling in his stomach, a dangerous amount, and he thinks of the way Sebastian looks at him lately; with fondness and care and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of love, too.  He has to tell Sebastian, has to take the chance that Sebastian feels the same.  “You said, ‘I fucking love you’.”  The room is silent and Blaine swears he can hear Sebastian’s heartbeat.  He closes his eyes and hopes, hopes so hard that Sebastian will tell him what he wants to hear.  He _knows_ Sebastian has feelings for him, no matter what the logical part of his brain keeps telling him.

Sebastian sighs and pulls back from Blaine’s stomach, scooting down the bed until they’re no longer touching at all and Blaine feels like he’s been covered in ice water.  He wraps his arms around his middle while Sebastian fidgets at the foot of his bed.

“Blaine…” he starts and Blaine’s heart drops down into his stomach like a rock, and he knows.  He knows the voice that Sebastian is using; the same voice his parents use when they’re _disappointed_ in him.  There’s no air left in the room and all he wants to do is leave before Sebastian can say any more, but his limbs feel like lead and he stays in place on the bed.  “I didn’t mean it like _that_.  I just mixed up my words,” Sebastian says, his eyes locked down and nowhere near Blaine.  “It’s not a big deal.  Let’s just forget it happened, okay?”  Sebastian finally looks up and smirks and the quirk of his lips makes Blaine sick to his stomach.  “Now, where were we?”

The headboard bumps into Blaine’s back before he’s even realizes that he’s moved, his head thumping against the hard plaster of the wall behind Sebastian’s bed.  He shakes his head, trying to get his voice to work.  “No,” he says finally, strangled around the lump in his throat.  He swallows hard but the lump stays.  “I have to go,” he says quickly, his hands shaking as he hastily tries to button up his sweater.  He can’t seem to get his fingers to work and he blinks back tears.  He won’t cry.  He won’t.

“Come on, Blaine,” Sebastian tries again, urging him.  “Just stay, alright?  You don’t have to go.”

But he can’t stay.  He needs to get this out, even if he knows nothing will come of it besides pain and heartache.

“I can’t—I can’t pretend anymore,” Blaine says softly, looking down to where his fingers are still fiddling with the buttons on his cardigan.  He can’t look at Sebastian, can’t take the pity and disappointment that he’s sure is there.  “I’ve had sex without feelings before, I’ve done it.  And maybe that’s what this started out as, but it’s not anymore.  Not for me.”  He needs to get through this, to keep going before he convinces himself that this was all a horrible idea.  “And if you don’t feel the same way.”  Blaine pauses and takes three deep breaths, in and out, steadying himself for what he’s about to say.  “If you don’t feel the same way, then I can’t do this anymore.”

The room is silent as Blaine finishes, but he still can’t bring himself to look up.  He waits for Sebastian to say something —anything —but the only sounds are Blaine’s breathing and doors shutting somewhere off in the distance.

“I’m going to go,” Blaine says because he can’t stay, he can’t be here surrounded by silence when all he wants is just a few words.  He turns to slide off the bed when Sebastian’s hand catches him by the ankle, stilling his movements.

“What do you want?”  Sebastian asks and he’s not desperate, he never is, but he’s close.

“Honestly?”  Blaine asks and finally looks up.  Sebastian’s eyes are wide open, his smirk gone.  “I want to be your boyfriend.”  No more side-stepping or playing games, no more beating around the bush.  Everything is out there now, so Blaine continues.  “And I think you want that, too.”

The hand around Blaine’s ankle tightens, Sebastian’s fingers holding tightly onto the bone.  “I don’t do boyfriends or monogamy, you know that,” he says.  “Fuck, Blaine.  I told you that right from the start.”

“Tell me you’ve slept with someone else since we got together,” Blaine challenges.  “Tell me it hasn’t only been me.”  He keeps his eyes locked with Sebastian, keeping strong on the outside but terrified of what Sebastian might say.  He already feels like his heart is breaking apart bit by bit and he prepares himself for the truth that there have been other guys.

“That’s not the point,” Sebastian says quickly.  “So what, I haven’t fucked anyone else in a few months.  I’m still not—I can’t be—fuck.  Everything was going so well, why’d you have to say anything?”

Blaine shrugs, defeated, knows Sebastian has made up his mind.  “I can’t stop how I feel and I’m not going to lie about it anymore,” he says, his fingers finally working enough to slip the last few buttons through their holes.   He tugs his ankle out of Sebastian’s grip and slides off the bed, his legs unsteady as he stands.  “You have to understand that I didn’t think this would happen.  I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way about someone again.”  He scans the room, finding his overnight bag.  He laughs, the sound hollow as it echoes in the empty room, remembering how excited he had been just a few short hours ago.  He grips the handle tight and turns back to Sebastian, who hasn’t moved from his spot on the bed.  “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did.  And I can’t keep falling harder and harder while I’m still just a fuck buddy for you.”

Sebastian sighs loudly, running his hand through hair and gripping it at the end.  Blaine’s spent enough time with him over the past few months to know he wants to say something; probably to curse at Blaine for messing up a good thing, to be annoyed that he’s going to have to go back to Scandals to find another guy to fuck.  Blaine’s eyes burn and there’s a tightness in his lungs and he needs to get out of here, _right now_.

“Just—“ Blaine starts, his hand gripping the door handle and hearing it shake.  “Don’t call me or text me.  Please.”  He doesn’t wait for Sebastian’s answer, opening the door before he can change his mind and fall back into bed.  It would be so easy; to kiss Sebastian and just forget he ever said anything, to go back to the way things were.  But he can’t, he knows he can’t, even if his entire body feels like it’s being pulled back to Sebastian’s dorm room as he drags his feet down the long hallways and back to his car.

He’s thankful that he doesn’t run into any Warblers, not wanting to deal with their questions or eagerness to fix whatever’s wrong with him.  He moves as quickly as his body will carry him, careful not to break into a full out run and raise suspicion from any teachers that happen to still be around.  He makes it back to his car completely by memory; taking corners without looking up, his hands scraping against the door as he pushes it open and making his way outside, his vision blurred with unshed tears.  The cold air calms him down a bit, enough to take a few full breaths as he scans the parking lot for his car.  His blinks, clearing his eyes and trying to concentrate, his mind a jumbled mess as he spots his car a few yards away and starts walking over.  His keys tremble in his hands and it takes him three tries to unlock the door.

“Stupid,” he mumbles to himself, shaking his head as he starts his car and begins to drive.  “I’m so stupid,” he repeats.  He knew what he was getting into when he started sleeping with Sebastian, knew that all Sebastian wanted was sex and that he could never give him more.  And that was fine at first, it was enough.  Blaine didn’t want a boyfriend; someone who would ignore his calls, who would prioritize his job over their relationship.  He didn’t want the effort when in the end, it might have been all be for nothing.

But Sebastian didn’t do any of those things—didn’t dump Blaine’s call to voicemail or ignore him for someone more important.  It makes Blaine’s heart ache and his chest squeeze up tight, but he knows Sebastian would have been worth the effort.

He takes the long way home to try and clear his head.  He thinks about glee club, about Cooper out in LA, what his mom made for dinner last night and when he last took his car for an oil change.  He keeps his mind off of Sebastian; doesn’t think about his wide smile or his pleased smirk, the way his blazer sits on his shoulders, how his face lit up each time he spotted Blaine across the bar at Scandals, his warm hands and his cold toes, each easy compliment that he never hesitated to hand out.  He misses Sebastian already and he feels the tears welling up again, sitting on the rims of his eyes but not spilling over.  He needs to focus on driving, on getting home safely, not on the part of his heart that he just left in a dorm room at Dalton.

It’s late by the time he pulls into his driveway, all of the lights off and the house dark.  He takes an unsteady breath in and gets out of the car, knowing he has to be quiet so he doesn’t wake his parents.  His overnight bag mocks him from the passenger seat and he grabs it before slamming his car door shut.

He sneaks inside, not wanting to deal with the questions his parents will inevitably have.  He wants to forget that this night ever happened, wipe it from his memory completely, but he knows it’s useless.  His fingers already itch to text Sebastian, to talk until Sebastian invites him back to Dalton.  He doesn’t, though.  He can’t see Sebastian when he made it so perfectly clear that he doesn’t feel the same, that he doesn’t want Blaine for anything more than sex.  Blaine has been hurt too much, too frequently, and he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.

The lights are off in his room and he leaves them that way, dropping his bag to the floor and stumbling over to his bed.  He presses himself into the mattress, burying his face in his pillows and finally allowing himself to cry.  He cries until his pillow is damp and he can’t catch his breath, and then he starts to yell, the pillow muffling his exhausted voice.  He shouts out all the horrible things he’s feeling, until his voice is hoarse and his throat hurts and he can’t hear the sound in his ears anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Monday morning is so much harder than Blaine ever imagined it could be.  Saturday and Sunday were manageable.  He’d convinced his parents he was sick all weekend, staying curled up in bed while his phone lay silent by his side.  He slept mostly, playing up the stomach bug he pretended to catch and tried to forget about the way Sebastian had looked at him right before he closed the door.  He left his overnight bag in the same spot on the floor, letting his clothes gather wrinkles as they sat in the corner of his room.  He went into the bag just once to get his hair gel before school, kicking the lump of clothes when he noticed that he still had Sebastian’s sweatpants tucked into the bottom of the bag.

\--

 

Sam notices that something is wrong as soon as he meets Blaine by his locker.  His hand is on Blaine’s shoulder immediately and he’s got a helpful look on his face, his eyes wide and earnest when he senses Blaine’s distress.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as Blaine digs through his locker for his chemistry book.  He can’t tell Sam the truth and that makes him feel even worse.  “And don’t say nothing,” he says before Blaine can deny it.  “I can tell by your sad eyebrows and tense shoulders.”  Sam smiles hopefully and Blaine can’t help but give a sad smile back.

“I can’t really talk about it,” Blaine says, closing his locker door shut and turning to look at Sam.  “I know you want to help me out and I appreciate it, but,” he sighs, leaning back against his locker, his head thumping against the metal.  “Can we just not?”

“I’m not letting you off that easy,” Sam says.  He gets a stern look on his face, the same one Blaine recognizes from when he tells his younger siblings it’s bed time.  “We’re talking and then we’ll hug it out, like bros.”

Sam is eager to help and Blaine wants to tell him everything.  He wants to open up and explain why he’s been so inexplicably happy for the past two months, why he hasn’t mentioned Kurt or New York, why his wardrobe has been almost painfully bright and cheerful, why he’s started volunteering for solos in glee again.  But none of his friends will understand why he was seeing Sebastian, why being with him made Blaine so happy.  They only see the shield Sebastian puts up as a disguise, a defense and a barrier so people can’t get in.  They haven’t taken the time to work through that, to crack open Sebastian’s hard exterior and see what he’s really like.  It makes a sudden weight appear on Blaine’s chest, heavy and persistent, thinking back to being curled up in Sebastian’s bed before everything came to a crashing stop.  He doesn’t want to go through it again, to relive the heartache from Friday night while he explains to Sam what happened.

“We will talk about it, I promise,” Blaine insists and maybe they will, someday.  “But for right now, can you just take my mind off of it?  Please?”

Sam eyes Blaine carefully, like he’s not sure what the right move is.  Finally he rolls his eyes and sighs.  “Fine,” he says, perking up.  “Hey, do you want to hear about the club I’ve been thinking about starting?  I’ll even let you be president!”

\--

The Secret Society of Superheroes Club is a decent distraction.  Most of the kids from glee join and a few other students that Blaine doesn’t really recognize.  It’s okay though, because there are a lot of great costumes and Sam and Artie toss superhero jokes back and forth that make Blaine laugh until his sides hurt.  It’s just what he needs; hanging out with his friends to forget about the tight, empty feeling that won’t leave his stomach, to ignore how Sebastian had listened to his request and not tried to contact him.  He knows it’s for the best, that he needs to start forgetting about the freckles that dot the bottom of Sebastian’s stomach, the way his eyebrows draw together when Blaine’s fingers dig into his sides, his laugh and his sure hands and every other small, inconsequential part of Sebastian that made Blaine think that the idea of falling in love again was possible.

They’re in a middle of a discussion of their super powers, Blaine’s phone face down on the table and silent, when there’s a commotion by the door of the classroom.  Blaine hears something about the nationals trophy being stolen and he’s up with the rest of the group, running down the hallway, his Nightbird cape floating behind him.  It’s a silly distraction but it’s just what he needs and he doesn’t think about Sebastian at all when he rounds the corner into the choir room.

Until he sees the opening seconds of the video, the red and navy blue so obvious to him, even with a distorted face and voice.  He doesn’t need to know who’s speaking to know that it’s a Warbler, the striped tie and emblem are the first things his eyes are drawn to.  He can tell immediately that it’s not Sebastian; the face is too square and the hair isn’t quite high enough.  He doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse knowing that Sebastian isn’t the one behind the video.

The video cuts to black and everyone starts shouting, talking over each other as they try to come up with a plan to get the trophy back.  Blaine stays quiet and listens as their voices get louder, their ideas getting more and more outrageous, until he cuts Brittany off in the middle of her sentence.

“I’ll do it,” he says loudly, almost shouting in order to be heard.  They quiet down and look over at Blaine, some of the newer kids looking at him with shock.  He wants to apologize for yelling, but he knows it’s the only way to get through with this group.  “I’ll go,” he says again, quieter this time.  “I know the school, I know most of the guys in the Warblers.  It makes the most sense to see if I can talk to them.” He tries to say it with confidence, but he’s dying on the inside, nervous about the certainty of running into Sebastian if he goes to Dalton to get the trophy back.

“I’m coming with you,” Sam says, stepping though the small group until he’s standing by Blaine.  “You don’t have to go by yourself.”  He holds his hand up for a high-five and Blaine wants to pull him into a hug.

“I think it’s better if I go alone,” Blaine says.  “I think they’ll be more likely to talk if it’s just one of us.”  What he doesn’t say is the real reason he can’t have Sam come; he has no idea how he’s going to act once he sees Sebastian again.  He feels on edge at his own school, tiptoeing a fine line between okay and barely hanging on.  It’s going to be even worse when he gets to Dalton, all the memories that will come back the moment he steps inside, and he can’t have Sam there and have to explain to him what’s going on.

“No way, dude,” Sam says, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head.  “You’re not talking me out of it.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Blaine starts, trying to think quickly.  He knows Sam just wants to help, to make sure that Blaine is okay and that he doesn’t want Blaine dealing with this alone.  “I’ll go on the first trip alone and lull them into a false sense of security.  We’ll go back later in the week and take the trophy back.  We’ll even dress up in our superhero costumes.”  He gives Sam his most sincere smile.  “What do you say?”

Sam eyes his warily, as if he doesn’t completely trust what Blaine is saying.  He finally shrugs a shoulder before agreeing.  “I guess that could work,” he says, and then adds seriously.  “And dude.  They’re not costumes.  Show a little respect.”

\--

Blaine puts it off for three days.  He blames it on building up his courage, but he knows the real reason he hasn’t driven out to Westerville is because he’s not ready to see Sebastian again so soon.  Sam asks him about it on Wednesday, if he’s gone and how it went and when they’re going back, and Blaine knows he can’t wait any longer.

He takes as long as he can by his locker at the end of the school day, chatting with Tina until she says goodbye with a kiss to his cheek.  He takes the long way out to his car; slow steps down the science wing and out through the courtyard, up the stairs and to the parking lot.  The school is almost empty by the time he crosses the asphalt, most of the students over at the fields for football practice or on a bus home.  There are hardly any cars left and Blaine feels a small amount of panic start to rise up his throat as he unlocks his door.

He drives on autopilot.  He tries to keep Sebastian off his mind, to think about what he’s going to say to whomever the head Warbler is now, and how he’s going to get the trophy back. (Sebastian said his name was Hunter, didn’t he?  Blaine remembers dancing at Scandals, Sebastian pressed hot and tight against his body, his lips moving against Blaine’s ear as he told him about a new Warbler named Hunter.)  His palms slip against the steering wheel as he makes a turn, damp from nerves as he drives closer and closer to the school.

Maybe Sebastian went home for the night.  Maybe he went to the movies or to the mall or to the Lima Bean, to anywhere that’s not Dalton.  It hasn’t even been a week since Blaine last saw him and it feels like too much too soon.  He can still see the apologetic look that was on Sebastian’s face every time he closes his eyes, still hears the words ringing in his ears.  It hurts to think about, but he needs to remember it, to remind himself what Sebastian had said in his dorm room.  He needs to hold on to it, to use it to stay strong because he’s not sure how else he’s going to say no when he sees Sebastian again.

It takes Blaine twelve minutes to leave his car once he pulls into the parking lot at Dalton.  He knows because he watches the minutes tick by on his cellphone, his feet bouncing and his fingers tapping against the steering wheel.  He contemplates calling Sam and asking him to come out, to confront the Warblers that took the trophy while Blaine stays in the car as the lookout.  He has Sam’s number up, his thumbs tracing the screen, when he sighs deeply and tosses his phone onto the passenger seat.  He knows he needs to do this alone, but the longer he waits in his car, the harder it gets.

It’s a text from Sam that finally gets Blaine moving.

**From Sam: hows it going???**

Blaine considers not answering or maybe lying, telling Sam that the Warblers wouldn’t give him any information on where the trophy was.  Instead he decides to be truthful, as much as he can be.  _Got stuck in some pretty heavy traffic, but I’m here now and about to head inside._

**From Sam: good luck dude! Text me when youre done!**

He’s put it off long enough.  Blaine gets out of his car slowly, smoothing down the front of his sweater vest as he stands up straight.  He doesn’t want to rush inside but it’s quickly getting uncomfortably chilly out and he’d forgotten his jacket back at school.  He takes the long way though, bypassing the large front entrance in favor of the smaller door in the back of the building.  It’s a short walk to the library once he’s inside.  He’s sure the Warblers aren’t there and he needs to compose himself before he goes and talks to them about getting the trophy back, before he sees Sebastian again.

As soon as he steps into the library, he realizes it’s useless.  There are memories everywhere in the building reminding him of Sebastian, of the two of them together.  He walks through the rows of books and to the back wall and sees that the two arm chairs are still positioned in the same spot, tucked together and facing the large window.  He needs to get out of here as soon as possible, away from Dalton and the reminders of Sebastian that are everywhere.  He hurries out of the library, getting scolded as he lets the door slam behind him.  He turns the corner, the bottom of his shoes skidding against the shining marble, ready to run down the stairs and back out to his car, when he stops a few steps down.

Sebastian is standing at the bottom of the stairs, hands in his pockets, unmoving as students bustle around him.  He looks up and finds Blaine, catching his eye and giving him a small smile.

Blaine’s heart starts to speed up, thumping loudly in his chest, the sound ringing in his ears as he tries to blink away the blurriness that has started at the corner of his eyes.  There’s a familiar swoop in the pit of his stomach, one that he’s had before when standing on this staircase.  It’s altogether different this time though, accompanied with a difficulty to breathe and shaking hands.  Blaine doesn’t know how long he stands there, just staring down at Sebastian, but soon he hears a polite, “excuse me,” from a student trying to make his way around, and Blaine’s feet start to move.  He only has a few seconds to get his brain working, to think of something—anything—to say to Sebastian.  His mind is still blank as he climbs downs the final few stairs, his heart pounding with each step he takes closer to Sebastian.

It turns out that his dry throat and locked jaw don’t matter because it’s Sebastian that speaks first.

“Blaine,” he says, drawing out the vowels in his name.  “If you’re trying to spy on us, your sweater vest and short jeans are a dead giveaway.”  He tries to smirk but Blaine can tell the difference, watching closely as Sebastian spreads his shoulders in an obvious attempt at casualness, hands still deep in his pockets.  The way he’s standing so carefree, with no hint of hurt or regret or even an ounce of sadness, makes Blaine tighten his fists and set his jaw.  He feels foolish for thinking Sebastian would show any remorse or try to apologize.  He’s looking at Blaine as if nothing has happened between them, raising a cocky eyebrow at Blaine’s silence.

“You know why I’m here,” Blaine says, keeping his voice even as he walks down the last step.  “Just bring me to wherever it is you’re keeping the trophy.”  He doesn’t stop himself from sighing, frustrated with Sebastian but even angrier with himself for the way his heart still speeds up when he looks Sebastian in the eye.

“What?  You don’t want to make a quick stop off at my room?”  Sebastian suggests and Blaine feels like he’s going to throw up.  He knows the closest bathroom is on the other side of the building, so he swallows down the bubble in his throat.

“Stop,” he says, voice strangled.  He hears himself speak and it’s as if he’s choking on the words.  It hurts to hear Sebastian invite him back to his dorm room, a cold reminder that all Sebastian wanted from Blaine was sex.  He walks past Sebastian quickly, their fingers almost brushing together.  There are only a few spots in Dalton that can fit all of the Warblers, and Blaine walks down the familiar hall towards the senior commons.

Sebastian catches up quickly, trying to knock their shoulders together, but Blaine dodges him.  “Hey, I was just kidding around,” Sebastian says.  “Don’t tell me you lost your sense of humor in the past few days.”

“It’s not funny,” Blaine insists, keeping his eyes straight ahead and away from Sebastian’s face.  He’s determined to not let Sebastian know how much this is affecting him, how close he is from turning around and running back to his car.  If he hadn’t promised Sam he would find the trophy, Blaine knows he would be on his way back to Lima right now.

They stop in front of two large wooden doors that are closed, but Blaine knows what’s on the other side and can hear people talking.  He takes a deep breath and turns to Sebastian.  “Please leave,” he says, keeping his voice low and even.  “Please.  You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t care about me and I know you wouldn’t waste your time with something as stupid as stealing our nationals trophy, so please.  Just leave so I can do this and get out of here.”  He’s pleading by the end of it, begging Sebastian to turn around and go, to stay away until Blaine is finished and can drive back to McKinley.

What he doesn’t expect is for Sebastian to reach out for him, grabbing Blaine by the elbow before he can turn the knob on the door.  “Look, I’m sorry,” Sebastian says, his teeth clenched tightly together as he speaks.  “I don’t know how to act around you now.  You asked me not to call you, so I didn’t.  But Blaine,” he stops and Blaine swears he can feel Sebastian’s hands shaking.  “But Blaine, I wanted to.  Every day.”

“I don’t believe you,” Blaine says, and he doesn’t.  He can’t.  He can’t let himself believe that Sebastian has been dying to talk to him, has been forcing himself to not pick up the phone and call.  He knows how Sebastian’s feels, has his harsh words etched into his memory, so he tugs his arms away and swings open the doors.

He walks down the familiar stairs, Sebastian right behind him.  Blaine ignores him, walking down into the middle of the room, eyes moving as he tries to see which of the Warbles he recognizes.  There are a few—Nick, Jeff, Trent—but most of the blazers in the room belong to people he’s never seen before.  He remembers when these people were his best friends and now he doesn’t know who half of them are.  He tries not to think about it, his mind occupied with watching the way Sebastian crosses the room, his shoulders beginning to sag as he stops next to a Warbler sitting in a large arm chair, and points at Blaine.  Sebastian whispers something and the other boy nods and Blaine laughs humorlessly when he notices the white cat perched on his lap.

“So you’re the famous Blaine Anderson,” he says as he stands up from his chair and Blaine realizes that this must be Hunter.  He almost says it too, almost blurts out the things Sebastian told him when they were together at Scandals; when they were talking about school and friends and music and not fucking, when they were on their way to friendship and maybe something more.  Blaine needs to take a deep breath before he can say anything.

“And you are?” Blaine asks and his voice barely wavers.  He counts that as a win.

“Hunter Clarington.  I just transferred to Dalton this year from my military school in Colorado Springs, where I led my choir to a regionals championship.  I’m honestly surprised you’ve never heard of me.”  He walks slowly across the room until he’s only a few feet from Blaine, and looks him right in the eye.  “Oh, and I’m the new captain of The Warblers.”

“That’s all well and good,” Blaine says, trying to pretend as if none of this matters, but he can’t help but glance over Hunter’s shoulder and notice the way Sebastian is looking at him.  “But what does this have to do with you taking our trophy?”

“It’s simple, really,” Hunter says, his teeth large and white as he smiles.  “I won’t settle for anything less than the best for the Warblers.  And from the way these guys talk about you,” he motions to the Warblers that are sitting on the surrounding couches, signaling out Sebastian last.  “You’re the best.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says, jerking his eyes away from Sebastian and back to Hunter.  “But I don’t understand what this has to do with you stealing the trophy.”

Hunter throws his head back in a laugh.  “Because I get what I want.  And what I want is you back on the Warblers.”  Hunter laughs louder at the shocked look on Blaine’s face.  “Don’t be so surprised.  I’ll do anything to win.  So, McKinley gets their trophy and we get Blaine Warbler back.”  He walks closer, until they’re just inches apart.  “You miss it here, I saw it the second you walked in.  Don’t try and deny it, you want to be back at Dalton.  So you see, everyone wins.”

Blaine wants to tell Hunter how wrong he is, how much he loves McKinley and how he doesn’t miss the high ceilings and dark wood of Dalton.  His voice is stuck, lodged like a ball in his throat, making it difficult for him to swallow, let alone speak.  It’s quiet for a moment as Blaine tries to pull himself together, to stop seriously thinking about Hunter’s offer.  It’s Sebastian that speaks up, coming to stand beside Hunter.

“You belong here, Blaine,” he says, the desperation from earlier gone from his voice completely.  He looks over at Hunter and they share a smile.

“We decided to get you a little present to help sway your decision,” Hunter says, motioning Jeff over.  Blaine recognizes the blue and red immediately in Jeff’s hands and his heart starts to beat faster.  Jeff holds up the blazer, ready to open it for Blaine to slide his arms in, when Sebastian tugs it away.  Jeff’s eyebrows draw together but no one says anything.

“Once a Warbler,” Sebastian says.  The second half of his sentence goes unsaid as he holds the blazer out and Blaine hesitates.  He can’t see Sebastian standing behind him, but he can feel when Sebastian’s breath just barely brushes against the back of his neck.  He tries to stop the memories from coming back; of the two of them pressed into Sebastian’s small bed, just a left and two rights down the hallway from where they are right now, Sebastian’s arms around Blaine’s middle and his chin hooked over Blaine’s shoulder.  If Blaine took two steps back —just two small steps —it wouldn’t be the same, but it would be close enough.

He sticks his arms back and Sebastian slides the blazer up and onto Blaine’s shoulders.  The intimacy of it hits Blaine right in the chest and his breath catches; Sebastian dressing him, putting clothes on him, instead of taking them off like he’d done so many times before.  It’s new and Blaine can’t tamper down the fleeting feeling of happiness before he remembers that it means absolutely nothing to Sebastian.  Instead, he focuses on how good it feels to put on the Dalton uniform again, the way it sits on the curve of his shoulder and the feeling of the sleeves brushing against the bones of his wrist.  It’s familiar, a comfort that Blaine’s been looking for since his heart was broken the first time.

“I’d say this calls for a celebration,” Hunter says, clapping Blaine on the shoulder.  “What would you say to an impromptu performance, Blaine Warbler?”

Blaine shakes his head immediately, knowing he’s not in the right state of mind to be singing and that he probably shouldn’t be performing with the group of people that stole his team’s nationals trophy.  But he hears the whistles and the _oh_ ’s and he can’t stop himself from humming along.  He recognizes the song, knows the lyrics and the message, and he wonders if Sebastian was the one to pick it out.

It’s easy to fall into step with the Warblers.  He remembers their basic moves, the way they move their hands and the steps for their feet.  He buttons the blazer up and it all comes back as if he never left.  He tries to remember all of the past performing he’s done in this room instead of the way Sebastian keeps looking down whenever their eyes happen to catch.

He dances easily around the room, sharing smiles and handshakes with his old friends.  He’s starting to feel good, to forget about the constant ache in his chest, when he looks up at the Warblers lining up across the room, Sebastian right in the middle.  He knows he should turn around and walk back to the Warblers sitting on the couch, but his body pulls him forward, as if there’s an invisible string bringing the two of the together.  Sebastian steps forward as Blaine does the same, their arms coming out to their sides.  Blaine aches to pull Sebastian in for a hug, to tuck his face in the crook of his neck and breathe deeply and just _forget_ about everything that happened.  But their eyes meet and he can’t forget the way he felt in Sebastian’s room, can’t forget crying into his pillow with Sebastian’s words on a loop in his head.  So instead he looks Sebastian in the eye for a final time and sings, “ _please remind me who I really am_ ,” before turning around and not looking back.

The rest of the performance is a blur.  Blaine makes a point to keep his eyes wherever Sebastian isn’t, spinning in circles and sidestepping to avoid seeing him.  It hurts, of course it does, but it’s nothing compared to the pain he feels when Sebastian smiles at him or reaches a hand out that Blaine knows isn’t part of the choreography. 

He leaves as soon as the song is done, slipping off the blazer and dropping into Hunter’s lap.  It’s too much and he feels like Sebastian is everywhere, surrounding him, and Blaine struggles to breathe as he leaves the common room and hurries out to his car.  He feels claustrophobic and it takes a more than a few deep breaths of fresh air before Blaine is settled down enough to find his car and drive home.

He calls Sam on the way back and tells him bits and pieces of what happened.

“Dude, you’re not leaving us for them, are you?” Sam says, his calm voice suddenly panicked.

“No, no way, of course not,” Blaine reassures him.  He doesn’t tell him the real reason; that he could hardly stand to be in the same room as Sebastian for one song, that he could never be in the same school as him.  “But I think it’s better if you go back without me.”

“What do you mean?  You’re Nightbird!”

Blaine knows he can’t go back, even if it means not getting the trophy.  He can’t see Sebastian again, can’t go through the pain of seeing him pretend like nothing is wrong and like nothing is bothering him.  It hurts too much and Blaine needs to start getting over him, to not be constantly reminded with each trip out to Dalton.  He sighs heavily.  “I know, but they’re expecting me.  If you and Joe go and steal it back, they’ll never know what hit them.”  His voice sounds fake even to his own ears.

“Oh yeah, good point!” Sam says excitedly.  “You’re sure, though?  You’re not going to feel left out?”

Blaine thinks about how he can tell the difference between Sebastian’s smirk and when he’s genuinely smiling.  He thinks about the way Sebastian’s voice sounds when his mouth is pressed to Blaine’s ear, how he can feel the vibration against his skin.  He remembers how the skin on Sebastian’s neck tastes different from the skin covering his hips.  He knows how many freckles are on the left side of Sebastian’s ribcage and how they curl onto Sebastian’s back.  He thinks of the sounds Sebastian can’t hold back when Blaine skims his teeth along the inside of his thigh, the way their knees fit together when they’re curled on Sebastian’s bed, how Sebastian had talked to Blaine about college and his future when no one else had cared.

“Yeah Sam,” Blaine says.  “I’m sure.”


	10. Chapter 10

The thing is; Blaine knows it’s a bad idea as soon as he thinks it.  There’s really no reason for him to go back to Scandals.  He had thought going back to Dalton was hard, being faced with the memories of the time he spent there with Sebastian.  Going to Scandals, however, is something entirely different.  It’s where everything started between the two of them, where they got to know each other again and where they spent most of their time.  It’s where Blaine discovered just how far he has to stretch to place a kiss on Sebastian’s lips, learned how well his arms fit around Sebastian’s shoulders, the way Sebastian looks after a round of dancing and how low his voice gets when he whispers in Blaine’s ear. 

It’s been a month since he’s seen Sebastian; four Fridays that he’s stayed at home listening to music in his bedroom or laid out on Sam’s living room floor with a movie playing in the background.  He feels better with each day, the gnawing ache in his stomach a little less each time he opens his eyes after a night of sleep.  It’s not gone, not by a long shot, but he refuses to let himself wallow like he did with Kurt.  He wasted so much time pining for something that didn’t even exist, a relationship that had fundamentally changed, and he won’t let himself do that again.  He still has the urge to pick up his phone and text Sebastian, to complain about glee club or the bathrooms at public schools or even just a simple _, I miss you_.  He doesn’t, though, and his phone never lights up with _Sebastian_ written across the screen.

\--

He’s in his room, lying on his bed and flicking his thumb over the screen of his iPod like any other Friday night, when his mother pokes her head into the doorway.

“Sweetheart,” she says softly, stepping into the room.  “Your dad and I are going into Columbus for dinner with some of his business partners and we won’t be home until late.  There are leftovers in the fridge, in case you get hungry.”

“Thanks, mom,” Blaine says, angling his cheek up as his mother places a kiss down.  She sweeps a worrying thumb across his forehead.

“Have a good night, sweetie,” she says fondly, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.  Blaine hears them getting ready in the hallway, shoes and jackets sliding on, and then leaving, the car’s tiring crunching on the bit of snow that’s started to fall.

Blaine sits in silence, his fingers clutching his iPod tightly, as the idea hits him.  He needs to know if he’s over Sebastian, if he can go out and talk to someone new and not wish that they were a little bit taller, that their eyes were green instead of brown.  He can’t be caught up on old feelings forever; he knows that now, after everything that happened with Kurt.  He’s up and off his bed before he can second guess himself, checking his hair in the mirror and straightening out the collar of his sweater.  He’s always been impulsive, and maybe that’s a bad thing, but he can’t help the tiny bubble of excitement that he feels at the thought of going back to Scandals.

The only thing that makes him pause is knowing that Sebastian will probably be there.  There’s no reason to think he stopped going once Blaine broke things off.  It’s probably the opposite if Blaine’s being honest with himself; Sebastian’s free to dance and kiss and fuck any boy he wants now that Blaine isn’t there to take up his time.  Thinking about it makes him cringe, imagining Sebastian and a new boy wrapped around each other while Sebastian whispers filthy secrets into his ear.  But maybe that’s a good thing.  Maybe seeing Sebastian with someone else with help Blaine realize that things are over and done, that he can move on and dance with a new boy of his own.  It’s not what Blaine wants, but maybe it’s what he needs.

By the time he’s made it out to his car, teeth chattering from the cold and from nerves, the idea of going out to Scandals is looking better and better.

\--

“Long time no see,” the bouncer says as he waves Blaine in, not bothering to check his ID.  Blaine blushes just a little, embarrassed that he seems to have become a regular at a bar.  He knows it won’t be like before, when he was coming here once a week to meet up with Sebastian.  He wants to satisfy his curiosity tonight, needs to know if he can be around someone new in a sexual way without feeling sick to his stomach.

He gives the bouncer a small smile as he moves passed, turning sideways to fit in between the bodies crowded near the doorway.  Everything about Scandals is exactly how he remembers it —down to the same songs on the same rotation —except for the feeling of worry circling in his stomach.   He’s usually bubbling with nervous excitement when he walks through the door, his eyes scanning the dance floor for a familiar tall, lean body.  He’s still looking for Sebastian now, but this time he hopes he doesn’t see him, hopes that Sebastian found a newer, hipper bar in Columbus to pick up guys.

Blaine makes his way to the bar, knowing that a drink will calm his nerves.  He’s not expecting anything tonight, doesn’t even want to bring someone back home.  Tonight isn’t about that; it’s about working his way to getting over Sebastian —one small, painful step at a time.  He orders a beer, even though it’s not what he wants, but every other kind of liquor reminds Blaine of the way it tastes on Sebastian’s lips.  He swallows a large gulp, grimacing as the cheap liquid slides down his throat.  It doesn’t burn the same way that first tequila shot did all those months ago, back when Blaine was clueless and a little naïve and only saw Sebastian as a potential hookup.  He takes another long pull and the beer begins to do its job, warming up his stomach and calming his jittery hands.  He doesn’t chance a look out to the dance floor again, instead focusing on the liquor bottles lining the wall in front of him.

“What’s your favorite?” A voice asks from his side and Blaine jumps in surprise, almost dropping his beer.

“Excuse me?” he asks, turning to face the man next to him.  Blaine doesn’t recognize him, although, why would he?  He’d had blinders on when he came to Scandals before, eyes only for Sebastian.  The guy next to him is a little taller than Blaine (not tall enough, his brain supplies), and he can’t help but think that there’s nothing special at all about this man’s appearance.  His hair is too light, blonde all the way through, and his eyes are too dark, his rounded nose looking out of place.  Blaine shakes the thoughts out of his head.  That’s not what this night is about, to pick apart new guys for not living up to someone else.

The man nods to the bottles.  “You’re staring like you’re trying to figure out your next drink.  What’s your favorite?”

“Oh,” Blaine laughs.  “No, I’m good with beer for now.  I guess I was just thinking.”  He stares at the bottle that the bartender always grabs for Sebastian, clear liquid with black writing across the label.

“Well,” he says, moving in closer until their elbows bump on the top of the bar.  “If you’re coming to a place like this, thinking should be the last thing you’re doing.”  He offers Blaine a smile and it’s so sleazy that it turns Blaine’s stomach.  “I’m Greg.”

“Blaine,” he says, offering his hand because even if this guy isn’t his type, he still has his manners.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Greg says.  The smile stays on his face, not even bothering to hide his interest as he looks Blaine up and down.  “I see you’re without your escort tonight.”

“My escort?” Blaine repeats, eyebrows closing together in confusion.  He takes another sip of his beer.

“Yeah, the guy you’re always in here with,” he explains, moving closer.  “Tall, lanky, ridiculous haircut.”  He pauses to let Blaine speak, but Blaine is silent.  “I’ve been checking you out for weeks, but every time you come in here, you’re attached to his hip.”

Blaine swallows nothing, his throat suddenly dry despite his half empty beer.  “No, it wasn’t like that,” he says, each word causing a new spike of pain in his chest.  “We were just friends.”  It hurts to say, to finally admit out loud that that’s all they ever were, and maybe not even that, not to Sebastian anyway.  Blaine stares down at his beer bottle, this thumb picking at the peeling label.  He doesn’t want to talk to the stranger, doesn’t want anything to do with his blatant suggestions.  All he can think about is Sebastian; how Sebastian would be talking to him if he were here, how his hands would drape around Blaine’s waist, the way he’d look Blaine right in the eye before leaning down for a kiss.

“I think I need to leave,” Blaine says, sliding his beer across the bar.  He realizes now that this was a bad idea, that he’s not ready for whatever the next step is in getting over Sebastian.

“Aw, come on,” Greg pleads, an insincere pout on his lips.  “You can stay for one more drink.”

“I’m actually really tired, it just hit me,” Blaine lies.  He doesn’t want to deal with pushy men that he has no interest in trying to feed him alcohol and take him outside, until he’s down on his knees or pressed into the brick.

“Can I at least get your number?” Greg asks persistently.  “Maybe meet up the next time you’re here?”

He sighs, aggravated that this guy can’t seem to understand that Blaine wants nothing to do with him.  He turns his entire body away, inching down the bar until they’re no longer touching.  “I’m sorry, but I don’t think so,” Blaine says, polite but direct.

Greg opens his mouth, surely another pushy remark ready at his lips, when another voice cuts through.

“Can’t you take a hint?” Sebastian says, sliding behind Greg and pushing at his shoulder until he stumbles away from the bar.

Blaine can’t stop his jaw from dropping open in shock, quick breaths leaving his mouth as he watches Sebastian eye the stranger.  He can’t process what’s going on, certain that he’s made up Sebastian completely.  He wants to see him so badly that he’s imagined him here, moving this unwanted man away from them.

“What the fuck,” Greg grumbles, stepping forward into Sebastian’s space before looking at Blaine.  “I thought you said you ditched him?”

Blaine can’t even begin to form words, his mouth a small ‘ _o_ ’ as he looks between the two.  He grips onto his beer bottle tighter, needing to hold onto something while his hands itch to pull Sebastian in for a hug.  It’s an immediate reaction, one he can’t control and something that obviously didn’t fade with time apart.  His entire body is still drawn to Sebastian, no matter how much he tries to tell himself to ignore him.

”Why don’t you just run along, hmm?”  Sebastian says, his smile tight and fake.  He words it as a suggestion, although it’s clear that it’s anything but.  Greg squares his shoulders and Sebastian gives his eyebrow an unimpressed quirk.

“I think Blaine wants me to stay.  Don’t you, Blaine?” Greg says, his smile all wrong.  It doesn’t make Blaine’s heart speed up, doesn’t make him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from returning it.   Even if he knows he shouldn’t, he still wants Sebastian and not this other person standing in front of him.

“Actually,” Blaine starts and he can see Sebastian’s ‘ _I told you so_ ’ smirk already.  “I kind of just want to talk to him,” he says, tipping his beer bottle in Sebastian’s direction.  This isn’t turning out how Blaine imagined but, maybe, it’ll turn out better.  Sebastian’s here and he’s not with another boy, doesn’t have his arms wrapped around someone else on the dance floor.  He’s here and next to Blaine, attempting to chase off a guy who can’t seem to understand Blaine’s disinterest.

“Now if you’ll excuse us,” Sebastian says, waiting for Greg to step away.  He doesn’t move and Sebastian picks his hands up and flicks his wrist.  “Shoo,” he says, smirking as Greg sputters and then turns away.

And now it’s just the two of them, fitted tightly together at the crowded bar.  Blaine keeps his eyes down, running his finger around a ring of water left on the top of the bar.  Sebastian is so close and it’s overwhelming, the way his body still reacts to Sebastian.  It’s like his head isn’t even connected, all of the rational thought gone the second Sebastian steps into his personal space.

“Hey, Blaine,” he says, knocking their shoulders together.  It’s such a friendly thing to do and Blaine’s heart squeezes in his chest.  “I didn’t think I’d see you here again.”  There’s a long pause and Blaine can hear Sebastian sigh heavily a few times.  “I—um—I’m glad you’re here.”

Blaine has to swallow twice before his mouth and throat cooperate, but he still doesn’t look up.  “Hi, Sebastian.”  He doesn’t trust himself to say anything else, to let Sebastian know that he’s glad to be here too, now that they’re here together.  Just being near Sebastian is making Blaine feel better, better than he has in weeks, soothing and comforting and exactly what he needs.  He finally looks up and sees the tight line of Sebastian’s lips turn into a smile when their eyes meet.  It feels different after everything they’ve been through, but there’s an undercurrent of familiarity that warms Blaine through.  He knows this boy better than maybe anyone else; at least anyone who still wants to speak to him.

Sebastian’s lips are moving, but the music is suddenly louder, the bass kicked up as more people move out to the dance floor.  Blaine can’t hear what Sebastian is saying, can’t make out the movement of his lips.  “What?” Blaine shouts, trying to be heard over the music.

Sebastian leans closer and Blaine holds his breath, but before anything can happen, Blaine feels an elbow to his back as he gets pushed up against the bar.

“Sorry, man!” calls a drunken voice from behind him, words slurred as the man makes his way by.  Blaine pulls himself back and straightens out the front of his sweater while Sebastian watches the man walk away, his eyes narrowed.

“Can we get out of here?”  Sebastian shouts, quickly backpedaling as Blaine’s eyes widen at the suggestiveness of his words.  “No, not like that.  I just mean somewhere we can talk, somewhere quieter.”

Blaine realizes he has a choice.  He can leave now and walk away from Sebastian or he can stay and listen to what he has to say.  He’s barely surprised at how quickly he has his answer.

“We can talk in my car?” Blaine offers, shrugging his shoulders as he says it.  It’s too cold to talk outside for very long and Blaine’s not sure what would happen if he invited Sebastian back to his house.  He needs to hear what Sebastian has to say before he even lets his mind wander there.

There’s a hand on his elbow as soon as the words leave his mouth, Sebastian pulling him away from the bar and directing them through the crowd of people.  It’s so fucking familiar that Blaine has to pause and take a deep breath, close his eyes to get himself together and trust Sebastian to lead them out the door.

The air is freezing as they walk outside, but the snow has stopped.  Blaine still feels like he’s burning up, the frigid breeze doing nothing to stop the warmth circling through him, starting where Sebastian’s hand is still clutching onto his elbow.  Blaine steers them through the parking lot, Sebastian staying close to his side even when they have to turn and twist to fit between cars that are too close together.

They break apart when they find Blaine’s car, Sebastian squeezing Blaine’s elbow before he lets go and walks over to the passenger side.  Blaine’s hands are shaking as he unlocks his door and he has a brief moment of rethinking this entire thing before he reaches across and opens the door for Sebastian, who slides inside easily.  Blaine starts the car to take some chill out of it, holding his frozen fingers in front of the heat vent as he waits for Sebastian to speak.

He doesn’t.  They sit in silence and Blaine watches the minutes pass on his dashboard clock.  Even if he knew what to say, he still needs Sebastian to talk first, to try and understand what’s going on.  He can’t put himself out there first, to tell Sebastian how he really feels, not after what happened the last time.  So Blaine waits, letting his fingers and nose and the tips of ears thaw out as Sebastian’s hands grip onto his knees.

Finally Sebastian sighs loudly and it sounds like he’s forced it out, as if he knows what he wants to say, but unsure just how to say it.  “I—“ He starts and then stops abruptly, and Blaine can see his knuckles turning white as he grips onto his knees tighter.  Sebastian pushes a harsh breath out of his nose before trying again.  “You know—” Another pause.  “Fuck, Blaine.  Come on.”  He’s clearly aggravated, but Blaine can’t figure out why; if he’s annoyed that he has to speak first, if he doesn’t know _what_ he wants to say, if he can’t put into words what he’s feeling.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Sebastian,” Blaine says honestly.  Being this close to Sebastian after being apart is taking its toll on Blaine.  He feels wound up tight, his heart and his head in a constant battle over what he should do and what he wants to do.  He knows what he wants; to pull Sebastian across his seat and kiss him in all the places that he’s missed, to touch him everywhere he’s been craving.  His brain stops him and instead he plucks uselessly at the steering wheel.

“Fine, okay.  You want me to say it, fine,” Sebastian says and Blaine knows enough to see that Sebastian isn’t angry at anyone but himself.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you, even though you asked me not to.  I should have because I need to explain everything and because it hurt to not talk to you and because I missed you, okay?  I missed you.”  He takes a deep breath and all Blaine can do is look over with big eyes, trying to swallow down the hope he feels building in his chest.

“I don’t—I don’t do this,” Sebastian explains, motioning between the two of them.  “What we had, what we were doing, it was all new to me, okay?  I had no idea what I was doing.”  He struggles as he says the words and Blaine wants nothing more than to reach out and lace their fingers together, to drag his thumb across Sebastian’s knuckles and try to calm him down.  “It was just supposed to be sex, but then you had to go and be _you_ ,” and he says it with just a touch of sweetness and Blaine can actually feel his heart falling back into place.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says fondly, and he knows no matter what Sebastian has to say, they’re going to be okay.

“And I’m sorry for lying,” Sebastian rambles on, as if he didn’t hear Blaine at all.  “In my dorm, when you were talking and fuck—you were so open and I just couldn’t be and I’m sorry.”  He finally looks up from his lap and turns to face Blaine.  He looks more vulnerable than Blaine has ever seen him.  “Blaine.  I mean—of course.  Of course I feel the same way about you.”

There’s a pounding in Blaine’s ears, loud and persistent and it must be from all of his blood rushing to his face.  He feels lightheaded and dizzy and he grabs onto the steering wheel to ground himself.  It’s what he’s wanted to hear for months, what he convinced himself wasn’t possible.  Sebastian is saying the words he’s ached to hear and it doesn’t matter if they’re a month late, he understands Sebastian and how difficult this is for him.

“Can you say something?” Sebastian asks, as close to pleading as he can get.  “Is it too late?”

The elation that fills Blaine makes it hard for him to speak, so he just shakes his head and then smiles and nods.  The look of confusion on Sebastian’s face just makes Blaine smile wider, too many words caught in his brain and unable to work them out of his mouth.  Instead he reaches across the center of the car and finally, finally, has his arms around Sebastian.  Sebastian tenses up before realizing what’s happening and relaxes in Blaine’s arms.  It doesn’t even matter that his back is twisted and his arms are at an awkward angle around Sebastian’s shoulders, the overwhelming happiness that fills him cancels everything else out.  He digs his face deep into Sebastian’s neck and tries to calm his racing heart.

Sebastian rubs his cheek against Blaine’s temple.  “Are we okay?” he asks softly, his hands finding their place on the small of Blaine’s back.  It’s still a perfect fit.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, chuckling and shaking his head, which just buries his face deeper into Sebastian’s neck and shoulder.  “Of course we are.”

Blaine can feel when Sebastian’s chest exhales with relief, his arms tightening around Blaine’s body.  He can’t see his face, but Blaine knows the smile that’s there; he memorized it months ago. 

There’s one thing that Blaine still has to ask, needs to know before he lets himself fall completely.  “Is it just going to be us?  No one else?”  He asks.  It’s the last thing holding him back.  Because Sebastian can confess his feelings for Blaine until he has nothing left to say, but if they can’t be exclusive, if they can’t be together in the way Blaine needs, he needs to know now.  “Can you do that?”

“I can try,” Sebastian answers quickly, no hesitation.  “I’ve never done this before, been someone’s boyfriend,” he says and even hearing that word makes Blaine’s chest tighten.  “But I want to be.  Is that enough?”

Blaine nods, finally pulling back from Sebastian’s neck.  He knows Sebastian, knows that this is something new and potentially hard for him.  He knows it might not be easy, that Sebastian might have a difficult time with monogamy down the road when he confuses comfort and intimacy with boring and routine.  But he’s going to try and that’s all Blaine can ask, all he ever wanted.

“Are you going to make me change my Facebook status?” Sebastian asks and Blaine laughs for what feels like the first time in forever.  The mood changes into something better, easier, and Blaine playfully punches Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” he says fondly.  “Or I won’t invite you back to my house.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian says instantly, perking up and making Blaine laugh again.  It feels so fucking _good_ after feeling like a part of him has been missing.

“Yeah,” Blaine repeats, pulling back with a kiss to Sebastian’s lips, settling into his seat and putting the car into drive.  Sebastian tries to follow him, stretching his body over the center console and placing a kiss underneath Blaine’s ear.  Blaine takes a steadying breath as Sebastian’s lips press into his skin.  “Put on your seatbelt,” he says shakily, proud of himself for even getting the words out.  He knows there’s no way he can concentrate on driving when Sebastian’s lips are skimming all over his neck.  He can feel when Sebastian’s mouth turns into a pout.

“Fine,” he huffs out playfully, moving back into his seat.

There’s nothing Blaine wants more than to reach over and put their hands together, to touch Sebastian in any way that he can, but he knows there will be time for that —and so much more—later.  He looks over and sees Sebastian relaxed in the seat, his legs parted and his head reclined fully back.  He’s watching the trees and houses outside the window, a content smile that looks permanently etched on his face.  It settles Blaine’s nerves seeing Sebastian like that and he turns his attention back to the road.

\--

They don’t _run_ into Blaine’s house—that would be silly and immature and Blaine knows Sebastian prides himself on being neither of those things.  But they do scramble out of the car and up the walkway, Sebastian’s hands all over Blaine’s body as he tries to unlock the front door.  He shoves his hands into the back pockets of Blaine’s jeans, muttering softly under his breath the whole time.

“Let me get the door open,” Blaine says, although he can’t help but lean back into Sebastian’s touch.

“Can’t help it,” Sebastian says, pushing forward once Blaine finally turns the doorknob.

They stumble inside, quickly losing their shoes and socks and jackets as soon as the door shuts behind them.  Blaine finds that he doesn’t care that they’re leaving clothes in the front hallway, not if it means Sebastian is closer to being naked in his bed.  He’s never felt such a powerful surge of _need_ before, taking over his entire body and making it difficult for him to think.  His hands are all over Sebastian as they shuffle down the hallway, tripping over their feet as they go.  They stop only to kiss, frantic pressing of lips together, just on the right side of too hard.  It makes Blaine’s knees shake, the way Sebastian pulls him up—closer, closer, closer—hooking an arm around his waist and dragging Blaine up, until there’s no space between them.

“Come on,” Blaine urges, tugging on the loops of Sebastian’s jeans, finally pulling Sebastian into his room.  Sebastian laughs at Blaine’s eagerness, bending down to nip at his bottom lip.

“Seems like you missed me,” Sebastian says, and Blaine wants to kiss the smirk right off of his face.

“Shut up,” Blaine mumbles, tugging Sebastian by the hips until the back of his knees hit the bed.  Blaine doesn’t hesitate as he climbs on, letting go of Sebastian’s pants to pull off his own shirt.  He throws it onto the floor and then starts on the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper and wiggling his hips.  Sebastian is frozen by the foot of Blaine’s bed, unmoving as he watches Blaine undress.  Blaine pauses, his pants tugged down to his ankles, when he notices Sebastian standing there, saying nothing.  “Do you not want to?”  Blaine asks, his heart pounding.  Maybe Sebastian wants to take things slow now that they’ve worked everything out, to not fall right back into bed and into old habits.  Blaine’s entire body is thrumming with how much he wants Sebastian—to have his body naked and warm and pressed right beside Blaine’s.  He can’t imagine why Sebastian would want to wait, but Blaine will, if that’s what he wants.  Blaine shrugs a shoulder, waiting for Sebastian’s answer.

Sebastian moves quickly, almost faster than Blaine can follow.  His shirt is pulled up and over his head, his pants and underwear hitting the floor before Blaine realizes what’s happening.  Blaine tries to keep up, his eyes flicking from the hard planes of Sebastian’s chest to the pale skin of his thighs.  He wants to look, to see everything that he’s missed, but Sebastian is climbing onto the bed before Blaine can admire the dips of his stomach.  Sebastian crawls over Blaine’s body, pushing his shoulders until Blaine is lying flat on his back.  He looks up and sees Sebastian’s above him, the light from his ceiling causing a soft glow around Sebastian’s cheeks.  Blaine feels like he must be dreaming, but Sebastian’s knees nudged in between his spread legs feels very real.

“I was going to take my time with you,” Sebastian says, bending down to run the tip of his nose along Blaine’s jawline, adjusting his legs until their cocks slide together.  Blaine groans when Sebastian rolls his hips, his head pressing back into the mattress.  “I was going to go over.  Every.  Inch.”  Sebastian punctuates each word with a bite to Blaine’s neck, his jaw, the slope of his shoulder.

“Don’t wanna wait,” Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s back and digging his fingers into the familiar muscle.  He’s missed this more than he can describe, more than he even realized until he had Sebastian back.  Finally having Sebastian back hurts in its own way, like his chest is going to explode from _too much_.  It’s overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

“Next time,” Sebastian promises, his breath coming fast as they rock against each other.  He moves an arm under Blaine’s neck and cradles his head, his other arm pressed into the mattress and holding all of his weight.  The way Sebastian moves isn’t designed to get them off, their cocks barely rubbing each time Sebastian rocks his hips down, but Blaine still feels like it’s too much.  He knows he could come from just this, with Sebastian’s cheek pressed against his temple and his harsh breath in Blaine’s ear.

“More,” Blaine begs and hopes that Sebastian understands.  He can’t think past that—more, more, more—so focused solely on Sebastian.  He jerks his hips up, meeting Sebastian’s thrust down.  “ _Please_.”

“Blaine,” Sebastian gasps and the way he says it, like he’s been holding it inside for too long, makes Blaine’s heart pull (closer to Sebastian, always closer).  He moves blindly for Blaine’s nightstand, his arm long and stretched out, but they’re too far away to reach.  Sebastian growls, clearly aggravated that the lube isn’t closer.  He moves his hand from under Blaine’s neck, sliding beneath his shoulder until it’s resting underneath the middle of his back.  The pressure feels nice, a reminder that Sebastian is there, but it doesn’t last.  Sebastian pulls Blaine up the bed, closer to the headboard, until the drawer is within reach.  “Not letting you go,” he says, settling Blaine back on the bed and successfully reaching over for the lube. “Not even for a second.”  He pops open the cap with him thumb and tips the bottle, letting too much liquid fall onto his hands.

Blaine wraps his arms tighter around Sebastian’s shoulders, bracing himself for when Sebastian’s hand wraps around them.  He still jerks as soon as Sebastian touches him, his fist slippery and warm and absolutely perfect.  There’s not much room in between them, both wanting to be as close as possible, but Sebastian works is way in, wrapping his fingers around their cocks and fucking his hips forward.

“I want to fuck you,” Sebastian says, his words dissolving into nothing more than moans when Blaine wraps his legs around Sebastian’s waist.  “But I didn’t bring any protection.”

“Why not?” Blaine asks, his entire body writhing against the bed as Sebastian tightens his grip.  It’s too good already—the friction against his dick and Sebastian covering him completely.  He wants to tell Sebastian how much he missed him, how perfect everything feels, but he can’t focus —it’s too much, and his body shakes.

“I didn’t think I’d see you there,” Sebastian says and Blaine can feel how his whole body is strung up tight.  His eyebrows are drawn together in concentration, the steady pumping of his hand inching their bodies together up the bed.  “I didn’t want to sleep with anyone besides you.”

Blaine grabs for Sebastian’s face blindly, pulling him up roughly until he can press frantic kisses all over his face.  He finally lands on Sebastian’s lips and his mouth is open before they even touch, desperate and hurried and exactly what Blaine had been missing.  “I missed you,” Blaine says and he’s never meant anything more.  “So much, Sebastian.”

Sebastian’s grip falters, his hips stuttering out of rhythm as Blaine speaks.  He corrects it quickly, his hand picking up speed as he works them both closer and closer.  Blaine cries out, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck—not to hide his moans, but because he _can_.  They’re okay, Sebastian wants him, and Blaine strains his body closer.

“I missed you, too,” Sebastian confesses and Blaine knows he can’t hold on much longer.  “Every fucking day, Blaine.”  Their hips fall out of sync and Blaine doesn’t even notice.  He ruts up against Sebastian’s thigh, his hips, the hard muscles of his lower stomach.  It’s about so much more than getting off—it’s about finally being close, knowing that Sebastian feels the same way about him, and admitting that he wants them to be together just as much as Blaine does.

Sebastian grinds down as he twists his wrist up and Blaine can’t do anything besides squeeze his eyes shut and let go.  He holds on to Sebastian’s shoulders so tight that his muscles start to ache and it only adds to the feeling, a dull pleasure-pain that’s amplified as he comes hard between their bodies.  His whole body jerks and he holds on, wraps them together with his arms and legs, choking on Sebastian’s name.

He feels a sharp, quick pain in his shoulder as Sebastian’s teeth sink in, his legs and arms shaking before he stills completely.  Blaine’s still groggy from his own orgasm, eyes blinking slowly and a happy grin on his face, and he’s not even sure Sebastian has come until he hears a whimpered, “Blaine” in his ear.  Sebastian sags down on top of him, their bodies sweaty and slick and completely messy, and Blaine doesn’t even _care_.  Not when he has Sebastian’s weight pressing him down into the mattress, when he can feel the soft scrape of Sebastian’s thumb tracing patterns against his neck.

“Do you want me to move?” Sebastian asks, his voice hoarse and scratchy, the way Blaine knows he always gets after they’ve finished.  His weight is beginning to become too much and Blaine struggles to take in a deep breath, but he doesn’t want Sebastian anywhere else.

“No,” he hums happily, his palm flat and running up and down the length of Sebastian’s back.  It’s as if he can’t get enough, his body craving Sebastian and to make up for lost time.

Sebastian laughs and presses a quick kiss to Blaine cheek, rolling off of Blaine and onto his side.  He taps his upper arm, right before his shoulder, and Blaine scoots over, curling up and lying his head on Sebastian’s arm.  Sebastian curls himself around Blaine and places a kiss to the top of his head.

“Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me now, Sebastian,” Blaine jokes.  He feels fingers dig into his sides but he can’t force himself to squirm away.

“I didn’t hear you complaining about me being soft a few minutes ago,” Sebastian counters and Blaine’s whole body hums with contentment.  This is exactly what he wants, what he thought he’d never want again.  He closes his eyes and listens to Sebastian’s even breathing, his head rising and falling next to Sebastian’s chest.

“So this is for real, right?”  Blaine asks, because he needs to be sure.  “I didn’t just make this up, did I?”

Sebastian sighs and pulls him in tighter, until his face is pressed hard against the muscle of Sebastian’s chest, making it hard for him to breath.  Blaine loves every second of it.

“I’m sorry that I gave you a reason to doubt me,” Sebastian says and the sincerity is evident in his voice.  “I can’t promise that I’ll always be perfect, but I’m going to try.  For you.”  He pauses and Blaine wants to kiss him before he’s even finished.  “Can we do that?”

Blaine has nothing left to say.  Sebastian knows how he feels, knows exactly what he wants, and wants the same things too.  So Blaine just nods.

“Good,” Sebastian says, smiling against Blaine’s temple.  “Now, the most important question: who’s going to tell the Warblers?”

The joy that Blaine feel is something new and different, something he’s never really felt before, not like this.  He thinks, “ _I love you_ ,” but he doesn’t say it—not yet.  There will be time for that later, when things are settled and back to normal, when neither of them are scared of what could happen.  It doesn’t scare Blaine, he’s never been surer of anything.  Sebastian is what he wants—all of him, not just parts.  He wants Sebastian’s good and his bad, the difficult times and things that will just roll off their backs.  He wants it all and as long as he’s with Sebastian, he knows they’ll manage.

“You can tell them,” Blaine says, hooking their ankles together.  “But make sure to let Thad down easy.”


	11. Epilogue

“Blaine, come on, just stop already,” Sebastian huffs, trying to bat Blaine’s fingers away from his tie.  “It looks fine.”  It’s cute—the way Sebastian pretends to be annoyed, how he tries to hide his smile while Blaine fiddles with the tie around his neck.  The tie is actually mostly straight, maybe just a little off center, but Blaine wants an excuse to see Sebastian before their glee clubs preform. 

“You really thing I’m going to let my boyfriend go out on stage at Sectionals with a crooked tie?”  Blaine asks, fussing with the knot at Sebastian’s neck; loosening, then tightening, and back again.  “In what world would I ever let that happen?” He teases.  Sebastian just rolls his eyes but drops his hands, putting them into his pockets and letting Blaine finish tugging at the red and blue fabric.

“Are you finished yet?” Sebastian sighs, his eyes looking around the empty McKinley hallway.  “These neon signs are making me nauseous.”  He gestures towards the bright paper taped up to the walls proclaiming, “ _PEP RALLY THIS FRIDAY_!” and “ _GO TITANS_!”

“There,” Blaine says, tightening Sebastian’s tie for the final time.  “Ready to go.”

Things aren’t perfect between them, but Blaine never expected them to be.  He still gets nervous when Sebastian isn’t quick to answer a text late at night—until Blaine receives a picture on his phone of a pouting Sebastian holding his history book, a streak of yellow highlighter across his cheek.  Blaine’s heart still drops when he sees a cute boy approach Sebastian at the movies while Blaine waits in line for popcorn—until he sees Sebastian ignore the boy completely before walking over to throw his arm around Blaine’s shoulder.  Blaine still worries that this will be too hard for Sebastian, that he’ll change his mind and tell Blaine that being exclusive isn’t working out, that he doesn’t want the commitment—until Sebastian whispers in Blaine’s ear late one night as they’re falling asleep on the phone, “ _being with you is the easiest thing in the world.  I don’t know what I was so scared of_.”

They still have distance, and school, and glee, and preparing for college to take up the majority of their time, but they make sure to see each other at least once a week—usually Friday nights.  “ _Keep with tradition,”_ Sebastian had said and Blaine hadn’t been able to argue, absolutely content to spend his weekends curled up on Sebastian’s bed and not at Scandals.

“Now,” Sebastian starts, letting his own fingers curl around Blaine’s black tie.  “Try not to take it too badly when we beat you,” he says, smirking as he tugs Blaine closer, causing Blaine to stumble forward.  Sebastian wraps his free arm around Blaine’s waist and Blaine lets himself be caught.  “Careful.  Wouldn’t want you to fall and break your talent.”

Blaine laughs, leaning into Sebastian’s chest before pulling away and stepping to the side to check his tie in the reflection of the trophy case.  “The Warblers are great, but we’re going to mop the floor with you guys,” Blaine says confidently, practicing his smile in the glass.

“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I wouldn’t tolerate that,” Sebastian says, stepping behind Blaine and checking his reflection, smoothing down a few stray hairs.

They haven’t said “ _love_ ”, not yet, but Blaine thinks it—almost every day.  He wants Sebastian to be the one to say it first, but it’s starting to become harder and harder to keep it inside.  Sometimes Blaine has to bite his cheek or dig his fingers into his sides to keep from blurting it out, and sometimes—when he’s certain Sebastian is asleep—he mouths the words against Sebastian’s chest.

“What about a last minute switch?” Sebastian offers, wrapping his arm around Blaine’s waist and tugging him closer, until their hips bump together and Blaine’s shoulder is tucked into Sebastian’s side.  “I’ll kick out one of the new kids and you can take his place.  I’ll even make sure it’s a freshman so you at least have a chance of fitting into his uniform.”

Blaine digs his shoulder into Sebastian playfully, rolling his eyes, the teasing calming his nerves before they head up on stage.  “Are you ever going to give that a rest?” Blaine asks, although he secretly enjoys every time Sebastian jokes about him coming back to Dalton.

“Unlikely,” he answers, and their eyes meet in the reflective glass.

“Sebastian!” Hunter’s deep voice echoes down the hallway.  “We’re on in five.  Let’s go!”

Sebastian sighs and pulls away, giving one last squeeze to Blaine’s hip before letting go.  “Good luck.  Knock ‘em dead.”

“Same to you and the guys,” Blaine says, and Sebastian doesn’t even hesitate to bend down and place a firm, quick kiss on Blaine’s lips.  “I’ll see you at Breadstix after the competition, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sebastian answers, smiling one last time before turning and jogging down the hallway to meet Hunter.

Blaine finds the rest of the New Directions in the choir room, huddled together in a circle while Mr. Schuester gives them his usual pre-performance pep talk.  Blaine slides in between Sam and Tina, grabbing Tina’s hand.  No one seems to notice that he was missing, besides Sam, who punches Blaine in the shoulder.

“Where were you, dude?” Sam whispers.  “Joe made us each say a prayer and I panicked and said I was thankful for Bagel Bites.”

“Sorry, I had to wish Sebastian luck.  The Warblers are on next,” Blaine explains.  The New Directions know about Blaine and Sebastian and it’s mostly okay, only a few of the older members even remember who Jesse St. James is.

Mr. Schuester finishes up his speech, clapping his hands together in excitement.  “Okay, guys.  Let’s go cheer on The Warblers!”

The auditorium is already dark when they walk inside and Blaine quickly finds his seat, settling down in his chair and wiping his damp palms on his thighs.  The Warblers are lined up on stage, covered in shadows as the spot line shines down on Hunter as he introduces them to the crowd.  Blaine holds his breath until Sebastian steps out into the light, his lips pursed together in a whistle.

Both of the songs The Warblers preform are amazing.  Blaine knows he should be worried about how his own group will fair against them, but he can’t be bothered.  He only feels joy, pride, and awe as he watches Sebastian lead The Warblers into their second song.

Blaine is the first one out of his seat before Sebastian is done holding out the last note, jumping up and clapping his hands loudly until his palms start to sting.  Blaine’s excited and proud and wants to turn to the people behind him and shout, “I love him!” while pointing to the stage.  He settles for whooping loudly, his hands circled around his mouth to make the sound louder as it carries over to the stage.   He gets a few strange looks from the other show choirs seated around him, but he doesn’t care.  Sebastian’s smile is huge and Blaine’s matches, nothing but pure happiness racing through every inch of his body as he cheers for his boyfriend up on the stage.


End file.
